Let me start off this journal by saying if you are waiting on a story from me, yes I am actively working on it and will be finishing it. THis is just something I'm doing to mostly vent out my pent up frustrations at my own inability to produce content. Don't worry, it won't threaten the quality of your story, and if I ever deliver a product you are not happy with feel free to let me know and we can work something out. That being said, I miss being able to write what I want. Let me explain.

I enjoy writing, I always have enjoyed writing. Even back in high school I lived for just creating and crafting random worlds and ideas that lived in my brain. It was a sort of freedom for me. I had this entire playground that was in my mind that I could build however I wanted. I enjoyed it. I still do like writing, but I feel like part of that freedom has...vanished, ya know. As it stands I have five total stories that I am due to have out. That is no problem. They have taken a while mostly due to the last few months being rocky as hell, with changing jobs in August, the hell that was June and July. I love the concepts that they gave me to write and when I get into a flow, I find myself enjoying it. However, I also feel like I am neglecting a bunch of stuff I've been wanting to do for myself. Back in May I said I wanted to try my hand at YCH's and interactive stories. That was always going to be a plan and something I really wanted to do. Yet, every time I tried to outline the plans, the fact I had other stories to write just took up the creative space. It is like that merry-go-round toy at playgrounds. My brain had filled it up with the comm stories that needed to be done, and every time I wanted to muse or explore something different, the wheel would just toss it aside cause it was already full. And this isn't on the people whose stories I've said I write, it is all on me. I am just worried that the longer I spend on these stories and letting them take up space, the further away my own dreams and content I want to produce will be.

All this being said, I am working my way through all of that to get these stories done. After these, I may re-open commissions but only as YCH's, something where I can craft the idea more to my likes and plotoutlines. Either that, or take time to work on my own stuff before going back to commissions. Only time will really tell. As for right now, I am going to put my head to the grind stone and crank out these stories. They are really some good ideas. One of them involves ghost possession and that is something I've always wanted to play around with. So yeah, just a little mini rant, nothing to worry about. honestly...I feel just a tiny bit better now