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State Of The Caudle 2022
3 years ago
SO
2021 was a lot, had deaths and covid (I got covid for a bit) the usual! I also think I overburdened myself towards the end as I'm wont to do, but having come out the other side of it, I feel a lot better than I did when I was in the thick of it. There'll be another valley sometime, but for now I'm feeling pretty good!
I think part of that is thanks to the patience and kindness of the fandom. On the note of commissions, I am still working through my queue, but even folks who wanted refunds when I closed for my mental health were willing to work with me, give me time to gather funds, or switch to smaller projects, and that is SO appreciated oh my goodness. I did not get as much done on that front as I wanted in 2021, I cleared a few old projects, but not as much as I wanted, and it's been a long wait, so for anyone who wants a refund, they are still on offer, if you let me have a week or two I can pay back most things without taking a real hit myself, so that option remains open.
I have a few audio projects on commission that I'd really like to get done probably towards March (February is insane for me), but I've learned about myself over time, and the fact of the matter is my brain just works on what it wants to work on, and I can kinda steer it, but working on commission really has only ever worked well for me with EXTREMELY patient people who were willing to wait until my muse blew in their direction, and...let's face it...it's 2021, ain't nobody here for that (Or at least most people aren't, that's not how a business runs.)
I think that's the main thing I've realized, I can run a small business off of things I make because I want to, releasing when they're done, but I don't think I'm built for the commission business outside of small Twitter Threads and occasional stories when the mood is high. I think, if I ever open commissions again, that's how I'll do it, 'If you want me to do this, you must understand I am *not* fast, and *not all that stable*, and the queue will be so small gnats will trip over it.
Anyway I've rambled enough, I am actually looking forwards to combing through the last few items on my queue, but I cannot promise speed. My mental health has been better since I started making more of the things I wanted the way I wanted, and I'm so thankful the fandom let me flounder this much before I figured that properly out.
Just like...man, I get the feeling there are a lot of young artists in a bit of 'Project debt' trying to create their way through college (That's kinda what happened with me, when you're poor, sometimes you make too many commitments in order to eat etc). Not all of them get this sort of kindness as they come out of a lot of old nonsense and into being a new person.
Anyway, happy new year, I hope whether you follow me for stories, audios, art, or just because you clicked the button and never fixed it, that I bring you some small modicum of joy in the day to day. I feel a groundswell of energy under me, that usually means a...small bit of mania if I'm honest? I tend to have big creative outbursts for a few weeks then vanish into a hole. I think one of the big creative periods is approaching to fend off winter, and I hope we have so, so much fun together as I finish these owed projects, try a bunch of new things, and see where the wind takes me!
In anycase, my notes are open, and my mind feels clearer. Sorry if I was quiet for a while, its kind of just the ebb and flow of my brain, but I think I'm becoming okay with that, and slowly trying to stop squeezing myself into a framework doesn't fit. Just gonna ride the tide!
Much love,
- Caudle
2021 was a lot, had deaths and covid (I got covid for a bit) the usual! I also think I overburdened myself towards the end as I'm wont to do, but having come out the other side of it, I feel a lot better than I did when I was in the thick of it. There'll be another valley sometime, but for now I'm feeling pretty good!
I think part of that is thanks to the patience and kindness of the fandom. On the note of commissions, I am still working through my queue, but even folks who wanted refunds when I closed for my mental health were willing to work with me, give me time to gather funds, or switch to smaller projects, and that is SO appreciated oh my goodness. I did not get as much done on that front as I wanted in 2021, I cleared a few old projects, but not as much as I wanted, and it's been a long wait, so for anyone who wants a refund, they are still on offer, if you let me have a week or two I can pay back most things without taking a real hit myself, so that option remains open.
I have a few audio projects on commission that I'd really like to get done probably towards March (February is insane for me), but I've learned about myself over time, and the fact of the matter is my brain just works on what it wants to work on, and I can kinda steer it, but working on commission really has only ever worked well for me with EXTREMELY patient people who were willing to wait until my muse blew in their direction, and...let's face it...it's 2021, ain't nobody here for that (Or at least most people aren't, that's not how a business runs.)
I think that's the main thing I've realized, I can run a small business off of things I make because I want to, releasing when they're done, but I don't think I'm built for the commission business outside of small Twitter Threads and occasional stories when the mood is high. I think, if I ever open commissions again, that's how I'll do it, 'If you want me to do this, you must understand I am *not* fast, and *not all that stable*, and the queue will be so small gnats will trip over it.
Anyway I've rambled enough, I am actually looking forwards to combing through the last few items on my queue, but I cannot promise speed. My mental health has been better since I started making more of the things I wanted the way I wanted, and I'm so thankful the fandom let me flounder this much before I figured that properly out.
Just like...man, I get the feeling there are a lot of young artists in a bit of 'Project debt' trying to create their way through college (That's kinda what happened with me, when you're poor, sometimes you make too many commitments in order to eat etc). Not all of them get this sort of kindness as they come out of a lot of old nonsense and into being a new person.
Anyway, happy new year, I hope whether you follow me for stories, audios, art, or just because you clicked the button and never fixed it, that I bring you some small modicum of joy in the day to day. I feel a groundswell of energy under me, that usually means a...small bit of mania if I'm honest? I tend to have big creative outbursts for a few weeks then vanish into a hole. I think one of the big creative periods is approaching to fend off winter, and I hope we have so, so much fun together as I finish these owed projects, try a bunch of new things, and see where the wind takes me!
In anycase, my notes are open, and my mind feels clearer. Sorry if I was quiet for a while, its kind of just the ebb and flow of my brain, but I think I'm becoming okay with that, and slowly trying to stop squeezing myself into a framework doesn't fit. Just gonna ride the tide!
Much love,
- Caudle
Don't stress yourself out about it too much, you got this!