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Wow.
18 years ago
General
Guess what.
I'm in a hotel right now.
Know why?
Because my roommates kicked me out. According to 'her', I'm officially a lying bastard. It follows the trend. Maybe I am a lying bastard, but all this pummeling of what I am and what it means that I am this thing has kind of... i dunno... numbed me...? yeah. I'm numb.
There are a few things I can confess for while I can though:
She claims I went back on my word:
When I moved in, I said I was going to stay until things stabilized. Things didn't stabilize, and now I'm gone. The fact that I betrayed my word... makes me a liar.
She claims I lied about her behind her back:
I'm talking about her right now, aren't I? I could be wrong about things, after all; whether I like it or not, I'm sure my experiences have biassed me somehow. It wasn't particularly pleasent, and I may be as much a monster in her eyes as she has ever been in mine, or more.
She claims I took credit for the final gift of her dying grandmother:
The last thing her grandmother would ever do for her was pay for the car. She did. My ex-roommate's grandmother coughed up 2000.00 cash for the car, and lucy had to forfeit her inheritance for it. I didn't know about that last part--about the inheritance... but I DO remember lucy's grandmother saying "This is the last thing I will ever do for you. You're out of my hands after this. I hope it works out."
I paid for 500 bucks of that car and that's all. I never claimed more than 500. I also set up the purchase between us and the previous owner. That's pocket lint next to what her grandmother did, and if I didn't acknowledge it then, I certainly acknowledge it now.
But that's not the thing that really hurts.
To survive, she must SELL the car now. She's going to have to sell the car, she told me in her own words not three hours ago, the only thing she's ever wanted and the one thing she's hoped for the most in her life and she's going to have to sell it to survive.
She claims my family influenced me to get a job far away from her apartment:
... This one, I won't be touching any further than I have to. This was the ONLY job that contacted me. I didn't choose it over a closer job, it was the ONLY job.
Granted, I am abandoning them. They have a snowflake's chance in a blast furnace of keeping an apartment without my assistance, and I'm leaving them. They're paralyzed and I'm leaving them for dead. I am for all intents and purposes a traitor, if speaking in the strictest technical sense.
So, she kicked me out. the fun part though, was that she CALLED THE POLICE TO DO IT! She wanted them to forcibly remove me from the premesis! But what's AWESOME was, the officer said "... so he hasn't hit you, hasn't cursed at you, hasn't stolen anything from you, and you just want him out? ... how long has he been here?"
"...A couple months" --SHE LIED!! SHE LIED TO HIS FACE!
"Well you can't just kick him out like that. You need to give him a thirty day notice at least; he's been here too long."
"Well, we has a written agreement" --SHE LIED AGAIN!! I DIDN'T SIGN A GODS DAMNED THING!
So then the officer looked at me with the 'so what's your story, kid?' face, and I said, "Listen, if you've got a place where I can sleep tonight, I will GLADLY walk right out that door with you right now. I'm scheduled to move into my new apartment tomorrow and I don't want to have to deal with this shit again. Less than thirty days ago, though, she told me 'to be fair, you have thirty days'."
He shook his head sadly and said, "Sorry, sir; we're not a hotel. but since you have been making an effort to get out of here anyways, I suggest you just call a cab and go to a hotel tonight. It's not worth a domestic court dispute."
So he left, I packed my bags and called a cab. I went to the holiday inn with all i could carry--my clothes in a big black duffel bag and my laptop, practically all I need ~_^ and here I am... Holiday innoffers complimentary internet access on the first night, by the way. And I took a shower. Jesus christ it was the best shower I've ever HAD. the shampoo was lemon merangue scented :D It smelled SOOOOO GOOOOOOD!!! And I came out so refreshed! I felt like I was washing them away, washing all of the bullshit away, the roommates, the drama, the stress... I feel fresh and clean and ready to start a new life. I am so damned ready.
YES! COUNT MY WORDS AS AN AD FOR HOLIDAY INN! It was 92 bucks to stay the night here (after tax) but god dammit if it ain't swank ^^ I don't have to do my own laundry! WOO!
But y'know...
My life is picking up, and if you want to be really cold, you could easily say that I'm 'just cutting off dead weight'... and when you think about how it must feel to be considered dead weight, it's easy to sympathize with lucy and her insatiable wrath. Still... lordy lordy I MUST be a bastard if I'm capable of thinking this shit...
in other news...
I go in for my first day at work on monday. I got approved for my apartment earlier this afternoon. I'm hoping to finish moving into it tomorrow. I have a chance right in front of my face to become a functioning member of society, gods damn me, and I just stepped on someone's face, according to the someone, to get there.
and to add insult to injury... I just ... don't fucking care anymore.
Isn't it great?
I'm in a hotel right now.
Know why?
Because my roommates kicked me out. According to 'her', I'm officially a lying bastard. It follows the trend. Maybe I am a lying bastard, but all this pummeling of what I am and what it means that I am this thing has kind of... i dunno... numbed me...? yeah. I'm numb.
There are a few things I can confess for while I can though:
She claims I went back on my word:
When I moved in, I said I was going to stay until things stabilized. Things didn't stabilize, and now I'm gone. The fact that I betrayed my word... makes me a liar.
She claims I lied about her behind her back:
I'm talking about her right now, aren't I? I could be wrong about things, after all; whether I like it or not, I'm sure my experiences have biassed me somehow. It wasn't particularly pleasent, and I may be as much a monster in her eyes as she has ever been in mine, or more.
She claims I took credit for the final gift of her dying grandmother:
The last thing her grandmother would ever do for her was pay for the car. She did. My ex-roommate's grandmother coughed up 2000.00 cash for the car, and lucy had to forfeit her inheritance for it. I didn't know about that last part--about the inheritance... but I DO remember lucy's grandmother saying "This is the last thing I will ever do for you. You're out of my hands after this. I hope it works out."
I paid for 500 bucks of that car and that's all. I never claimed more than 500. I also set up the purchase between us and the previous owner. That's pocket lint next to what her grandmother did, and if I didn't acknowledge it then, I certainly acknowledge it now.
But that's not the thing that really hurts.
To survive, she must SELL the car now. She's going to have to sell the car, she told me in her own words not three hours ago, the only thing she's ever wanted and the one thing she's hoped for the most in her life and she's going to have to sell it to survive.
She claims my family influenced me to get a job far away from her apartment:
... This one, I won't be touching any further than I have to. This was the ONLY job that contacted me. I didn't choose it over a closer job, it was the ONLY job.
Granted, I am abandoning them. They have a snowflake's chance in a blast furnace of keeping an apartment without my assistance, and I'm leaving them. They're paralyzed and I'm leaving them for dead. I am for all intents and purposes a traitor, if speaking in the strictest technical sense.
So, she kicked me out. the fun part though, was that she CALLED THE POLICE TO DO IT! She wanted them to forcibly remove me from the premesis! But what's AWESOME was, the officer said "... so he hasn't hit you, hasn't cursed at you, hasn't stolen anything from you, and you just want him out? ... how long has he been here?"
"...A couple months" --SHE LIED!! SHE LIED TO HIS FACE!
"Well you can't just kick him out like that. You need to give him a thirty day notice at least; he's been here too long."
"Well, we has a written agreement" --SHE LIED AGAIN!! I DIDN'T SIGN A GODS DAMNED THING!
So then the officer looked at me with the 'so what's your story, kid?' face, and I said, "Listen, if you've got a place where I can sleep tonight, I will GLADLY walk right out that door with you right now. I'm scheduled to move into my new apartment tomorrow and I don't want to have to deal with this shit again. Less than thirty days ago, though, she told me 'to be fair, you have thirty days'."
He shook his head sadly and said, "Sorry, sir; we're not a hotel. but since you have been making an effort to get out of here anyways, I suggest you just call a cab and go to a hotel tonight. It's not worth a domestic court dispute."
So he left, I packed my bags and called a cab. I went to the holiday inn with all i could carry--my clothes in a big black duffel bag and my laptop, practically all I need ~_^ and here I am... Holiday innoffers complimentary internet access on the first night, by the way. And I took a shower. Jesus christ it was the best shower I've ever HAD. the shampoo was lemon merangue scented :D It smelled SOOOOO GOOOOOOD!!! And I came out so refreshed! I felt like I was washing them away, washing all of the bullshit away, the roommates, the drama, the stress... I feel fresh and clean and ready to start a new life. I am so damned ready.
YES! COUNT MY WORDS AS AN AD FOR HOLIDAY INN! It was 92 bucks to stay the night here (after tax) but god dammit if it ain't swank ^^ I don't have to do my own laundry! WOO!
But y'know...
My life is picking up, and if you want to be really cold, you could easily say that I'm 'just cutting off dead weight'... and when you think about how it must feel to be considered dead weight, it's easy to sympathize with lucy and her insatiable wrath. Still... lordy lordy I MUST be a bastard if I'm capable of thinking this shit...
in other news...
I go in for my first day at work on monday. I got approved for my apartment earlier this afternoon. I'm hoping to finish moving into it tomorrow. I have a chance right in front of my face to become a functioning member of society, gods damn me, and I just stepped on someone's face, according to the someone, to get there.
and to add insult to injury... I just ... don't fucking care anymore.
Isn't it great?
DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
DON'T LOOK BACK.
DON'T GIVE HER THE PITY PARTY SHE'S SEARCHING FOR.
There. Said.
And if you're, as you put it, a "bastard" for "thinking this shit", then I must be too. And J-chan. And innumerable other people whom you may or may not know. Did I not give up on Cassandra? My own flesh and blood? If your turning your back on someone who lied about you while you're standing there and who treated you like the moldy orange at the bottom of the crisper drawer makes you a bastard--when you could have justifiably (in some people's minds) raised a voice or a hand in your defense Yet DIDN'T--well, then We ALL Are!!
And I couldn't think of better company.
Kick Ass, Take Names, and
DON'T LOOK BACK.
I'm proud of you.
You are taking a stand for yourself.
You are making your way in the world.
I guess it really doesn't matter if its here (MA) or there (VA), you're doing it, and you're doing it for yourself--and with the natural talent you've already got, you're gonna rock this one.
*hugz*
Now stop thinking about someone who don't deserve your passing thought, and concentrate on what lies ahead.