FA+
Shop
You Filthy, Dirty, SMUTTY Casual Gamer! (HuniePop review)
4 years ago
Don't do it first. Do it better.
Alternate titles: "Thanks for the Sex, Homie" / "Fuck Bitches, Get Munie" / "Puzzles N Titties"
First, I'll admit: This is kind of awkward. Second, I spend an inordinate amount of time talking about my history with this game here.
I first heard of dating sims in Excel Saga. I didn't think anything of it at the time other than it was another amusing joke. It wasn't until years later that I learned it wasn't something that wacky-ass anime made up, it's real and is a big thing in Japan. My reaction could only be summed up as, "What the fuck?" That opinion hasn't changed too much. As for puzzle games, not my thing; the only games with puzzle elements even sort of like this game's I've played are Tetris and Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine...and I'm bad at both of them. That's right, I've never even played Bejeweled and (still) have no interest in doing so.
I first heard of this game during my regular browsing of the "milf" tag on Danbooru and found this picture (it's mostly safe, but it IS Jessie and I just told you how I found it): https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1805210 . Normally, smoking is fine as a character trait but is a big sexual turn-off for me, and I STILL thought, holy shit, that's a woman who drank a potion of distilled cougar essence. This series she's from, HuniePop, had a name that piques my curiosity, so I checked out the posted images. I was...kind of wowed. Yeah, it's just anime babes but they were so well drawn...and the babes were hot.
And THEN I looked it up on YouTube. Purposely didn't watch much, just a couple of plays of first meeting each of the regular girls and going on first dates with them. And it did something no dating game (other than maybe Katawa Shoujo, which I also haven't played) did before or since: It got me interested...once I got over that the mascot looks and sounds an awful lot like an older version of Madoka Kaname, especially since I'd gotten into Madoka Magica the year before and was still big on it.
I never...actually got around to playing it though. Like I said, dating games, what the fuck's up with that, even if they have sexy pics in them (maybe even moreso if they have sexy pics in them), how lonely and sad do you have to be? The puzzle aspect didn't appeal to me either, as noted previously.
And yet...once in a long while, I'd go back to YouTube and watch the videos I'd watched before. I'd resist the temptation to buy it when I saw it on sale. Finally, I went ahead and bought it, and it still sat in my library unplayed for years more.
At last, maybe five years after I first heard of the game and first got interested in it, I decided I'd waited long enough and started playing it in early February of this year.
It was worth the wait.
It only really does three things, but it does them great, so I'll talk about them in detail one at a time.
1) The Girls
Holy moly. The only other game I can think of that has so many instant waifus is Fire Emblem Awakening and maybe also Genshin Impact. Also one of the main things this game does great? The writing. It may not be deep, and it may be because games like this are made to be played while relaxed or to relax, but the only other games I've played in the last decade that made me laugh this consistently and this hard were Night in the Woods and Undertale. Not many games have made me spit out food from unexpected laughter. Twice. And their voice acting? God damn, they nailed it. What's more, the girls themselves are just so much fun to do more with. Whether you want to develop them as characters or keep it basic and fun like the games, you've got a lot to work with.
2) The Puzzles
Again, like I said, I'm not good at puzzle games and don't really enjoy them, but it's easy to pick up and fun to play. Getting a big combo gives a small but consistent shot of happiness hormone to my brain. Eventually you'll get so good that only being really unlucky with the RNG will cause you to lose, but there were many times I was playing this just to enjoy the puzzle aspect, which I absolutely did not expect.
3) The Presentation
There's basically no animation, but the visuals are pretty nice for still frames. The girls are, frankly, all hot and have some nice outfits, the scenery is pretty, and the special pictures unlocked from progressing (and not even the naughty ones) are just...wow. The music is catchy too and puts me in the mood for whatever location I'm currently at. Despite the simplicity, it sets the atmosphere nicely; in particular, Lusties Nightclub is a jam, Outdoor Lounge is very peaceful, and Your Bedroom is one of the sexiest tunes I've ever heard. There is a brief but noticeable moment between when songs end and when they repeat.
After playing it on GOG, I bought the Steam version just to get achievements because I enjoyed it that much, and much to my surprise, my save data transferred over and gave me most of the achievements I would have gotten retroactively. Not that I wouldn't still get them anyway.
By far the #1 thing that could have improved the game is more interactions between the girls. Each of them has exactly two parts where they talk to one other specific girl, and that's it. These personalities are too fun to not bounce off each other, a problem they definitely addressed in the sequel.
Also, they could really use some more variety in their figures. It's just a casual game, but maybe having options wouldn't be bad. It's hard to ignore that other than changes in height or bust size, it gets rather...generic after a while, speaking as someone who likes more than one body type.
All that said? It helps that the games are so low-maintenance that even a low-end computer from when it came out in 2015 could probably run it no sweat, so if you wanna play it, you probably can. It only does a few things, but it does them quite well. But for God's sake, if you're going to get this game, get it on Steam and download the uncensored patch, because GOG's is censored.
Lock the door and put on headphones, though.
My final score: As an overall game? There's not much to it. But scoring it for what it is and what it tried to be? Pretty much aced it. 9.5/10.
As Kyu said, "thanks for the sex, homie!"
Tips
* The puzzles may not be hard at first, but you're going to eventually want to use at least a bit of big brain energy. Take note that when you make a token match, you don't have to move the token that results in the match. If you move a token, the tokens you slide out of the way also move, and if THAT movement results in a match, you can drop the token you moved anywhere, potentially setting up another good match on your next turn or a combo later. In other words, whenever you see a potential match, take a second to consider how you might move a different token around to make the match better.
** Unless you're in the bedroom, then just match as fast as you can.
* Filling up the girls on food and booze does affect dates: You get more moves and start with more sentiment.
* Check the info of whatever girl you're talking to if you're going to chat them up in case they ask you what you know about them. Yes, you can always just look it up online but I find it funner to challenge myself a bit. I for instance tend to forget their height, weight, and birthday without a quick refresher. And come on, you can't just check your notecards when you're on a date, what kind of boy/girlfriend are you?
* Make Nikki your #1 waifu. She's one of us.
* Audrey may have no redeeming qualities, but she might be the funniest of the girls. Anytime she opened her mouth, I knew I was in for something smile-worthy, if not outright laugh-worthy ("what do you think of girls who don't shave their shit?" and "if I don't get some food right now, I'm gonna punch somebody in the cunt" got me to clean spit off my screen from sudden laughter). Kudos to her voice actor for going all-out on this alpha bitch.
* As the tool tip says, avoid throwing away goldfish during the day, especially outside. You might attract a stray animal. One who can drink anytime, anywhere ;3
* Nikki has a line about seeing some strange shit at night, and she happens to be the only girl you find at night in a certain location. Maybe she's onto something.
First, I'll admit: This is kind of awkward. Second, I spend an inordinate amount of time talking about my history with this game here.
I first heard of dating sims in Excel Saga. I didn't think anything of it at the time other than it was another amusing joke. It wasn't until years later that I learned it wasn't something that wacky-ass anime made up, it's real and is a big thing in Japan. My reaction could only be summed up as, "What the fuck?" That opinion hasn't changed too much. As for puzzle games, not my thing; the only games with puzzle elements even sort of like this game's I've played are Tetris and Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine...and I'm bad at both of them. That's right, I've never even played Bejeweled and (still) have no interest in doing so.
I first heard of this game during my regular browsing of the "milf" tag on Danbooru and found this picture (it's mostly safe, but it IS Jessie and I just told you how I found it): https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1805210 . Normally, smoking is fine as a character trait but is a big sexual turn-off for me, and I STILL thought, holy shit, that's a woman who drank a potion of distilled cougar essence. This series she's from, HuniePop, had a name that piques my curiosity, so I checked out the posted images. I was...kind of wowed. Yeah, it's just anime babes but they were so well drawn...and the babes were hot.
And THEN I looked it up on YouTube. Purposely didn't watch much, just a couple of plays of first meeting each of the regular girls and going on first dates with them. And it did something no dating game (other than maybe Katawa Shoujo, which I also haven't played) did before or since: It got me interested...once I got over that the mascot looks and sounds an awful lot like an older version of Madoka Kaname, especially since I'd gotten into Madoka Magica the year before and was still big on it.
I never...actually got around to playing it though. Like I said, dating games, what the fuck's up with that, even if they have sexy pics in them (maybe even moreso if they have sexy pics in them), how lonely and sad do you have to be? The puzzle aspect didn't appeal to me either, as noted previously.
And yet...once in a long while, I'd go back to YouTube and watch the videos I'd watched before. I'd resist the temptation to buy it when I saw it on sale. Finally, I went ahead and bought it, and it still sat in my library unplayed for years more.
At last, maybe five years after I first heard of the game and first got interested in it, I decided I'd waited long enough and started playing it in early February of this year.
It was worth the wait.
It only really does three things, but it does them great, so I'll talk about them in detail one at a time.
1) The Girls
Holy moly. The only other game I can think of that has so many instant waifus is Fire Emblem Awakening and maybe also Genshin Impact. Also one of the main things this game does great? The writing. It may not be deep, and it may be because games like this are made to be played while relaxed or to relax, but the only other games I've played in the last decade that made me laugh this consistently and this hard were Night in the Woods and Undertale. Not many games have made me spit out food from unexpected laughter. Twice. And their voice acting? God damn, they nailed it. What's more, the girls themselves are just so much fun to do more with. Whether you want to develop them as characters or keep it basic and fun like the games, you've got a lot to work with.
2) The Puzzles
Again, like I said, I'm not good at puzzle games and don't really enjoy them, but it's easy to pick up and fun to play. Getting a big combo gives a small but consistent shot of happiness hormone to my brain. Eventually you'll get so good that only being really unlucky with the RNG will cause you to lose, but there were many times I was playing this just to enjoy the puzzle aspect, which I absolutely did not expect.
3) The Presentation
There's basically no animation, but the visuals are pretty nice for still frames. The girls are, frankly, all hot and have some nice outfits, the scenery is pretty, and the special pictures unlocked from progressing (and not even the naughty ones) are just...wow. The music is catchy too and puts me in the mood for whatever location I'm currently at. Despite the simplicity, it sets the atmosphere nicely; in particular, Lusties Nightclub is a jam, Outdoor Lounge is very peaceful, and Your Bedroom is one of the sexiest tunes I've ever heard. There is a brief but noticeable moment between when songs end and when they repeat.
After playing it on GOG, I bought the Steam version just to get achievements because I enjoyed it that much, and much to my surprise, my save data transferred over and gave me most of the achievements I would have gotten retroactively. Not that I wouldn't still get them anyway.
By far the #1 thing that could have improved the game is more interactions between the girls. Each of them has exactly two parts where they talk to one other specific girl, and that's it. These personalities are too fun to not bounce off each other, a problem they definitely addressed in the sequel.
Also, they could really use some more variety in their figures. It's just a casual game, but maybe having options wouldn't be bad. It's hard to ignore that other than changes in height or bust size, it gets rather...generic after a while, speaking as someone who likes more than one body type.
All that said? It helps that the games are so low-maintenance that even a low-end computer from when it came out in 2015 could probably run it no sweat, so if you wanna play it, you probably can. It only does a few things, but it does them quite well. But for God's sake, if you're going to get this game, get it on Steam and download the uncensored patch, because GOG's is censored.
Lock the door and put on headphones, though.
My final score: As an overall game? There's not much to it. But scoring it for what it is and what it tried to be? Pretty much aced it. 9.5/10.
As Kyu said, "thanks for the sex, homie!"
Tips
* The puzzles may not be hard at first, but you're going to eventually want to use at least a bit of big brain energy. Take note that when you make a token match, you don't have to move the token that results in the match. If you move a token, the tokens you slide out of the way also move, and if THAT movement results in a match, you can drop the token you moved anywhere, potentially setting up another good match on your next turn or a combo later. In other words, whenever you see a potential match, take a second to consider how you might move a different token around to make the match better.
** Unless you're in the bedroom, then just match as fast as you can.
* Filling up the girls on food and booze does affect dates: You get more moves and start with more sentiment.
* Check the info of whatever girl you're talking to if you're going to chat them up in case they ask you what you know about them. Yes, you can always just look it up online but I find it funner to challenge myself a bit. I for instance tend to forget their height, weight, and birthday without a quick refresher. And come on, you can't just check your notecards when you're on a date, what kind of boy/girlfriend are you?
* Make Nikki your #1 waifu. She's one of us.
* Audrey may have no redeeming qualities, but she might be the funniest of the girls. Anytime she opened her mouth, I knew I was in for something smile-worthy, if not outright laugh-worthy ("what do you think of girls who don't shave their shit?" and "if I don't get some food right now, I'm gonna punch somebody in the cunt" got me to clean spit off my screen from sudden laughter). Kudos to her voice actor for going all-out on this alpha bitch.
* As the tool tip says, avoid throwing away goldfish during the day, especially outside. You might attract a stray animal. One who can drink anytime, anywhere ;3
* Nikki has a line about seeing some strange shit at night, and she happens to be the only girl you find at night in a certain location. Maybe she's onto something.
