From the amazing first line to the last, I'm totally hooked!

Did you notice how the two stories line up wherever they intersected? :)

I think you handled it masterfully. And some of the best action writing I've seen. It's so hard to make it quick and interesting. You've got a Zelazny touch it

Thank you very much! I know the feeling. I try to concentrate on what I feel the audience needs to see, and try and avoid putting in a bunch of things that stretch credibility and make the scene drag on. I like to make it as long as it needs to be. ;)

I really like what you've done with this piece. It's really well written and I was really impressed by how much you were able to do in such a relatively short piece. You've done a really lovely job at not only establishing the reason for the raid on the crystal processing facility, as well as why war between the two factions is pretty much inevitable at this point, but at presenting some really well rounded characters as well. I have to admit to being rather fond of them, especially Kathris, who seemed to be perhaps the most sympathetic of the bunch. The business with his tail being not always completely under his control was quite a nice touch, as well.

I like, too, that you've done so much to make both sides sympathetic, and that neither of them have really been established as Good or Evil. Whatever they might think of each other, it's nice that you've done so much to let the reader be able to see some good in both sides, and I think this chapter has really helped with that for the Ashurians.

Finally, I found it interesting that their respective technologies were so different, and that the Ashurians don't seem to really understand how the crystals work, at least not completely. It will be interesting to see if they can figure that out, and it makes you wonder just what other differences there might be.

Very nicely done!

This is why I love your comments. :) You get me. :) When I came up with the idea, it occurred to me it was possible to tell the story from both sides. Initially I knew I wanted to tell a story about Kathris and one about Chris, but then I asked myself why not do both at once? I have so many characters in this universe that it seemed an ideal opportunity to both explore some more of them as well as fill in blanks in the mythology and at the same time I could explain the causes of the war. After all, early on I'd thought that one of the things that causes conflict is limited resources, and then my thoughts turned to energy. Once there the crystals became the catalyst for the conflict, plus this would necessitate the involvement of most of the other relevant characters, it started to come into focus. When needing a story to tell, I thought, how did the Ashurians find out about them, and what leads to the later war/occupation? The idea of the crystal refinery explained how the Talwyn population gets them, and it seemed the logical flashpoint for the story that the Ashurians would need to find out how they work.

Even in our world I can tell how many things people give away that they don't realize, by their tone, their body language, their hesitation when answering questions, etc.... So this would be only magnified and transferred into furry as well. Cats tails and ears, elephant trunks, they all have minds of their own when we're not thinking about them. You can't hide when your tail poofs out in surprise. ;)

I often find that I enjoy the stories more when it's not blatant which side is 'the bad guy'. In fact, all you need is two sides whose goals conflict. I find it's more believable and interesting when you never know who's the bad guy, or if there even is one. You can't do a shocking reveal if they already know you're evil. :) That, and I try to think that most folks aren't evil, but just because they're working against you doesn't mean they are either. Everyone has their own reasons, and it makes you think more if your enemy isn't a clear cut villain. After all, while in a small case it is that simple, I'd like to think that in most cases eventually we can find a middle ground.

It's long been a part of the mythology that the two sides didn't really intermix, but this also suggests their technology and societies would diverge the longer this went on, until events force them together... :)

Thank you so much!