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Message For Telegram - Taking Leave
4 years ago
General
"It was like two colors existed - deep black and the red of the fire" I can't remember, I don't understand, is it malice that makes you this way?
Carry it with you 'til someone forgives you, I laugh 'cuz there's nothing to say. It's never...good...to see things in your life literally come down to this. It's never good to...struggle...with feeling like you're not good enough.
Friends...followers alike...I've come to face the fact that I have lost my faith in the fandom. I can't believe even I'm saying it. I've been a furry since 2011 and have always been a fan of cartoons, anthropomorphism, and...when I first found the furry fandom, I could feel what I thought was my own heart...flutter...like a new lease on life had refreshed it. It's like that rush of cold as ice water straight to the face after a sweat or exposure to heat.
I came to face this feeling after finding out what it was I had just discovered..."furry"...and realized "Hey, I am furry" after looking at it in a therian's eyes, that I may even embody the spirit of a wolf. I had ties to family that I kept close, I had order when it looked chaotic and I love to my mate now still to the end.
But as we all know, pain exists too. Strange how love and pain sorta entangle themselves together. For years I hurt when trying to find my place. For years I thought that one particular group was my pack to whence I belonged. Nowadays...that feeling has unfortunately changed and I can't say it's changed for the best either.
As I sit here tonight, I've had time all day today to contemplate what's going on...the most time I've had to examine myself and my thoughts and organize things together. As my mate has explained it, in the best way possible...I have simply lost faith. I've lost touch with friends...I've lost interest in meets...I gave up going to what would have been my first big fur con. Something I thought, at one point in my life, would never happen.
In the best kayfabe possible, that I can explain this...This Fucking Sucks.
What does this mean? I'm officially taking an indefinite leave of absence from all major places I tend to reside in. This includes but is not limited to Facebook, YouTube and FA, as well as various other sites within the fandom. I will not be recording or taking pictures unless by chance a big idea comes to mind.
I WILL however be helping my mate with something of hers and after that, that's it.
There is however...one place I am going for sanctuary. One place I'm staying - Telegram.
The one thing I am NOT gonna give up is my connection to this fandom.
I want y'all to know...even as a heel...I still love y'all as though you were my family. I want you all to know that I am here for you and I always will be. I care for you...and I will be here for you in times of need. Should you need a shoulder, you can always rest your head on mine and there will always be a seat...right beside me...and we can talk.
For those that want to stay connected OR for those that want to maybe even connect with me for the first time ever, I will happily share with you my Telegram. I'm almost always active unless I mention otherwise, and if so, know that I will always come back to you even if it's sometime later. I will reply back. Send me a note on here and I'll be happy to share you my Telegram ID.
It's never good to see things come to this...no one should have to struggle...but I'm doing this to give myself a chance in another way to get back into the fandom.
I love y'all...and I really hope to get better and get over this really really soon.
-Shadow
Friends...followers alike...I've come to face the fact that I have lost my faith in the fandom. I can't believe even I'm saying it. I've been a furry since 2011 and have always been a fan of cartoons, anthropomorphism, and...when I first found the furry fandom, I could feel what I thought was my own heart...flutter...like a new lease on life had refreshed it. It's like that rush of cold as ice water straight to the face after a sweat or exposure to heat.
I came to face this feeling after finding out what it was I had just discovered..."furry"...and realized "Hey, I am furry" after looking at it in a therian's eyes, that I may even embody the spirit of a wolf. I had ties to family that I kept close, I had order when it looked chaotic and I love to my mate now still to the end.
But as we all know, pain exists too. Strange how love and pain sorta entangle themselves together. For years I hurt when trying to find my place. For years I thought that one particular group was my pack to whence I belonged. Nowadays...that feeling has unfortunately changed and I can't say it's changed for the best either.
As I sit here tonight, I've had time all day today to contemplate what's going on...the most time I've had to examine myself and my thoughts and organize things together. As my mate has explained it, in the best way possible...I have simply lost faith. I've lost touch with friends...I've lost interest in meets...I gave up going to what would have been my first big fur con. Something I thought, at one point in my life, would never happen.
In the best kayfabe possible, that I can explain this...This Fucking Sucks.
What does this mean? I'm officially taking an indefinite leave of absence from all major places I tend to reside in. This includes but is not limited to Facebook, YouTube and FA, as well as various other sites within the fandom. I will not be recording or taking pictures unless by chance a big idea comes to mind.
I WILL however be helping my mate with something of hers and after that, that's it.
There is however...one place I am going for sanctuary. One place I'm staying - Telegram.
The one thing I am NOT gonna give up is my connection to this fandom.
I want y'all to know...even as a heel...I still love y'all as though you were my family. I want you all to know that I am here for you and I always will be. I care for you...and I will be here for you in times of need. Should you need a shoulder, you can always rest your head on mine and there will always be a seat...right beside me...and we can talk.
For those that want to stay connected OR for those that want to maybe even connect with me for the first time ever, I will happily share with you my Telegram. I'm almost always active unless I mention otherwise, and if so, know that I will always come back to you even if it's sometime later. I will reply back. Send me a note on here and I'll be happy to share you my Telegram ID.
It's never good to see things come to this...no one should have to struggle...but I'm doing this to give myself a chance in another way to get back into the fandom.
I love y'all...and I really hope to get better and get over this really really soon.
-Shadow
