Just not doing so good lately, not sure what else to say about it. Been feeling unmotivated and even gaming has been bland. Even though this is going on I was able to clean up a bit today around my house, until I started cleaning up my room. I found where I put my old beanie and broke down because it's the same one my late cat Cleo use to sleep on, and I still blame myself for... having to put her to rest. I didn't know what to do at the time and she just sort of withered away within a month. I should have done something, but I didn't realize until it was too late. I ended up crying for a few hours thinking about her and a few other things.

I realized that I don't talk to anyone besides my cats anymore ever since I had a falling out with my sort of last friend back in July. So, I've been feeling really lonely lately but I'm not sure how to go about fixing it. I hang out in VRchat sometimes, but I feel like I never have anything to say, or I freeze up when talking to people. I try to fit in with what's happening, but I never know what's being talking about anymore. I feel so out of place that I've just put it down for a while. I'll probably get back to it sometime later, but I'm just burnt right now. I'm always burnt tbh. All I end up doing it flipping through my list of games or sleeping because I'm so tired every day.

I've been trying to stream more often at least, but I'm running into the problem with not being in the mood to do anything. I just stare at my screen or pace around my house. I try to sit down and draw but I feel so overwhelmed with nothing that it's hard to do.

I don't know what else to put, I'm just so tired.