I am taking a break. Truth is I have a lot going on mentally and need time away.

I have a hard time getting up and doing anything. I have no motivation, everyday I lay in bed for hours. I don't take care of myself anymore. I hardly get up to eat, drink, or shower. I feel like a burden to my boyfriend, he has to remind me to take care of myself 24/7. He's a wonderful guy he shouldn't have to worry about me.

This time of year is particularly hard for me due to multiple past experiences. On December 23, 2017 my family home I had been living in my whole life was sold out from under us. We weren't even told the house was on the market. Christmas Eve, 2019 my aunt Lin passed away suddenly. She had been sick but seemed to be getting better then they found her in her bed that day. Last year around December my dad lost his job due to Covid19. It was such a stressful time, money was always a worry. I felt really bad for my parents because raising 3 kids on nothing but unemployment was a nightmare.

I'm also currently under a lot of stress from my family. I will be 18 soon and I'm not ready. I still don't know how to drive and have no real work experience. My family keeps pressuring me to do these things without trying to provide me with any help. I'm terrified to drive or work with other people. I'm also scared I wont be able to handle doing school and working at the same time.