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New Year, New Things (And a year in review)
4 years ago
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The Hefty 'Bre has something to say!
A little late on this, but 2021 is FINALLY over and done with. It's good to be out of that hellish year I've endured. Then again, I wouldn't say it was a complete hell hole of a year, but some spots definitely felt that way to me. If I didn't have people to talk to online, and I'm being real with this, I very likely wouldn't be the same man I am today or...I'd probably not be here at all. There were points where I did have those thoughts, but I pushed on past it despite those coming up every once in a blue moon. Besides, I promised myself never to do it, but that's getting a bit too deep into my thoughts right there. What happened in 2021?
2021: Year in Review
January wasn't an easy start with crap going on with my step father, Chuck "the Fuck", as I personally call him in my head or chat about him with friends. I didn't sleep well going into New Years Day after mom woke me up to tell me how he planned to start charging me $300 a month if I didn't have plans to go to college or, get this, go to work. I later told him I was still going to college and that work hadn't reopened cause of you-know-what screwing up the whole world. So no rent charges there, but as the month was nearly over with, the man was massively pissed at me for not filling up a tire with air or for not knowing there was a hole in my tire. By the way, said tire was meant to be new and my parents took my car to a auto shop nearby to finally get me new tires for my car, so for him to be pissed at me for one of the tires already being flat is all on him, but he kept pushing this all on me. This made my weekend a nightmare as I dealt with him being extremely aggressive towards me, yelling at me often and to my mother. Even took out our wifi cause of his behavior. And at the end of the weekend, he comes back from work and is still pissed, but already cracked open a beer, having mom come get me to talk to him. How did that conversation go? Well, he belittles me for my behavior, including making them wait on New Years Eve for them to go celebrate at another bar, and furthermore on the tire situation. I felt extremely uncomfortable around him and couldn't say much to defend myself. I tried getting away, but then he rose my voice at me until it got to a question as I reached my bedroom door: "Why don't you go live with your dad?" I had many reasons, but I only got one out of my mouth - "He doesn't have wifi" - and then Chuck literally walks away from the staircase, saying out loud with his arms raised that I proved him right. And what happened next? I had a mental meltdown, kicked my own solid wood door to the point where it couldn't close right till it was fixed, and cried in my room. And then the asshole asks if I want a hug from him, but mom got both him and her out of my room. It took me 1-2 hours to calm down. The start of this year was complete shit and things weren't looking too great beyond that.
February to May, I had to deal with college and my job at the theater being reopened yet again. Given the amount of help an usher like me gets - which is hardly at all - it was a struggle to keep up with stuff on the job along with getting several tasks to do and much more than any other position on the job. And cleaning shows were a hassle since we had to spray seats, put new tape on them whenever to say they're either clean or not able to be used, and pick up garbage on top of all of it. But the worst part is that there would be only 1-2 ushers on at a time to do any of this for a good long while. This especially came ahead when June hit and Fast & Furious 9 came out. On one Tuesday, it was another usher and I cleaning shows after a new guy had a very short first shift. Because of it being only the two of us, it was hell to clean shows and no one offered help till it was 15 minutes before the 2 of us needed to leave...only to stay an hour longer and see how management fucked me over on next week's schedule. Because of that one shift alone, I grew tired of my job for a while and blew off 2 shifts straight. I tried finding a new job with what remained of summer, but no dice. But I was thankful I was able to cut back on how many days I worked once the new and final semester of college hit...but you all know how that went by now.
To be short, college this semester was a nightmare from how I had 2/3 classes be online, hard to follow in most places, and dealing with one teacher being lazy at her job. It was a ton of emotional baggage to carry throughout this semester, but it's over with. I need to wait for my diploma to come by the end of this Spring semester and I'll at least have an Associates of Arts. Something I neglected to mention were 2 critical events from this year that drastically affected me: The death of Angel and Grandpa Frank. Angel, my last childhood pet that lived at my dad's place, ended up slowly dying in his home and I was there to see it most of it happen. We were meant to get her to a vet, but she died in my dad's arms. As if it weren't bad enough, my Grandpa Frank had to go to the hospital during the year and was bed ridden after he stopped eating for a while. From summer to the very beginning of September, he hardly said anything nor could do anything but barely eat anything he was given. It wasn't until I was working a lone usher shift at my job on Sept. 5th that I was asked to come to the box office for a phone call from my older brother and mom that he passed away. I was able to leave work early and go see him one of two last times before he had his body taken away that same day. Days later, we had his funeral/wake and said our final goodbyes to him. I tell you all, he was one hell of a man. Despite being wheelchair bound, he still found something to do, even if he didn't have a ton of freedom at his age. I'll be missing these two for what they brought me in my life. But I believe that's enough negativity for this. I've went on for too long about the bad stuff, so lets talk about some positive stuff somewhat out of order.
Summer was the time that I got to hang out with a couple of my friends more as we went to a couple of museums - Illinois Railway Museum and Volo Auto Museum. Volo was by far my favorite for having a lot of vehicles used in movies, TV shows, and even from other places(Including Trump's dumb car. W H Y ?) The shop they had there stretched across 3 buildings and all had a wide assortment of items. One of which were Pokemon cards and I was impressed by what they had there. It felt like a treat to be there as I enjoyed my time with friends and the stuff on display. While the trains weren't that eye catching to me, other things were. Oh right, I did mention Pokemon cards. Despite this year being hard to find most of the TCG products, I've came across a lot of good cards in my time. And I even got to share that with my older sister, Jacquelyn. I gave her any cards I had already and even got her a small binder from one of the Celebrations boxes I managed to snag off of the Pokemon Center site. As to how my luck goes with opening packs, I feel mighty lucky given how many cards I managed to snag and fill up my binder with. I'm a guy that collects and enjoys the art in each card, not selling them. Or at least, not until I feel like I desperately need more funds for whatever reason, but I doubt that would happen. Currently taking a break from collecting cards given how much I spent in October and November on cards. Plus, after getting that Mythical Squishies box from my sister, I'd say my luck is tapped out for a while. And that box came from a special place I'd like to share with you all on.
December 17th's weekend was the time where I got to go my very first convention, which was an anime themed one. "Con-Alt-Delete", it was called. My sis said it was her and her friend's last time going cause of a guy that helps runs this thing not being very good, to say the very least, but who knows? Maybe that'll change. Anyways, I spent all weekend at the Hyatt Regency where I got to see plenty of amazing cosplayers, look at different panel events, and browse the vendors. The vendors made part of my experience worth it as I got so many good things from there including a stainless steel replica of Red Queen, Nero's weapon from DMC4/5(Though, it was the variant from 4 and not 5. Sad, but it's fine). I also got the Mythical Squishies box from one of the vendors and my sister said it was a gift from both her and her boyfriend, Jim. The cards I got were ridiculously lucky for me, so safe to say I was done with cards for the year. Other items I got were little figures, an aluminum poster, and other items made by artists. There was a section where artists could sell their work in various forms like stickers, posters, and much more. But one of the most memorable things from this was meeting a couple voice actors and getting two of my games signed by a couple of them, which are John Swasey and Quinton Flynn. I was nervous between seeing both of them, so you can imagine I didn't have much to say to them. After we left, though, we did go to an Asian market called "Mitsuwa". They had a lot of different foods from there - which I ate most of it when I got home - and had different items to sell. Movies, mangas, figures, figure sets, but the one item that caught my eyes was an adorable Mizutsune chibi plush. It now sits with my Lugia plush in my bedroom. Overall, this weekend was amazing and hope to go to another convention with my sister again.
Lastly, from all the good stuff this year, I tried many different games. Some from this year, but also older games as I either got them on PS5 or on my new pre-built PC. This was the year I got to finally experience PC gaming and it feels wonderful so far. I even got to dip my toes into a series I've heard about for years: Psychonauts. I ended up loving the game for how it's a platforming collect-athon and the writing it had, so you can imagine how I felt when I streamed Psychonauts 2 and loved that game even more than the original. It felt far more polished and less punishing in for finding a majority of collectables. Honestly, it gets my game of the year despite the actual award ceremony not given a single reward to this gem, WHAT THE FUCK, GAME AWA-...Sorry about that. Anyways, besides that game, I also played Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart live on Twitch as well. That game was a load of fun to play through, but I do admit that the story could've been more fleshed out. I honestly love the world of R&C to bits and want to learn about their lore more, but unsure if we'll get a game that delves deeper into that anytime soon given Insomniac is busy with Spiderman and Wolverine, but a man can dream still. Besides that, the only other games I've touched are Metal Gear Rising Revengeance on my PC(Still have to finish 100%ing it eventually) and Pokemon BDSM...I mean BDSP(YEESH, they make those acronyms too close to one another). Not much to say on those games as of now, to be honest. But with this all being said...lets get into the real stuff I wish to share with you all about. And sorry for the walls of text, a ton happened this year.
What comes next?
With college about to be behind me, I aim to do several new things this year. First off, you all have noticed I've been writing stories here and there, yeah? I want to start pouring time into writing new Tales from/Slice of Nasurah stories for you all to read on my characters, see how they develop or what they tackle given their mindsets. I once remembered a time where I used RPs in a public community to tell my stories at a more blissful time, but I now want to write and actually show you what I see my characters doing. And with writing comes an idea I've had in the back of my head. Say I start doing story commissions, would any of you be interested in it? It's something I wish to experiment with, so I'd be doing some test comms first the chance I open stuff up. Likely going to limit this just to be safe and be sure that it can't be a very long story. I aim to make short stories, not long ones, for others. But this is something to try. I'm unsure how well this would go, so do let me know your thoughts on that.
Going more into my gaming life, I've successfully bought an Xbox Series X! This means I have 4 platforms to play on: Switch, PC, PS5, and Xbox. But likely going to sack my PS+ subscription given that I hardly play games on there with others. But besides that, I want to play more games with people this year and have more fun, unwind and care less about winning or losing. I've had a nasty habit with most competitive games where I get angry or frustrated to where stuff goes south. I aim to change that about myself as this year goes, but I also want to attempt to clear up any old games I've yet to finish in my time. This does mean buying less games, by the way, so don't expect me to nab every game out there to play, but I am willing to play games I already have like Monster Hunter World: Iceborne(Xbox & PC) and even Rise(Switch only right now). Ask me about what games I play and I can see what to do on that. Yes, I play Destiny 2 and even the big game of them all: Fortshite.
Another thing I aim to change is my job. Ushering at a theater has taken its toll on me and the recent vaccine mandate has screwed a lot of people out of working here, so we're left with fewer workers and open for less hours. Not to mention people are gradually leaving this place over time and after more than 2 years, I think this is my time to leave too. I plan to revise my resume and go job hunting while continuing my work at the theater. Much as I'd like to outright quit, mom is having me save money to pay for my car insurance coming up in February. Plus, I need money to survive these days anyhow. Lets hope this next job I get is a good enough improvement from my old job to stay at the new one.
And finally, the one thing I want to do is talk more with this community I'm in. Actually interact more with my friends and new face I come across. I hardly do that as is with how hectic my schedule gets, but I want to start growing a presence more than ever. That and to make some new connections with others. Most may not believe it, but I tend to get my help through hard times through talking to people. To me, the more people to talk to, the better as it provides different types of feedback for me on a variety of things. Without the help I have today, as I said, I wouldn't be here.
So to all my friends throughout the year of 2021 and beyond or before, thank you. THANK. YOU. For helping me push through 2021. I have a ton of people to thank, so I will list off whoever comes into mind. Matt, Solar, Emerald, Mike, Apollo, Carl, Light, DarkTails, Luca, Eli, Aureolus, Ikun, Illusionfoxx, Lorenzo, Maxi, Spirit, Lorisider, Sierra, Lorejuniper, Xevee, Shiny, Equinerhael, and Dani. That is everyone I could remember, so sorry if I did miss you being mentioned, but do know that you're still appreciated for your time with me in the past year. Lets make 2022 our bitch and make it a better year than 2020 NG+, shall we? I hope to all the readers out there that got this far to stay tuned on stuff as I plan to push into this year doing more than I have in a long while. For now...that's all. So ciao for now!
2021: Year in Review
January wasn't an easy start with crap going on with my step father, Chuck "the Fuck", as I personally call him in my head or chat about him with friends. I didn't sleep well going into New Years Day after mom woke me up to tell me how he planned to start charging me $300 a month if I didn't have plans to go to college or, get this, go to work. I later told him I was still going to college and that work hadn't reopened cause of you-know-what screwing up the whole world. So no rent charges there, but as the month was nearly over with, the man was massively pissed at me for not filling up a tire with air or for not knowing there was a hole in my tire. By the way, said tire was meant to be new and my parents took my car to a auto shop nearby to finally get me new tires for my car, so for him to be pissed at me for one of the tires already being flat is all on him, but he kept pushing this all on me. This made my weekend a nightmare as I dealt with him being extremely aggressive towards me, yelling at me often and to my mother. Even took out our wifi cause of his behavior. And at the end of the weekend, he comes back from work and is still pissed, but already cracked open a beer, having mom come get me to talk to him. How did that conversation go? Well, he belittles me for my behavior, including making them wait on New Years Eve for them to go celebrate at another bar, and furthermore on the tire situation. I felt extremely uncomfortable around him and couldn't say much to defend myself. I tried getting away, but then he rose my voice at me until it got to a question as I reached my bedroom door: "Why don't you go live with your dad?" I had many reasons, but I only got one out of my mouth - "He doesn't have wifi" - and then Chuck literally walks away from the staircase, saying out loud with his arms raised that I proved him right. And what happened next? I had a mental meltdown, kicked my own solid wood door to the point where it couldn't close right till it was fixed, and cried in my room. And then the asshole asks if I want a hug from him, but mom got both him and her out of my room. It took me 1-2 hours to calm down. The start of this year was complete shit and things weren't looking too great beyond that.
February to May, I had to deal with college and my job at the theater being reopened yet again. Given the amount of help an usher like me gets - which is hardly at all - it was a struggle to keep up with stuff on the job along with getting several tasks to do and much more than any other position on the job. And cleaning shows were a hassle since we had to spray seats, put new tape on them whenever to say they're either clean or not able to be used, and pick up garbage on top of all of it. But the worst part is that there would be only 1-2 ushers on at a time to do any of this for a good long while. This especially came ahead when June hit and Fast & Furious 9 came out. On one Tuesday, it was another usher and I cleaning shows after a new guy had a very short first shift. Because of it being only the two of us, it was hell to clean shows and no one offered help till it was 15 minutes before the 2 of us needed to leave...only to stay an hour longer and see how management fucked me over on next week's schedule. Because of that one shift alone, I grew tired of my job for a while and blew off 2 shifts straight. I tried finding a new job with what remained of summer, but no dice. But I was thankful I was able to cut back on how many days I worked once the new and final semester of college hit...but you all know how that went by now.
To be short, college this semester was a nightmare from how I had 2/3 classes be online, hard to follow in most places, and dealing with one teacher being lazy at her job. It was a ton of emotional baggage to carry throughout this semester, but it's over with. I need to wait for my diploma to come by the end of this Spring semester and I'll at least have an Associates of Arts. Something I neglected to mention were 2 critical events from this year that drastically affected me: The death of Angel and Grandpa Frank. Angel, my last childhood pet that lived at my dad's place, ended up slowly dying in his home and I was there to see it most of it happen. We were meant to get her to a vet, but she died in my dad's arms. As if it weren't bad enough, my Grandpa Frank had to go to the hospital during the year and was bed ridden after he stopped eating for a while. From summer to the very beginning of September, he hardly said anything nor could do anything but barely eat anything he was given. It wasn't until I was working a lone usher shift at my job on Sept. 5th that I was asked to come to the box office for a phone call from my older brother and mom that he passed away. I was able to leave work early and go see him one of two last times before he had his body taken away that same day. Days later, we had his funeral/wake and said our final goodbyes to him. I tell you all, he was one hell of a man. Despite being wheelchair bound, he still found something to do, even if he didn't have a ton of freedom at his age. I'll be missing these two for what they brought me in my life. But I believe that's enough negativity for this. I've went on for too long about the bad stuff, so lets talk about some positive stuff somewhat out of order.
Summer was the time that I got to hang out with a couple of my friends more as we went to a couple of museums - Illinois Railway Museum and Volo Auto Museum. Volo was by far my favorite for having a lot of vehicles used in movies, TV shows, and even from other places(Including Trump's dumb car. W H Y ?) The shop they had there stretched across 3 buildings and all had a wide assortment of items. One of which were Pokemon cards and I was impressed by what they had there. It felt like a treat to be there as I enjoyed my time with friends and the stuff on display. While the trains weren't that eye catching to me, other things were. Oh right, I did mention Pokemon cards. Despite this year being hard to find most of the TCG products, I've came across a lot of good cards in my time. And I even got to share that with my older sister, Jacquelyn. I gave her any cards I had already and even got her a small binder from one of the Celebrations boxes I managed to snag off of the Pokemon Center site. As to how my luck goes with opening packs, I feel mighty lucky given how many cards I managed to snag and fill up my binder with. I'm a guy that collects and enjoys the art in each card, not selling them. Or at least, not until I feel like I desperately need more funds for whatever reason, but I doubt that would happen. Currently taking a break from collecting cards given how much I spent in October and November on cards. Plus, after getting that Mythical Squishies box from my sister, I'd say my luck is tapped out for a while. And that box came from a special place I'd like to share with you all on.
December 17th's weekend was the time where I got to go my very first convention, which was an anime themed one. "Con-Alt-Delete", it was called. My sis said it was her and her friend's last time going cause of a guy that helps runs this thing not being very good, to say the very least, but who knows? Maybe that'll change. Anyways, I spent all weekend at the Hyatt Regency where I got to see plenty of amazing cosplayers, look at different panel events, and browse the vendors. The vendors made part of my experience worth it as I got so many good things from there including a stainless steel replica of Red Queen, Nero's weapon from DMC4/5(Though, it was the variant from 4 and not 5. Sad, but it's fine). I also got the Mythical Squishies box from one of the vendors and my sister said it was a gift from both her and her boyfriend, Jim. The cards I got were ridiculously lucky for me, so safe to say I was done with cards for the year. Other items I got were little figures, an aluminum poster, and other items made by artists. There was a section where artists could sell their work in various forms like stickers, posters, and much more. But one of the most memorable things from this was meeting a couple voice actors and getting two of my games signed by a couple of them, which are John Swasey and Quinton Flynn. I was nervous between seeing both of them, so you can imagine I didn't have much to say to them. After we left, though, we did go to an Asian market called "Mitsuwa". They had a lot of different foods from there - which I ate most of it when I got home - and had different items to sell. Movies, mangas, figures, figure sets, but the one item that caught my eyes was an adorable Mizutsune chibi plush. It now sits with my Lugia plush in my bedroom. Overall, this weekend was amazing and hope to go to another convention with my sister again.
Lastly, from all the good stuff this year, I tried many different games. Some from this year, but also older games as I either got them on PS5 or on my new pre-built PC. This was the year I got to finally experience PC gaming and it feels wonderful so far. I even got to dip my toes into a series I've heard about for years: Psychonauts. I ended up loving the game for how it's a platforming collect-athon and the writing it had, so you can imagine how I felt when I streamed Psychonauts 2 and loved that game even more than the original. It felt far more polished and less punishing in for finding a majority of collectables. Honestly, it gets my game of the year despite the actual award ceremony not given a single reward to this gem, WHAT THE FUCK, GAME AWA-...Sorry about that. Anyways, besides that game, I also played Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart live on Twitch as well. That game was a load of fun to play through, but I do admit that the story could've been more fleshed out. I honestly love the world of R&C to bits and want to learn about their lore more, but unsure if we'll get a game that delves deeper into that anytime soon given Insomniac is busy with Spiderman and Wolverine, but a man can dream still. Besides that, the only other games I've touched are Metal Gear Rising Revengeance on my PC(Still have to finish 100%ing it eventually) and Pokemon BDSM...I mean BDSP(YEESH, they make those acronyms too close to one another). Not much to say on those games as of now, to be honest. But with this all being said...lets get into the real stuff I wish to share with you all about. And sorry for the walls of text, a ton happened this year.
What comes next?
With college about to be behind me, I aim to do several new things this year. First off, you all have noticed I've been writing stories here and there, yeah? I want to start pouring time into writing new Tales from/Slice of Nasurah stories for you all to read on my characters, see how they develop or what they tackle given their mindsets. I once remembered a time where I used RPs in a public community to tell my stories at a more blissful time, but I now want to write and actually show you what I see my characters doing. And with writing comes an idea I've had in the back of my head. Say I start doing story commissions, would any of you be interested in it? It's something I wish to experiment with, so I'd be doing some test comms first the chance I open stuff up. Likely going to limit this just to be safe and be sure that it can't be a very long story. I aim to make short stories, not long ones, for others. But this is something to try. I'm unsure how well this would go, so do let me know your thoughts on that.
Going more into my gaming life, I've successfully bought an Xbox Series X! This means I have 4 platforms to play on: Switch, PC, PS5, and Xbox. But likely going to sack my PS+ subscription given that I hardly play games on there with others. But besides that, I want to play more games with people this year and have more fun, unwind and care less about winning or losing. I've had a nasty habit with most competitive games where I get angry or frustrated to where stuff goes south. I aim to change that about myself as this year goes, but I also want to attempt to clear up any old games I've yet to finish in my time. This does mean buying less games, by the way, so don't expect me to nab every game out there to play, but I am willing to play games I already have like Monster Hunter World: Iceborne(Xbox & PC) and even Rise(Switch only right now). Ask me about what games I play and I can see what to do on that. Yes, I play Destiny 2 and even the big game of them all: Fortshite.
Another thing I aim to change is my job. Ushering at a theater has taken its toll on me and the recent vaccine mandate has screwed a lot of people out of working here, so we're left with fewer workers and open for less hours. Not to mention people are gradually leaving this place over time and after more than 2 years, I think this is my time to leave too. I plan to revise my resume and go job hunting while continuing my work at the theater. Much as I'd like to outright quit, mom is having me save money to pay for my car insurance coming up in February. Plus, I need money to survive these days anyhow. Lets hope this next job I get is a good enough improvement from my old job to stay at the new one.
And finally, the one thing I want to do is talk more with this community I'm in. Actually interact more with my friends and new face I come across. I hardly do that as is with how hectic my schedule gets, but I want to start growing a presence more than ever. That and to make some new connections with others. Most may not believe it, but I tend to get my help through hard times through talking to people. To me, the more people to talk to, the better as it provides different types of feedback for me on a variety of things. Without the help I have today, as I said, I wouldn't be here.
So to all my friends throughout the year of 2021 and beyond or before, thank you. THANK. YOU. For helping me push through 2021. I have a ton of people to thank, so I will list off whoever comes into mind. Matt, Solar, Emerald, Mike, Apollo, Carl, Light, DarkTails, Luca, Eli, Aureolus, Ikun, Illusionfoxx, Lorenzo, Maxi, Spirit, Lorisider, Sierra, Lorejuniper, Xevee, Shiny, Equinerhael, and Dani. That is everyone I could remember, so sorry if I did miss you being mentioned, but do know that you're still appreciated for your time with me in the past year. Lets make 2022 our bitch and make it a better year than 2020 NG+, shall we? I hope to all the readers out there that got this far to stay tuned on stuff as I plan to push into this year doing more than I have in a long while. For now...that's all. So ciao for now!
