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My Thoughts & Context
4 years ago
Hey guys, hope you’re all doing well ~
I’ve had a lot going on irl lately again, but I just wanted to take the time to address a few things that have been said recently, clarify where I do or don’t stand on certain topics - more specifically the Trans topic.
And hopefully just in general add some context and clarification to the situation.
So first things first - I do not discriminate against anyone.
I will always refer to anyone by their preferred pronouns, I will always immediately apologise and feel horrendously bad if I get someone’s pronouns wrong. It’s basic courtesy.
Regardless of your race, gender, sex, sexuality, whatever. I do not discriminate.
Never have, never will. If you’re a nice person, you’re a nice person.
I am open to talking about anything and everything, and I am ALWAYS open to having my mind changed - So honestly it was a bit disheartening to see people immediately label me as “phobic” without any attempt at a conversation or at gaining further context.
I am not your average Twitter user.
I don’t really like Twitter. Kind of a noob with it tbf.
I’ll use it sporadically - Mostly to follow local trending topics, to learn more about groups of people, to look at multiple peoples thoughts and opinions. I use it to learn, and to talk to people from all backgrounds.
What I don’t use it for is hashtags.
I can’t fully remember what was trending at the time - I have my twitter set to local so it honestly could’ve been anything. There’s a few slightly concerning things going on where I live to be honest, but it was using the hashtag #OnlyWomenHaveCervixes or something like that.
I remember seeing a lot of talk in whatever was trending at the time that women’s rights in general were transphobic.
I didn’t agree.
I think women’s rights groups have done a lot of good for a lot of different people - male sufferers of domestic violence as just one example. And to write off womens rights as a whole as transphobic? I just didn’t agree.
I don’t agree with the hashtag.
Sex and gender are different.
Trans women are women, trans men are men.
This isn’t an excuse, and I’m only guessing because I really really do not use Twitter very often, so I genuinely don’t know.
I don’t use hashtags, they’re not something I think is very helpful a lot of the time.
It’s not something I’d intentionally sit there and type out is what I’m trying to get across here - So I can only assume that when I made the tweet the page was still on this trending hashtag and it got added without me paying much attention.
Being called a TERF is really confusing when you’re neither a feminist, nor someone who wants to exclude trans people.
I’m a classical liberal. I have respect for the historical significance of feminism, and I respect people's right to talk about their own experiences and express themselves freely.
I’m also a human who has had their own life and lived experiences, and I have thoughts and feelings about things that grow and change all the time.
Nothing has been or will be deleted, I’m down to talk about anything openly and honestly, and I’m always open to having my mind changed and hearing others' viewpoints.
Thanks for reading.
I’ve had a lot going on irl lately again, but I just wanted to take the time to address a few things that have been said recently, clarify where I do or don’t stand on certain topics - more specifically the Trans topic.
And hopefully just in general add some context and clarification to the situation.
So first things first - I do not discriminate against anyone.
I will always refer to anyone by their preferred pronouns, I will always immediately apologise and feel horrendously bad if I get someone’s pronouns wrong. It’s basic courtesy.
Regardless of your race, gender, sex, sexuality, whatever. I do not discriminate.
Never have, never will. If you’re a nice person, you’re a nice person.
I am open to talking about anything and everything, and I am ALWAYS open to having my mind changed - So honestly it was a bit disheartening to see people immediately label me as “phobic” without any attempt at a conversation or at gaining further context.
I am not your average Twitter user.
I don’t really like Twitter. Kind of a noob with it tbf.
I’ll use it sporadically - Mostly to follow local trending topics, to learn more about groups of people, to look at multiple peoples thoughts and opinions. I use it to learn, and to talk to people from all backgrounds.
What I don’t use it for is hashtags.
I can’t fully remember what was trending at the time - I have my twitter set to local so it honestly could’ve been anything. There’s a few slightly concerning things going on where I live to be honest, but it was using the hashtag #OnlyWomenHaveCervixes or something like that.
I remember seeing a lot of talk in whatever was trending at the time that women’s rights in general were transphobic.
I didn’t agree.
I think women’s rights groups have done a lot of good for a lot of different people - male sufferers of domestic violence as just one example. And to write off womens rights as a whole as transphobic? I just didn’t agree.
I don’t agree with the hashtag.
Sex and gender are different.
Trans women are women, trans men are men.
This isn’t an excuse, and I’m only guessing because I really really do not use Twitter very often, so I genuinely don’t know.
I don’t use hashtags, they’re not something I think is very helpful a lot of the time.
It’s not something I’d intentionally sit there and type out is what I’m trying to get across here - So I can only assume that when I made the tweet the page was still on this trending hashtag and it got added without me paying much attention.
Being called a TERF is really confusing when you’re neither a feminist, nor someone who wants to exclude trans people.
I’m a classical liberal. I have respect for the historical significance of feminism, and I respect people's right to talk about their own experiences and express themselves freely.
I’m also a human who has had their own life and lived experiences, and I have thoughts and feelings about things that grow and change all the time.
Nothing has been or will be deleted, I’m down to talk about anything openly and honestly, and I’m always open to having my mind changed and hearing others' viewpoints.
Thanks for reading.
Twitter has become a cesspool of 'he said, she said, now let's burn the witch' kind of place and it is utter ridiculous. People aren't allowed to say anything that doesn't immediately align with someone else's views or make mistakes that will never be allowed to be forgotten.
I like conversations, I like discussion
I've never been a "die hard" type of person for anything really :s
I agree that communities that you thought are so welcoming are nothing but a face for angry comments and backstabbing. I have never had any issues with you personally and have never found you to be phobic at all and I'm saying that as a trans person.
Keep your head up!
Sorry that happened to you. I agree on feminism but not militant feminism and immediate rage when misgendering someone.
A trans-coworker was nice enough to tell me what her gender was since I genuinely couldn't tell their gender and I straight up asked.
That's how more people should be, ignorance is not always malice!
I didn’t even have an opportunity to reply to anyone cause I saw it like a day and a half after the fact and No messages or anything - was mostly just really confused
(and before anyone looking at this journal bitches at me either - i do not agree with the sentiment that people are reading into that original tweet, and my response to getting sent the DMs was - just because you dont agree with everything your friend might believe in doesnt mean they cannot still be considered a friend. you can disagree with someone and still be friends )
I have my own thoughts and feelings on topics, but i dont really object to other people having different opinions on things unless theyre literally being like ''DAMN ______ GROUP OF PEOPLE SHOULD REALLY JUST LIKE DIE" or yknow, something very directly harmful like that.
Otherwise ill just ignore it and stay in my own lane...
I'm not even gonna look into it, though. The word "cesspool" has been said enough times already in the comments here to let you know how I feel about it :I
Trans people aren't saying that women's rights are transphobic, or roaming the women's bathroom like predators en masse, or recruiting innocent children into The Trans Agenda, or whatever homophobic fearmongering recycled as transphobic fearmongering is popular today. Literally all we want is to be respected and accepted for who we are, and not have to worry about getting hate crimed or oppressed by the government. So excuse me if I get a little heated when I see the same exact example of transphobia on the internet for the 513479th time.
There's a lot of worries in your journal that you might be seen as a transphobe or a terf for (gasp) repeating a transphobic hashtag, but instead, I feel like you could consider how your trans friends and followers might feel when they see you repeating this sort of thing to your audience.
I understand where you're coming from, and again I can only repeat that I genuinely am a complete noob with twitter - Hashtags are not my thing at all really - and tbh from what I can remember of what I was seeing at the time, there genuinely was a lot of talk about womens rights as a whole being transphobic and I just didn't think that was necessarily a fair thing to say. It's not an excuse by any means, it's just as much context as I can give.
I also could've gone on to say much much more, and I did want to, but honestly I was more worried the longer I made this post the less people would actually read.
I figured if anyone wanted to talk further it could be in comments or notes or something.
Maybe that was a mistake, maybe I should do a longer form response? I'm not sure :s
I'm not really that worried about people calling me a TERF or a Transphobe? I know that I'm not.
If I was worried about that I'd have deleted shouts etc.
In response to the very last part, again, I do understand what you're saying/where you're coming from and I can agree with that to a large extent - but trans people are also not a monolith of copy-paste people who all think and feel the same way.
I will always be compassionate and kind to people. No matter who they are/how they identify - but even within the trans community there are definitely some areas that not every trans person I've met or spoken to agrees on.
I don't know fully how to word this without it coming across as "i HaVe (x) FrIeNdS" but a lot of the thoughts I have on trans issues today haven't come from a negative place - They've come from me talking to trans people, and have been a reflection of experiences/concerns/worries and conversations that I've had with those trans people for the most part - Whether that's on FA, WoW, Overwatch, Youtube, Twitter, people who I went to school with who have since transitioned.
Without the wider context of lengthy discussions with various people going into detail of their personal and very different lived experiences, yeah some things could look off colour for sure.
But if anyone took the time to talk outside of character limited tweets I'd be more than happy to explain how I got to that view or thought, go into the discussions I've had that brought me to that place etc and go from there, I've always been more than happy to talk to anyone and everyone, hear their stories, take them in etc.