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So it's been a while isn't it?
3 years ago
Valerie/Valfreyja/Brynhilðr: So yeah, I've disappeared for a while.
It's a pretty unfortunate thing, but I've been dealing with a lot of things one after another from the beginning of 2019 till the end of 2021, and coupled with burnout, it's been hard to to be more social outside of my own close friend and family circles. One of the biggest factor was in one of my former friends who have treated me pretty poorly, exploited me as an artist and twisted my arm several times to undercharge myself, while constantly negging my personal growth as "overly political." After a while, he and I argued over the mask and lockdown mandates, and have decided that he's a toxic influence in my life, and cut him out as a result. Considering that he had wished that I lost my job that I got a couple of years ago, and got laid off after a week from, so he could have me all to himself as a personal supply of emotional labour, it is one of the better decisions I've made. I am still recovering from the burnout effects from his abusive tendencies.
The rest of 2019 had been rough too, there has been quite a few connections I have lost as a result of having escaped the alt-right furry cults back in 2018. These were former friends that I had tried and failed (mostly) to shepherd out of those toxic places, and it had been a source of a lot of recent trauma that I am still dealing with. On the plus side, that was when I discovered that I am non-binary, and also plural.
I didn't remember much of 2020. That year didn't have much happening for us uniquely considering that everything have been obscured by the trauma of the rise of COVID-19. I did move with my bio-family to a new apartment where we are staying currently. I also released a new mini-album on March that year. On July, I discovered a new alter within me who apparently split following the trauma that happened in 2018 that got us to escape from those alt-right furry cults. Her name is Julayla, you may notice that my profile page has been updated to reflect their identity, more on that later. Speaking of which...
Julayla: Hi there, my name is Ismene Julayla Tovah Grimaude, and I am the current host of this plural system. I was created a decade ago as a traumagenic split due to dysphoric distress, but later merged back into Val when we started to transition back in 2015, and up until mid-2018, I stayed dormant. Mid-2018 I split from Val due to internal conflict and trauma, and was sealed away until July 2020. When I emerged again, I started to heal from the brainwashing and trauma I suffered during 2015-2018, and started to figure out who I am. Unfortunately, I ended up disappearing for a few months following a betrayal from someone who we once saw as an adoptive brother to our found family and only really emerged at the end of the year.
2021 has been.....a hectic year. At the beginning, of the year me and Val grew close and we started becoming intimate partners. Yes, a relationship with a headmate, it happens. I also got roped into creating a track for the Year 3 Furry Music Anthology album (Track 14) by the friends I've made at the beginning of that year. That album was meant to raise funds for the Trevor Project, so that was a pretty big accomplishment. I've also participated in a GameJam on July that lead to the creation of a rough build of an RPG Maker game I'd like to polish later on. As a result of all of this, I've ended up exploring my own non-humanity, our spirituality as an animist, and our gender as also non-binary. I've also ended up being a part and closer member of a friend group for nonhumanity, a plural support group, and a handful of RPG Maker/Indie game dev communities. Another thing that happened is in May where a new alter, Alyssa 'Illteny' Ephraim had appeared and asserted themself in our headspace, and I ended up becoming the new system host.
It's been a long time coming as Val had been in dire need of a break from life for the longest time, and felt that I was a good fit. Another reason was that we also suffered from two more very traumatic events where we lost people we thought we could trust to their abusive tendencies, one of which had caused val to fracture and separate into 3 alters. Val's gotten better eventually, but like, they decided to stay separate but integrated, instead of merging like last time. They also ended up discovering that they are more specifically a femmeflux bigenderfluid fae, and have come to terms with their masculine side. Then at the end of the year, we discovered that we most likely are manic-depressive and have been for the longest time.
I think all in all, this year has been the year where the most changes, trauma, and growth had happened to us. Let 2022 be the year of healing. I think I'll be uploading backlogged artwork shortly after posting this, so stay tuned.
Posted using PostyBirb
It's a pretty unfortunate thing, but I've been dealing with a lot of things one after another from the beginning of 2019 till the end of 2021, and coupled with burnout, it's been hard to to be more social outside of my own close friend and family circles. One of the biggest factor was in one of my former friends who have treated me pretty poorly, exploited me as an artist and twisted my arm several times to undercharge myself, while constantly negging my personal growth as "overly political." After a while, he and I argued over the mask and lockdown mandates, and have decided that he's a toxic influence in my life, and cut him out as a result. Considering that he had wished that I lost my job that I got a couple of years ago, and got laid off after a week from, so he could have me all to himself as a personal supply of emotional labour, it is one of the better decisions I've made. I am still recovering from the burnout effects from his abusive tendencies.
The rest of 2019 had been rough too, there has been quite a few connections I have lost as a result of having escaped the alt-right furry cults back in 2018. These were former friends that I had tried and failed (mostly) to shepherd out of those toxic places, and it had been a source of a lot of recent trauma that I am still dealing with. On the plus side, that was when I discovered that I am non-binary, and also plural.
I didn't remember much of 2020. That year didn't have much happening for us uniquely considering that everything have been obscured by the trauma of the rise of COVID-19. I did move with my bio-family to a new apartment where we are staying currently. I also released a new mini-album on March that year. On July, I discovered a new alter within me who apparently split following the trauma that happened in 2018 that got us to escape from those alt-right furry cults. Her name is Julayla, you may notice that my profile page has been updated to reflect their identity, more on that later. Speaking of which...
Julayla: Hi there, my name is Ismene Julayla Tovah Grimaude, and I am the current host of this plural system. I was created a decade ago as a traumagenic split due to dysphoric distress, but later merged back into Val when we started to transition back in 2015, and up until mid-2018, I stayed dormant. Mid-2018 I split from Val due to internal conflict and trauma, and was sealed away until July 2020. When I emerged again, I started to heal from the brainwashing and trauma I suffered during 2015-2018, and started to figure out who I am. Unfortunately, I ended up disappearing for a few months following a betrayal from someone who we once saw as an adoptive brother to our found family and only really emerged at the end of the year.
2021 has been.....a hectic year. At the beginning, of the year me and Val grew close and we started becoming intimate partners. Yes, a relationship with a headmate, it happens. I also got roped into creating a track for the Year 3 Furry Music Anthology album (Track 14) by the friends I've made at the beginning of that year. That album was meant to raise funds for the Trevor Project, so that was a pretty big accomplishment. I've also participated in a GameJam on July that lead to the creation of a rough build of an RPG Maker game I'd like to polish later on. As a result of all of this, I've ended up exploring my own non-humanity, our spirituality as an animist, and our gender as also non-binary. I've also ended up being a part and closer member of a friend group for nonhumanity, a plural support group, and a handful of RPG Maker/Indie game dev communities. Another thing that happened is in May where a new alter, Alyssa 'Illteny' Ephraim had appeared and asserted themself in our headspace, and I ended up becoming the new system host.
It's been a long time coming as Val had been in dire need of a break from life for the longest time, and felt that I was a good fit. Another reason was that we also suffered from two more very traumatic events where we lost people we thought we could trust to their abusive tendencies, one of which had caused val to fracture and separate into 3 alters. Val's gotten better eventually, but like, they decided to stay separate but integrated, instead of merging like last time. They also ended up discovering that they are more specifically a femmeflux bigenderfluid fae, and have come to terms with their masculine side. Then at the end of the year, we discovered that we most likely are manic-depressive and have been for the longest time.
I think all in all, this year has been the year where the most changes, trauma, and growth had happened to us. Let 2022 be the year of healing. I think I'll be uploading backlogged artwork shortly after posting this, so stay tuned.
Posted using PostyBirb
Idk what else to say, I'm burned out of good stuff to say myself, and anything else is meaningless off-topic small talk and such, so yeah (hugz) hope it goes well for you <3 <3
- Xi Yao
I'm not going to comment on the events you described, mostly because i don't know the other people you are referring to there, and as such don't have enough grounds to form a solid opinion on. To me it would merely be hearsay - and thus not good enough to pass judgement on someone's character or intention. Yes, I acknowledge that in today's society this means i may well be in the minority, but so what? There's a reason why i am only very rarely interacting with people - let alone get involved emotionally.
Either way, it is nice to see you back around here.
Do I approve of what was done to you? No. But is it within my power to undo it? Also no. All I can do is try and help you move on from where you are right now.
Say, your point of view is very moderate!
Afraid of consequences of defending minorities, are ya? ;D
Your weakness in identifying the people who do not have your best intentions in mind - will get your so-called friends killed! Your willingness to defend your altright friends - but not your minority friends - truly is something else! In fact, I'd say your immediate moderate stance in reaction to a supposed friend's vague and brief explanation of events is pure-evil! >:D
Gee, she didn't even say much of anything to identify anyone beyond 'altright'!
We need more people like you in the world - people who think they're good guys! They're the best villains! The highest body counts! And completely oblivious to it! Hahahahaha
No one asked you to. ;D
"To me it would merely be hearsay - and thus not good enough to pass judgement on someone's character or intention."
Okay, who was mentioned for this to require 'character' judgement?
"Yes, I acknowledge that in today's society this means i may well be in the minority, but so what? "
You can go ahead and squeeze the most rancid horse shit from your lips trying to cover your ass, but people see you. We know what you're doing. You're not fooling anyone. :}
In fact, you and me both know this is the only attention you're going to get in a long while! Enjoy it while it lasts, killer! >:D
You're such a good guy! Hahahaha
At no point in my testimony did I speak up prescriptively on what should be done to them, nor did I precisely define a person in particular. I pretty much said that altfurry, the raiders and shitty friends fucked me, and that's bad.
You're jumping at shadows, and showing your ass. What is your endgame here?
Yes, I have good reason to be wary of manipulative people. I have encountered plenty throughout my life so far - which is why my emotional reaction is as muted as it is. And it is also why I am not prone to blind outrage. Even so, I am not without compassion - but the limited way in which I can offer it apparently is not enough for you it seems. And if instead you want to lump yourself in with the manipulative folks I mentioned, then that is your choice to make - not mine.
This ain't my first rodeo. If you're trying to say something, just say it. I would rather you be direct than coat your words with the sickening shallow layers of saccharine plattitudes. If there's anything my struggles have taught me, integrity matters far more than politeness.
For the record, I passed your comments around friends and family to make sure I am not alone in thinking that it was pretty perfidious.
Like, gee, if you think my story is unreliable or untrustworthy, or whatever you're insinuating, just come out and say it. There's no need to try to gaslight me into questioning the reality of my own experiences for your own comfort and "good guy points" and then play the victim when it doesn't stick.
You're so full of shit it's coming out of your eyes! No one believes you! I think you're hiding something, good guy! Killer! >:D
If you actually were trying to communicate anything useful, you'd have done so by now. Take the fuckin' L, accept you said something rude and impolite, and then fuck off and leave us all alone, please.