Sorry about my last journal, this year has been extremely taxing on my mental health and I’m not 100% sure what the future holds. Last night I really spiraled because my chronic pain I’ve been feeling this whole summer was almost unbearable. I’ve been very worried about my physical health and my anxiety is getting worse. It doesn’t help everyone I care about is going through a lot too and I feel helpless. Also how the internet and everything feeling like it’s getting worse as censorship is high and I feel worried about creating art that could get me into trouble with corporations and governments that are run by crybaby neckbeards and soccer moms. Beating myself up too because I can never push myself to leave the house and find work/activities. This whole year has been very taxing and I just wish all my stress and the chronic pains ( that no doctor can find the source or cause of after a couple very expensive trips to medical centers) and the worry of my own mortality and fear I’ll die or something will just.. stop. Life is a gift and I want to use my gift and enjoy it but lately it’s so hard to enjoy that gift. Part of my dark thoughts feel everything happening is either a punishment or a test and it just runs with that and feeling like I deserve to suffer.

As for art, or even what I exclaimed the other day about deleting everything and leaving I’m leaving open in the air. I probably won’t do that, but I may delete some of the art that I don’t feel very comfortable about anymore. I may even rebrand with a different sona as this current sona I’m not 100% sure about anymore. And if a payment processor decides to end FA or that it will become harder to create furry content in the United States if they do get their way then I may go to mastodon or some other platform all the other furs go to. I am on Bluesky but I’m feeling a lot less confident about Bluesky after they blended themselves to letting governments spy and censor whatever they want on there and it’ll only get worse.

Will I post here again soon? Maybe. This sounds pathetic but I literally have anxiety trying to post something here because I have a big backlog of things I made and thinks to clean from my notifications that I am unsure where to start and it’s really screwing with me. I may post some things that I did, but as for everything that may not happen. Anyway sorry i probably upset everyone again. Enjoy your summer.

In my last deluded rant on FA I mentioned between the speech of this country’s collapse that I have left Instagram and Twitter for good. Today I have officially decided on another platform that I haven’t been happy with for months… years. Idk. Let me explain why I’ve been closing myself off and I feel like this is the best path forward until I find the direction, or the internet starts being good again.

I have officially decided to privatize nearly all my videos on my Josh the Kataroo YouTube channel and for the foreseeable future or longer keep it closed off not only due to the fact that I have become increasingly paranoid of AI and the fact my own voice is on some of the videos, as well as other crap about the platform I’ve grown to become hostile towards in recent years, but also many many personal reasons why I’m doing this. One of the more simple things I can say on why is because I am not happy with this channel. I am not happy with my videos, and how they’ve been going downhill, and how nothing I seem to create seems to work anymore. There have been many many videos that I’ve started and never finished, either because I don’t have the energy or I start to actively hate what I make or fear I will legit make something that will ultimately hurt me. Plus the fact both of my channels barely cracked any views post 2022 it feels like this channel isn’t built for this modern era of slop and ”Ai devious backshot rizz gamer storytelling compilation #1000 (you won’t believe what happens next 😱⁉️)” type of videos out there now.

So what will happen next? I’m probably going back to my main YouTube channel (WamVideoArchive) and I will rename it to J-555FILMS, just like my current Vimeo channel is named. And I could produce videos on either of those, but what those videos will be will either be random things I make or some project I put together on my own terms. Ideally something that isn’t a rant or a video that I don’t feel like making anymore. Will this change and I re-instate everything back on JTK? Maybe in the future, but rn I don’t really feel safe there anymore. Sorry for anyone who is upset by this decision, but I think this is for the best. I’m slowly leaving the major forms of social media; Twitter and Insta are gone, and now this is closed. I feel more free this way.

This isn’t an apology for my last journal, but rather a more cautionary statement that’s condensed from my last journal. I am debating whether to delete it or not but I feel like I have nowhere to honestly talk and it drives me insane. And when I wrote my last journal I was legitimately s*icidal that day. Today I’m back to feeling dread from the high of optimism but I’ll forget to write or come back to this site for days again so it’s as good as it’s gonna get.

So it’s no secret America is shit right now, and they’re doing increasingly fucked up things to stay in power. I’d go to a protest but I barely feel safe going to the store let alone a protest, and if I didn’t have my elderly family to help take care of I probably would have less regrets about showing up. But because I have people who need me all I can really do is retweet shit on Bluesky.

I will not retract my statement I have no hope in any government official or group stopping this country from collapse. But I do feel like i underestimate the people in this country and abroad who are genuinely concerned and actively trying to make this world a better place. If this country goes to shit I’m sure the people will step up and rebuild everything back better than before. I do believe in a better future that will be built on the world we make.

I’m still cautiously optimistic because the future could be bright, I have no idea what’s going to happen now or that any of us will live to see that future. I still believe my life is basically over by what has happened. There’s no way I can be who I want to be in a world hostile to my very existence.

I won’t go all crazy in my last journal but don’t be surprised if one day you may not see any more posts here or elsewhere, whether the internet shuts down, global war, I’m dead, etc.


As for the other updates:
I no longer have Instagram or Twitter and I plan to delete more of my social medias and switch to more private ones or small ones like FA

Also soon I’m going to do another art dump here. Enjoy.

I’m done trying to have hope in this country. The judges are corrupt, the DOJ is corrupted, the police are corrupt, the senators and governors are corrupt, the the FBI is corrupt, all the federal agencies are slashed and replaced by corrupt officials, the republicans are fascist and the democrats are fucking feckless pussies, the corporations are ran by greedy morons, and Trumps whole cabinet are nasty and evil and extremely weird individuals who think the roaring 20s will come back by fucking the entire government, getting rid of civil rights, getting rid of anything they think is “woke” and “gay”, banning women and queer from voting, disappearing and deporting and even enslaving immigrants who came here LEGALLY, and now they’re considering getting rid of due process and can deport ANY CITIZEN EVEN PEOPLE BORN IN USA FOR ANY REASON NOW and taken to a camp in El Salvador. All of this and much more shit that I didn’t even mention and we are only 3 months in a 4 year OR POTENTIALLY LONGER regime cause it’s not just trump that’s corrupt, but a fuckton of people in office who are happy to continue this hell.

I say all this because like last post I did, this may be last post because any day now I could be taken away, murdered, tortured, I don’t fucking know. I have no faith anything will get better anymore. I have no faith our protests will ultimately stop anything from happening. I have no doubt that this country wants people like me dead, because I’m bisexual and queer and actually have a soul and empathy compared to most people. It’s clear that’s what they’re working toward and most people in this country are actively cheering for trump to “destroy his enemies” and turn this nation into a dictatorship.

I am truly sorry to the rest of this world that USA is destroying the free world, and want to take over Canada and Greenland, and tarrifs fucking everyone else over. I am sorry we have failed this world and we ended up with this administration. I don’t blame anyone that you would never trust this nation again or even trust Americans in general after the dust settles. I would rather be locked up than serve this country at this point if they bring back the draft. I would never brutalize the freedom of other people or serve a fascist pig.

And yes I know some government agency is listening to this post rn. I know they’re watching me I know I’ve seen unmarked vehicles near my house and watching me. I know it.

I don’t know if this will be my last journal.

My greatest fear is officially taking place, and I have never been more frustrated, violent, stressed, and afraid in my life. I never thought things would truly become this terrible but they have and I am fully convinced this country is on a path of tyranny and collapse but I have no clue whether I’ll be around to see this collapse. It’s painfully clear the new regime wants people like me gone and the Democrats and the representatives who are supposed to be the “opposition” clearly don’t give a shit enough to care or outright benefit from the fascist movement. We are on our own now. It’s over.

It’s a weird vibe watching everything around me getting censored or collapsing and wondering whether I’ll be dead before the year is over for speaking out about it or imprisoned for being queer while trying to make weird fetish art for randos on the internet. Pretending to be happy while fearing that at any moment some insane bootlicker will screw my life over and hurt me or my family. Constantly feeling like I’m being watched this whole fucking year already doesn’t help. There’s been strange activity and I am starting to lose it.

Just to set the record right in case they try to bring back the draft: I refuse to be in the service. I refuse to brutalize nations that trump wants to take over like Canada and Greenland and Panama, they will never be your 51st states Donald. I refuse to hurt innocent lives. If this makes me an enemy then so be it. I already am undesirable in their eyes anyway.

I don’t know if websites like this will stay around. If they do ban all queer, nsfw, or anything against their P25 agenda then I dunno how long I can stay around. All I know is that the next 20-80 years are going to be hell and my life may as well be over. I will keep trying to hold on but I can’t guarantee a thing.

I don’t know what to do. Everyone keeps telling me to hold on or to ignore everything going on but it’s becoming increasingly impossible because all of this affects all of us. I deeply wish I could ignore it but I can’t. I just want to be happy again…

As we leave 2024 and enter a new year of uncertainty, I admit that I’m more nervous about this year than I have been for many others, fearing about whether anything will be good again. I don’t know what shall transpire within the year and beyond, but I don’t want to make this journal a sad one. I do want to organize my thoughts about the new year and predictions in an upcoming journal. For now though, I hope everyone will have a healthy new year, and that everyone will be able to achieve many things no matter how big or how small those accomplishments are.

I also want to say how incredibly lucky I am to be here, and how grateful I am that I have my friends and family. And that I am part of amazing communities online that I genuinely care about and I try my best to contribute to. Despite my deep frustrations with this world I do believe fully that it’s full of great people and great beauty, that there’s hope within us and that bitter divisive rage shall not consume it. My greatest wish for this year and beyond is that we live, and that whatever this new year throws at us will not crush us nor our communities, that we may enjoy living life to the fullest and not let anything get in the way.

This year my biggest goal for my own life is to try and live again too, and not let the fear of the unknown get to me as well as past regrets control me. To this I hope that I can achieve it, despite how difficult for me this is. I hope to create a lot of things in this coming year, and I hope you all will enjoy what I will make too.

I cherish you all. And I wish you all a happy new year.

I’m gonna lay down a couple new rules that may or may not be permanent, depending on how things play out.

1. For the better part of the foreseeable future I will not take any more requests from people I don’t know too well anymore.

2. FA notes will not be the place for asking for requests anymore. This ties into 1 above as for the foreseeable future I will not take any requests from outside those who I know, but also because I’ve had way to much problems this whole year with requests on FA notes

3. If you have a problem with me or my art, either note me on here or DM me elsewhere, but do not throw a fit under my art, do not be rude to others, and do not put anything in my shouts about it because I will not hesitate to hide the comment and depending on the comment I will not hesitate to report the comment(s). I have had multiple times this year where people have either been incredibly rude, guilt trip me that I have to do their art, steal my art, make comments insinuating I’m into awful shit, spamming my notes and not learning the word “no”.

So I’m just deciding between a couple of these incidents this year that im gonna put my foot down from now on

This is a heads up/rant but mostly to say I will be limiting how many projects and artworks I take on from now on. I may cancel a lot of projects and requests people ask me to do. I am feeling like I am making the same kind of content over and over and it’s not feeling fresh. I have talked about this on the past but it’s still not feeling fresh after a break. I know people like me for one thing but I am really wanting to try something different and to challenge what I can create.

Even with this, I’m not very sure much art will be created in the coming months/years. Not only am I in a very deep stressful point right now personally with my life and helping to take care of family, but I am unsure if there will even be any places to post my art anymore depending on what gets censored in the regime taking hold. Depending on how severe I may have to go into hiding for a bit if they truly commit to arresting anyone who makes content they don’t like. I’m not sure if anything will be good ever again but I will say that I hope that the worst doesn’t come. And somehow I find a way to make people happy.

If I disappear one day, it could be because I found a more secure way to post (probably we’d all be there by that time though) or I had to for safety, or something else. Either way, I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but I am just glad to be here now

To all of my followers, I need some advice.

How can I leave the USA as an immigrant when I barely have any sort of experience, not a great stable income, not great with languages (I know a little French), and not sure how long it could take..?

From 2017-2019 I was in a similar mindset. Move somewhere else, cause of how bad everything is getting here. There was a lull from 2020 to 2024 because I had hoped the country would survive. Now I see it’s going to be way worse than I expected, and I dunno how I can survive here and where I can go. Every immigration policy from New Zealand and Europe are very restrictive, Australia and Canada seem too long, and I don’t know any of the languages and customs of Mexico or chile or Japan. I have family in Austria and Germany, but I dunno the language once again and I’m unsure if they’d ever take me in permanently.

I dunno really what I can do but I know this: I don’t wish to stay in United States. I know when a place doesn’t want me, and I know I may not be safe. So, I shall go somewhere I am wanted.

So, everyone who reads this message, can you offer me advice? Please help… I’m scared and not sure what to do. I just want to live in a place that isn’t going to strip my rights.

What can I say right now?

What the fuck can I say?

Is it… “I fucking knew the Orange fuck would win again..”

Is it… “I can’t believe Harris lost to a fucking rapist and fascist and a good chunk of the population of this shit nation are fucking nasty and weird and evil”

Is it… “maybe this all was too good to be true, that this country will never be progressive and that this country will always be a hate filled spitehole that loves to prey on minorities and the poor”

Or maybe it’s… “I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up ever again, be in my own consciousness till the end of time, where I am safe”

Either way, basically what I’m trying to say is fuck trump and fuck America. I don’t care what anyone says, and that what I’m typing now will be illegal under his regime. Fucking arrest me dickface. D fucking double dare you. I will not go quietly. I love my friends who are trans, queer, furry, therian, women, poc, autistic, and more. We are here and we are not going to let you rip up this country.

If by some miracle Kamala somehow wins with the Mail in votes I still take nothing I said back.

Fuck this country for being compromised of fascist bullies.

Please, if you are able on November 5th, vote for Kamala. I already voted early but tomorrow is the final day.

It is no secret trump wants to enable project 25 and to mass censor the internet. If they get their way, they will make queer and nsfw art a crime. I could go to prison for what I draw right now. All your favorite artists could be in jeopardy.

That’s all I’ll say at this point. If you’re not convinced at this point nothing will.

This is almost the same as the journal I posted about the election last time but I feel even worse now.

It’s a couple days till election, and I am the most anxiety ridden I think I’ve been in my life. I don’t think my health can take much more as my stress levels are high thinking about the worst.

Donald trump wants a fascist government. He is no longer hiding his intentions. He wants his rabid cult to “””””””deport”””””” anyone who isn’t with him. He wants to destroy every achievement we have made in the 20th and 21st centuries so far from women’s rights to racial equality to lgbtq rights and religious freedom. He wants to rip our lives apart and have the military kill us for protesting and enslave those who are incarcerated.

The worst fucking part? He is STILL doing well in the polls.
Those in power love trump from the big businesses to the religious cults to the Christofascists and police, all these people want the power to harm anyone they want, to ruin the lives of any target that they can get to, and subjugation of the masses. And people still love trump because they love fascism and hating people who they are afraid of.

I am so deeply upset and terrified if Kamala loses, despite me not liking Kamala and Biden and the do nothing Dems at this point, because with Kamala we have hope to finish Donald and his cult and to keep progress going where we can survive another day. But the fact there’s a 50/50 chance that we will get trump is making me want to die. I don’t know what I will do if trump wins. I have nowhere to go and I’m sure I’ll be targeted because I have made my opinions known about trump. My friends, family, the online space I inhabit… all of that could disappear in a flash. Everything I want to be and do in my life will be over. Trump’s Christofascist agenda will get rid of it all. There will be nothing worth living for under project 25 and the world the fascists will destroy with it.

I don’t think I can watch seeing my friends taken from me… I don’t want to live in a country that makes being myself illegal.. I don’t want any of this…

I just want to be happy.. is that so much to ask? I just want to create amazing art or something incredible, learn and explore new cultures and travel the world, be in a polycule who would love me and we all be there for each other, explore myself and my sexuality, watch amazing movies and play amazing games, eat fantastic food that I’ve never eaten, and just… living. I want to live. Not survive. Not pretending to live.

To actually genuinely live.

Something none of these evil people who want to rip it all away have within them. They aren’t living life, but they love taking it. They love watching people suffer, watching the poor and the suffering and the marginalized have nothing. Fuck everyone who loves that orange fuck and his party. Fuck all the corporations and all the donors who support him. Fuck them all.

I am so angry, terrified, and exhausted.

I know the government is listening to what I’m writing. My insane rants that I talk to myself too. I know they know I’m writing this. I don’t care.

This is going to be a rule from now on, and when I finally figure something out for how requests will work moving forward, I will make an a journal about the new process.

I’ve decided I will no longer take requests from FurAffinity itself. Most of whom I take requests here have been fine, but FA notes are very clunky and without the ability to send pictures or anything for updates, and I’d rather use discord or telegram.
Plus I really am exhausted mentally and also wanting to draw things for the spooky season, so I don’t want to take any more requests for a while.
Thanks for understanding

This journal is a more stressed vent and less organized journal than my journal on Project 25. You can read that here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10901081/


So, it is now one month till Election Day in the USA. Between someone who will continue the status quo of the bare minimum (Kamala) and a literal danger to the entire world (Trump). As much as i criticize the Democrats for doing nothing but twiddling thumbs and shaking hands and doing nothing about the carnage overseas, the republicans are fully intent on creating a fascist dictatorship. One that aims to mass deport and violently dispel of anyone they don’t like. Trump has gone on record of wanting to deport millions from this country, destroying every progress made in the 20th century, policing and rounding up queer and women who fight back, locking up political opponents, and more. If we aren’t getting P25 we are definitely getting Trump’s agenda 47 which is a light version of it that is still dangerous and will destroy the country. He literally wants to end Medicare and take everyone off social security, unions, and medical care and force people to die for a profit. The scary thing though is not trump that I worry about, but rather every single person he’s enabled. Every single racist and bigot he will install. They aim to make this country hell for anyone who isn’t them. Donald himself is doing this as revenge.

The worst part? He’s doing great in the polls. Half this country actually wants this dark future. Half this country wants the other half dead. Half of this country is so happy with a man who doesn’t give a damn about them.

Which leads me to my vent….. I really can’t take it anymore. For the past 8 years I watched this world I truly had hope for get dashed. Watching people who were once normal turn into hate filled idiots who believe anything and want to do others harm. Watching this country repeal laws and destroy protections on our future, our freedoms, and our lives. Seeing how they can just pass laws on women’s bodies and who can sleep with whom and criminalizing not even having a house. The police have ramped up it’s brutality by just shooting first and asking no questions. And if the republicans are successful and Christian nationalists take hold of the nation and start criminalizing literally anything they want, what will literally be left to live for? Run away from people and things I love and just ignore everything? Hide somewhere? Fight back? And if they fail, they’ll plunge the nation into turmoil anyway. Watch as the USA Balkanizes and splits into many pieces and live the rest of our lives in a perpetual war? And if Kamala wins… how long until they just decide to try again? Or keep ramping up their rhetoric and violence… something’s going to give. The economy sucks, the geopolitical situation around the world sucks, the earth is dying, the internet is being torn apart, our lives disrupted… seriously, how can life get any better if our very existence is being threatened. I am a bi/pansexual young man (?) with an interest for arts and culture and freedom. I am open and part of many queer subcultures. Everything I am a part of is threatened right now. I am anxious about losing everyone and everything I ever cared about. My irl family too. They are so vulnerable… my mom lost so much money this year. I dunno how we are going to get that money back as her job screws her more. I keep searching for a job but no one wants to hire me. Are we going to go homeless and go into one of the homeless prison camps trump is planning? or I go to prison for liking men? Or I go to prison for making this journal and being critical of Trump? Are we going to get deported for not being “true Americans” to them? Will I never find a job or a life because I dare to talk against Christian Nationalism or being not straight or advocating for women’s health and liberation? Is my life basically over either way? To quote Wall-E: “I don’t want to survive. I want to LIVE”

“Oh Josh, you watch too much news! You need to Deprogram yourself away from political media!”
Yeah… try being in one or more of the groups that are being targeted right now by reactionary media and groups that want us harmed. Try looking out your window and see this isn’t online, this is real life stuff happening across the world. In fact, it’s the inaction and ignorance that has gotten us in this position in the first place. Now we are on the cusp of a very possible dangerous event in history and we are just watching.

What about left wing groups? Well… they’re too busy throwing soup cans at paintings and pretending they know everything about topics and going into puritanical politics too. My god they are so dysfunctional. Can’t get organized and can’t stop these fascists in office. And they’re saying to not vote for Kamala because…. “They’re the same!!!”

Like I said, I don’t have high hopes for Kamala. But you have to be a massive delusional individual to even remotely think the modern gop is the same as neolibs.

After saying all of this, I just sincerely hope Kamala wins. I know this seems like a very silly thing to be depressed about for 4 years but the thought of trump coming back has seriously debilitated my mental health. Every day I think about how I could go to jail for being myself. Every day I think about how if they take over and dismantle everything my life and other’s lives will be basically over and they will create a world I don’t want to be in. Every day I think how it’s all over. I don’t frankly know what to do. All I want to be is an artist who creates things and lives in a polycule and has a jolly life traveling all over and meeting new people and learning new cultures. That’s it. That’s all I want out of life. And apparently that’s evil. I have to work a long shift with no benefits, forced to only marry a wife who may not like me, and be happy with whatever I get; or die.
That’s the American dream right?

Some days, I wish I was in a different world. A faraway land that doesn’t hate me for being myself. Maybe I’d be less depressed. Maybe I’d actually be someone.

So got multiple tests over the past couple days and I have great news (and some slight bad news)

Good news: at the first test I was worried about my platelet levels in my body but with the reoccurring tests those levels and nearly all the other elevated levels have dropped to normal. My legs have also recovered and I feel much better. And was tested for Lyme disease and tests came back negative.

Bad news: Have to watch my liver a bit cause some small changes have happened including elevated Bilirubin so I will keep looking into that. I will be getting another blood test in October

First problem: for the past few weeks I’ve been trying to fix my drawing tablet pen. Sadly no luck. I cannot get the plastic piece out the correct way nor any other method. I went to a tech repair store today and they said they can’t fix. So until I get a new one or figure something out I cannot draw digitally until I do. I still have lots I still need to upload here anyway. Still sucks.

Second problem: my health is been shit all year long and the latest crap is worrying me. My legs are getting tingly, warm, and tired lately and it’s more constant now. If not better by tomorrow I’m going to medical center or even the hospital because I feel awful. In the case things get really serious I may be away a long while again. I should’ve went to the medical center today but they closed already for the day.

So yeah two sucky problems

Finally logged back in again. Sad this site was fucking hacked but at least the hacker is no longer causing problems on here.

This has made me more aware of the need to branch out into other platforms, something I’ve sadly been trying for a while now. Here are other places I am active or plan to be (in exception to 1)

-Bluesky (currently active): https://bsky.app/profile/joshthekat.....oo.bsky.social
-Itaku (plan to be more active): https://itaku.ee/profile/joshthekataroo
-Newgrounds (plan to be more active): https://joshthekataroo.newgrounds.com/
-Twitter (lessening my presence there, and using Bluesky way more, still good to have on hand): @ JoshKataroo
-YouTube: Josh The Kataroo
-Twitch (plan to be more active): josh_the_kataroo

Deep condolences to his family and friends, as well as this huge community on FurAffinity. We all mourn the loss of Dragoneer. May he rest in peace and that he will forever live on in memory in the furry fandom.

Lots of storms are coming next 2 weeks so I may not be as active

This is going to be one of *those* journals. Hopefully not as long but this really needs to be said. Because this doesn’t just affect politics; but your everyday life, arts, livelihoods, fandom, your sexual identity, what you can say and do, and who you associate with. Every aspect of our lives inside the United States and even possibly outside of it too could be in danger, due to an extremist religious conservative think tank of hateful preachers and wealthy elites that Donald Trump enabled and may install into power if Trump wins the presidency again.

Project 25 is an extreme religious movement in government to ban lgbtq from existing (associating everything we do and what we create to “porn” and to ban all porn and all forms of sexual expression and mass arresting queer couples), ban women’s rights and livelihoods (taking away contraception, freedom to divorce and not have a man in life, as well as censoring much of women’s arts and expression as they equate that to “porn” too), rounding up and deportation of recent migrants (wants to end immigration in America and target people living here with deportation, ripping families apart and surveillance on anyone whom they deem as foreign), heavily censoring consumable products, books, media and the internet (again the “everything I don’t like is porn” aspect, but also anything they deem is too critical of a religious state government or anything they deem isn’t patriotic. As well as many science and historical documents and books with challenging ideas and websites that oppose them will be all banned or censored or burned), and forcing religious doctrine on every aspect of life (Forcing the Bible in school, forcing religious doctrine and laws on everyone, forcing violence on anyone who oppose, forcing people with different beliefs and faiths to be either deported or jailed, forcing women to be silent, destroying anything “demonic” in their eyes, and much much more)

And all this… ALL THIS is just *SOME* of what they have planned for America. The document is huge and has even more fucked stuff like ending all medicare/medicade, ending the national weather service, destroying all environmental protections, and possibly giving immunity to every rapist if they are pro-God… apparently

Project 25 is really fucking bad for pretty much everyone who lives in the United States, and outside it too because much of the fallout and politics will spread to Europe and elsewhere cause many of these alt right fascists want this shit global. All this makes the government into a full blown dictatorship, with every freedom you thought you had all gone.

I don’t have to tell you this will effectively end the furry fandom, our art and media we make, the cons we go to, the queer expression and pro kink attitudes, as well as our very own lives depending whether the fascist government intend to murder us too on top of arrests.

Please do not ignore what’s going on. The recent Supreme Court ruling on Trump’s immunity is proof they intend to at the very least make some of this a reality. Even if P25 fails, anything that gets passed from it will be devastating. Even if this doesn’t get passed at all, the way they have full confidently wrote all this means they are not afraid to get violent or dirty, and may try this again in future.

What can we do?
-Talk about it! Educate more that this is going on

-Build a community and organize, try and get connected with others and help them out in case this all goes to shit and the government goes full fascist

-Vote. Vote against all these corrupt fascists in government who aim to make this a reality. Vote in local elections too, as this majorly helps. And finally, vote to make sure Donald Trump DOES NOT get in. By all means they intend to, and arguably already are, advancing P25 without trump at the moment. But they are hinging on the prospect of Trump winning, as they will get away with anything if he wins. Now, I hate Joe Biden, and don’t think he’s the best President and what he’s done overseas is unforgivable, but the fucking grim reality is it’s either Biden or it’s Trump. And frankly, we have way better chances with Biden. So if you don’t want Project 25, at the very least don’t vote trump this November.

I am sorry I’m getting so political on Bluesky and on here, but it’s so fucking important that we know what these deeply evil individuals want to do to our progress, our society, our fandom, and our futures. I do believe fully P25 will fail, collapse, and fizzle out like all fascist movements. What we need to make sure of, is that it doesn’t become another dark bloody event in history, something we will forever remorse about, and teach our children where it all went wrong. Let’s not have another WW2. Let’s stop this in its tracks now before it’s too late.

I mentioned in recent post but I do have this question and want to ask. I wonder why FA doesn’t work like other websites in terms of uploading similar photos. On another website, any traditional art I post will automatically be right side up, just like how I took the picture. But FA decides to flip the images so it’s always horizontal and makes the image wrong. I’m not sure if there is something I need to fix with my camera or this is a site problem. I have found a workaround, albeit it lowers the quality of the photo a bit. Still, I wonder if anyone else had similar problems?

This is a journal I’ve wanted to post for a while. Since 2022 I’ve been posting the majority of art consisting of Pokémon getting sunk. Now this is not every piece, but it’s the majority of my work the past 2 years. Now, I’m not saying I should stop, or that I don’t like what I’m making. I do, it has certainly helped a bit and gain quite a bit and meeting many new folks. Plus the fetish content I make is literally one of my main fetishes. Though that leads me to the main point.. I do have other interests and ideas I wanna pursue.

Since the beginning of posting on here, I’ve been treating the Pokémon and other characters in sinking peril situations as something I do once in a blue moon. That’s not true at all, and right now I’m basically one of *the* Pokémon sinking artists on this site, something that stemmed from taking requests from friends only. I feel like I kinda should live up to that and admit that’s how I’m getting popular. Funny thing is prior to 2023 I was very fuzzy with the Pokémon franchise as a whole; as I only played Blue Rescue team (never finished), watched various fan animations and art online, and watched season 1 of Pokémon as well as some scattered episodes beyond that all the way back in 2008. Lately however I’ve really started to become a fan again on my own and get into it.

Because I have been posting a lot and genuinely liking what I make.. I do worry that I am going to burn out on this kind of art entirely. I don’t want to start disliking what I make, and I don’t want to stop making it, so I think I may start working on more kind of art that isn’t specifically Pokemon in kinky situations, or kinky situations but *different* stuff. Been wanting to draw more experimental concepts and ideas, work on more stories and fiction writing, horror, safe for work stuff, maybe even make a couple of my ideas I’ve been holding onto a reality. I also am challenging myself in making a game this year.

So the main message of this is, once I get done with uploading and finishing drawing the arts, I’ll start working on more art with different concepts and stuff, but not cutting out pokesinking stuff entirely either.

Thanks for listening and I hope to keep sharing great art here and other sites

Finally got around to getting on my laptop where the rest of the art I made is. Though I am having problems with the source files. If you see some get deleted and reuploaded this is why. Also sadly cannot upload all the art cause of the new rules on Poke stuff last year.

Here's my last journal why I was gone 6 months: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10790883

And Here's my new Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/joshthekat.....oo.bsky.social

So if you haven't noticed my return before you definitely did now with the massive influx of art I just posted.... like wow I did not think I would post this much today and I'm not 100% done yet! I'm like 80% done though, I just need to post the rest of my art on my laptop. Some of the art I've made however won't be posted to FA and instead posted to other apps. Also need to post all the stuff I did here elsewhere too... yippeee

But one of the biggest updates is I have a Bluesky now! And since they are officially no longer a closed off app and anyone can join now, you are all able to keep up with updates and such now. Twitter... is really no longer my app to use for such. It's been that way for a while but now it's straight up not worth it to me. Bluesky a lot less toxic and way more of a place to post updates art and such. Not sure if I'll post everything to Bluesky either, but hopefully my major arts I will.

Anyway, more art to come, but will give it a rest now

Before I get into why I left, I’m going to get into a bigger concern that has happened as of late. Due to the fact everyone in office are insane; and the disturbing rise of fascist ideologies and the marginalization of many growing, plus the very chance it will get out of control.. I have no clue if this is just a temporary hello or a permanent goodbye. I have no clue if tomorrow there won’t be an internet or if some day I’ll be arrested for speaking out against tyranny (or even dying) because the people in office no matter if they have a D or an R next to their name have made it clear that there is no freedom, no virtue, and stand on oppression. The lives of women, children, immigrants, the homeless, LGBTQ especially trans folks, and even your entire family and community could be at risk of a rapidly growing mass surveillance state that disguises itself as “freedom” and “safety”.
Saying this I’ll also spread the message of Free Palestine, for the people who live there are facing horrors beyond anything I thought I’d ever see in 2023-2024, millions getting bombarded and displaced and wiped out. Seeing that taking place for months now, as well as what’s happening in Ukraine and Congo are an extreme cause of concern for how the people in power actively are evil. I dunno if I can get deep into the topic because I dunno what words on this site could ban me, but I highly suggest everyone research and see where our tax dollars are going towards.

Well after saying all that, now I’ll say why I’ve been gone from pretty much all social media except for Discord, Twitter, and the new and improved Twitter which is Bluesky. For starters, I have been emotionally and mentally exhausted long before I’ve left. This feeling has been on me since the day I finished high school. A feeling of isolation but also longing to improve but never really feeling like I could get anywhere. I feel so behind but then I see others twice my age in my same position so I really dunno what to make of that. Back in February of last year was when I think the feeling finally just smacked me hard enough it made me just go into my shell, and that was when I broke my arm and subsequently lost my job. Today my arm has not truly recovered, same as with my isolation. I am trying now to speak out and get to know more people but it’s definitely a struggle, being that I really don’t know anyone other than family outside the internet anymore. There are other more personal reasons why my mental health has been shot, and those add up too. Plus everything going on out there making me feel hopeless and hesitant to participate in anything.

The second big reason, is how furry has… a big problem now with purity culture. Purity culture in of itself is a cancer that disguises itself as a progressive and protective cause like kicking out harmful folk who do legitimately awful things, but this pure sentiment grows to become repackaged sexism, homophobic, racist, and straight up untrue claims; and weaponize serious terms and faux outrage against anyone who doesn’t step in line. This is also seen in our government right now, as they have weaponized so many legitimately harmful terms like “groomer” against groups of people who aren’t doing that. They know it’s not true, but they want to hurt the groups they are pointing to. This is similarly what is happening online right now not just with furry but fandom culture in general. The word “groomer” and “z00” get thrown around like those words mean absolutely nothing, as well as demonize anything sexual, body positive, otherkin, fictional, or “weird” and call it “porn addiction” (because you felt bad once for jerking it and now you have victim mentality) as well as repackaged bigot talking points. So why are a lot of furries starting to get this way? It’s complicated but also not really. They don’t want to be perceived as “weird” by others and are afraid of being called out for thinking differently.
There’s a lot more to it but I’ll keep it simple. Many of these people will grow out of this mentality. It sucks right now cause there legit is a wave of purity culture going right now that’s not entirely internalized but also due to literal efforts of politicizing it, but I do predict most people will grow out of this mindset.
Unfortunately a more pressing thing is how it is politicized now. Right now there is a crusade against anything fantasy or LGBTQ in media, perpetuated by bigots and aims to censor the internet entirely as well as make the mere existence of porn and fantasy a crime. I personally think they will fail in their endeavors (as well as having their fascist ideologies collapse and fizzle away) but in the meantime we have to be on edge and fight for freedom and celebrating weirdness. So yeah keep furry weird. Wear that puphood, draw yourself as a monster energy drink sparkle dog with emo hair, create crazy art, and above all don’t let purity mindsets take root in fandom spaces.
Basically after saying all this: the stuff I’ve seen on Twitter is legit exhausting. Made me not want to post any of my art in fear I would suddenly have a bunch of people start yelling at me. After much consideration I feel like I shouldn’t care what people say. I know this phrase has been used by horrid characters out there but it is a legit true phrase: Fiction and fantasy are not reality. Stop listening to the cop in your head and just draw and have fun. That being said there are ways to absolutely abuse that and to hurt real people with, so it’s always important to be careful too. Also before anyone yells at me: reality is not fiction. Consenting adults is a must and hurting people and beyond is not cool in the slightest.

Third thing that made me take a break is simply the rise in AI content ruining the online experience. It’s not just the images anymore it’s literally everywhere and it’s all generated slop that is poisoning the online experience and no matter how much better it gets it still fails as it just copies and reuses from other people and even other Ai. Tech bros are so convinced this will take us to mars and give us so much freedom but really it’s just an instant gratification machine that tries so hard to be a replacement and a cost cutting measure that everything it produces is cheap. Like a knockoff toy or filler text you see in a video game. And the worst part it’s not just taking creative jobs but is expanding into more areas of industry. So probably soon we’re gonna have Ai generated prebuilt houses and Ai generated prepackaged meals. Yum. The government (at least the American government) probably won’t give us a universal income either as more and more are layed off and homeless so the wealth gap will grow even more as inflation grows further.
For me and many others, we will continue to make and follow actual artists and creators. I feel like just shutting away all the art I drew in 2023 is a bad idea and shouldn’t be worried so I should just post again.

So yeah. I apologize for barely posting anything on here and elsewhere. My goal is to start posting all the art I worked on in 2023 and 24 unless something happens like if a war happens or some other major event happens that prevents me from this. My goal for 2024 and beyond is to draw what I want to draw and not let fandom cop or whoever stop that. Some of the best artists ever created during the darkest moments in history, and maybe I can too. I just hope all the rampant hate and violence ends soon, either fizzling away under its own weight or people defying them and not letting go of a picture of a better world. Despite my depression and my low self esteem, I truly do believe in a better world for everyone, where everyone can be happy and healthy and true to themselves. And I think that day may be closer than it appears.
I just want to say, thank you to everyone who reached out and make my life happier, even though I feel like I don’t truly deserve anything good. Hopefully I make all of your lives better and happy too.

Also I missed 4959 arts, 44 faves, 454 journals, and 9 followers watching me. Guess I got a lot of cleaning up to do ._.