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*Deeeep Breath*
3 years ago
THE FOLLOWING IS A LONG-WINDED RAMBLE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Hey everyone, it's 2022.
Like a lotta people, 2021...well it wasn't a dumpster fire like 2020; more like a smouldering wreckage. I tried like heck to improve things for myself ,but I've had problems on and off with depression and seeing bad news everywhere I turned didn't help. So, there I was, stuck in a muddle, just going from day to day, not having the energy to put much effort into things.
And then, the Christmas Spirit saved me.
I remember it clearly. It was December 24th, and I was eating a fresh-made breakfast sandwich by the counter. Someone -- a 60-something year young gentleman -- walked in to pick up an order. It was then my attention was drawn to his feet. Specifically, his shoes; his left shoe was a bright candy-apple red and his left shoe a bright, almost neon green -- right down to the laces.
I couldn't help it. I started laughing. To which this puckish person smiled at me, tipped his baseball cap, and continued about his business. It was then that I realized: when was the last DAMNED time I laughed at anything? I mean, laughed at the JOY of something?
I realized it had indeed been a while. But rather than get depressed about it I thought to myself: why???
Was it because it wasn't appropriate?
Was it because I didn't want to be offensive?
Was it because the 24-Hour news machine kept telling me how miserable things were?
Was it because I couldn't critique Trump in public because his followers are psychotic nutjobs?
Was it because I couldn't critique diversity because I'm white?
No. It was because I let myself buy into the fear. The fear that we are now told we must EMBRACE because well, the world is a scary place. And you know what?
FUCK. THAT. NOISE.
All you need to survive, to thrive in life is to Be Polite. To GIVE a damn that you are leaving a situation better than you found it. To laugh at humor, not at someone getting upset over something a black, failed comedian is saying. To take joy in someone winning, not at someone losing. To smile at someone else's smile, not at their tears or frown.
And above all? To work FOR something; not just fight against it.
I've been spending the last seven days thinking about this. I've still got my depression but this time I'm forcing myself to acknowledge it, forcing myself to move on. It is NOT easy, and to my fellow sufferer, DON'T ANYONE EVER FUCKING TELL YOU IT IS. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I have to tell myself I can do it every day.
What works for me is to find something that makes me laugh or lets me have fun. Anything that stands in my way of that...well, it can go bother someone else.
To this end I make a solemn vow to STAY AWAY from Facebook and Twitter ENTIRELY. They are too toxic -- by the intention of their creators -- for me to deal with. Next, I'm sticking with NPR for national news; I don't need to know what someone's doing in Poughkipsee.
I'm also getting back into writing, because I miss it and I'm tired of allowing myself to fail at it. So basically, I play on starting an account here and other places where I hone my writing skills and collect commissions celebrating those works.
Are some of those works going to be furry-related? Yeah, yeah they will. Are some of them going to be conjoinment-related? Yeah, yeah they will.
I will post the deets on this site when I develop them. But first, I wish to develop them.
In closing, let me introduce myself: Hi. On this site I'm Doctor Mercurious. I'm a white, straight male. My dad was thrown out of a diner once because he was too dark, and my sister was told to 'go back to where she came from' because some close-minded idiots thought she was from the middle-east. My great-uncle saw Mussolini hanging in the square. I have an adopted niece I haven't seen (my choice) because it was too much trauma for her; she's better now. My very best friend saved me from committing suicide and and I never told them. I have been falsely accused of rape. I desperately want to hug people and tell them 'I know where you're coming from'.
I've been called many things. But my real name...is Nick.
Nice to meet you.
Hey everyone, it's 2022.
Like a lotta people, 2021...well it wasn't a dumpster fire like 2020; more like a smouldering wreckage. I tried like heck to improve things for myself ,but I've had problems on and off with depression and seeing bad news everywhere I turned didn't help. So, there I was, stuck in a muddle, just going from day to day, not having the energy to put much effort into things.
And then, the Christmas Spirit saved me.
I remember it clearly. It was December 24th, and I was eating a fresh-made breakfast sandwich by the counter. Someone -- a 60-something year young gentleman -- walked in to pick up an order. It was then my attention was drawn to his feet. Specifically, his shoes; his left shoe was a bright candy-apple red and his left shoe a bright, almost neon green -- right down to the laces.
I couldn't help it. I started laughing. To which this puckish person smiled at me, tipped his baseball cap, and continued about his business. It was then that I realized: when was the last DAMNED time I laughed at anything? I mean, laughed at the JOY of something?
I realized it had indeed been a while. But rather than get depressed about it I thought to myself: why???
Was it because it wasn't appropriate?
Was it because I didn't want to be offensive?
Was it because the 24-Hour news machine kept telling me how miserable things were?
Was it because I couldn't critique Trump in public because his followers are psychotic nutjobs?
Was it because I couldn't critique diversity because I'm white?
No. It was because I let myself buy into the fear. The fear that we are now told we must EMBRACE because well, the world is a scary place. And you know what?
FUCK. THAT. NOISE.
All you need to survive, to thrive in life is to Be Polite. To GIVE a damn that you are leaving a situation better than you found it. To laugh at humor, not at someone getting upset over something a black, failed comedian is saying. To take joy in someone winning, not at someone losing. To smile at someone else's smile, not at their tears or frown.
And above all? To work FOR something; not just fight against it.
I've been spending the last seven days thinking about this. I've still got my depression but this time I'm forcing myself to acknowledge it, forcing myself to move on. It is NOT easy, and to my fellow sufferer, DON'T ANYONE EVER FUCKING TELL YOU IT IS. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I have to tell myself I can do it every day.
What works for me is to find something that makes me laugh or lets me have fun. Anything that stands in my way of that...well, it can go bother someone else.
To this end I make a solemn vow to STAY AWAY from Facebook and Twitter ENTIRELY. They are too toxic -- by the intention of their creators -- for me to deal with. Next, I'm sticking with NPR for national news; I don't need to know what someone's doing in Poughkipsee.
I'm also getting back into writing, because I miss it and I'm tired of allowing myself to fail at it. So basically, I play on starting an account here and other places where I hone my writing skills and collect commissions celebrating those works.
Are some of those works going to be furry-related? Yeah, yeah they will. Are some of them going to be conjoinment-related? Yeah, yeah they will.
I will post the deets on this site when I develop them. But first, I wish to develop them.
In closing, let me introduce myself: Hi. On this site I'm Doctor Mercurious. I'm a white, straight male. My dad was thrown out of a diner once because he was too dark, and my sister was told to 'go back to where she came from' because some close-minded idiots thought she was from the middle-east. My great-uncle saw Mussolini hanging in the square. I have an adopted niece I haven't seen (my choice) because it was too much trauma for her; she's better now. My very best friend saved me from committing suicide and and I never told them. I have been falsely accused of rape. I desperately want to hug people and tell them 'I know where you're coming from'.
I've been called many things. But my real name...is Nick.
Nice to meet you.
Again, welcome back.
But some do. And that makes all the difference.
Welcome back, Dr Merc-Nickous! :}===<
*hugs back, all the same, despite his surprise at the title*
I am off of Twitter, and only use facebook for the odd communication. I want the story of my life to belong to me, not some algorithm that analyzes my essence to steer advertisements my way.
Unquestioning fear... yeah, that's not a good thing to always live under.
I hope you find opportunities to thrive in this next year!
really look forward to the future writings you're going to make, i believe i've already seen some of your older stuff while trying to scourge the internet for any conjoinment that exists lol
You say Facebook and twitter are intentionally toxic and this is true. Heated debates count as engagement, and so long as people are engaged these sites are collecting ad revenue. They have a financial incentive to encourage arguments!
Turn that shit off!
As for chat sites, I'm currently poking at TickTock.
It's nice to see the little quirky things in real life every now and then. Even maybe compliment them too.