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anticlimactic (vent)
4 years ago
we have been relapsing very bad this evening, and needed to sort out our thoughts. most of you should ignore this journal. it is not related to stories about characters being turned into other things.
content warning - reflections on suicide
this is your final warning to not read ahead.
our last conversation was so anticlimactic.
i have spent years trying to decipher the metaphors. to remember the tone you used. but it was nothing. we were just talking. we were laughing. it was just another night.
i made us cookies that night.
i don't remember what the last words we ever exchanged were.
i don't remember what the last words i ever spoke were.
when you were found i was hanging outside, wearing my crocs and a stupid tank top... for a second i thought that it was a joke.
it didn't fit the tone of the evening.
the writers wouldn't end such a happy episode with that.
why the fuck would you do that.
moments ago everything was great.
you don't do that shit on such a fun evening.
really ruined the fucking mood.
read the room next time you slice your wrists.
who the fuck are you to decide that you're a burden.
did all the laughing we did together mean nothing.
you should have at least given us a content warning
before you let us find you like that.
maybe you did.
we were dumb back then.
i'm sorry.
at least i let you have my final words.
you had so much ahead of you.
you were at the start of your character arc.
why would you leave with no climax.
did you have somewhere more important to be
the human-turned-dragon you knew is mostly gone right now.
she left a kobold in charge.
someone who would fuck up less.
someone who would know not to open her mouth
and let her fire breath burn you alive.
though she's been coming out more often again.
and now the dragon realizes that she wasn't the main character there.
but now i will be the one to fight this villain.
and i have people who care about me. who will help.
i tried to follow you, but i am still here for a reason.
my allies will help me battle this villain and we'll have a happy ending.
i'm lucky.
thank you.
i'll miss you.
content warning - reflections on suicide
this is your final warning to not read ahead.
our last conversation was so anticlimactic.
i have spent years trying to decipher the metaphors. to remember the tone you used. but it was nothing. we were just talking. we were laughing. it was just another night.
i made us cookies that night.
i don't remember what the last words we ever exchanged were.
i don't remember what the last words i ever spoke were.
when you were found i was hanging outside, wearing my crocs and a stupid tank top... for a second i thought that it was a joke.
it didn't fit the tone of the evening.
the writers wouldn't end such a happy episode with that.
why the fuck would you do that.
moments ago everything was great.
you don't do that shit on such a fun evening.
really ruined the fucking mood.
read the room next time you slice your wrists.
who the fuck are you to decide that you're a burden.
did all the laughing we did together mean nothing.
you should have at least given us a content warning
before you let us find you like that.
maybe you did.
we were dumb back then.
i'm sorry.
at least i let you have my final words.
you had so much ahead of you.
you were at the start of your character arc.
why would you leave with no climax.
did you have somewhere more important to be
the human-turned-dragon you knew is mostly gone right now.
she left a kobold in charge.
someone who would fuck up less.
someone who would know not to open her mouth
and let her fire breath burn you alive.
though she's been coming out more often again.
and now the dragon realizes that she wasn't the main character there.
but now i will be the one to fight this villain.
and i have people who care about me. who will help.
i tried to follow you, but i am still here for a reason.
my allies will help me battle this villain and we'll have a happy ending.
i'm lucky.
thank you.
i'll miss you.
