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I am burned out
4 years ago
General
So here is an indepth look at how things have been. Sorry for this ramble, I just need to get it all out there:
My parents are divorced, but we still all meet up for the holidays. This thanksgiving my mom said she was not up for coming down. I thought that it might be due to covid, and it made sense. We always have thanksgiving a day or two early as flying on thanksgiving day is super easy. Then while I was visiting my dad I got a call from my mom's neighbor that she was in really bad shape. Her legs were were swollen, blistering and she was having trouble breathing.
She kept saying that she was fine, but the neighbors got together and brought her to the hospital. It turned out that she had a heart issue and that was causing fluid to build in her legs and have trouble getting the oxygen she needed.
Hearing that, I flew out on thanksgiving day to visit her instead of going home. I was able to rent a car and visited her at the physical recovery place she was at, and then went to stay at her apartment. On the drive there the car had some bad transmission issues. Everything was closed and the only food in her house was a packet of ramen, and I had missed breakfast and lunch.
The next day I had called the rental company and told them the car had major issues and I did not feel safe driving it. They demanded that I had to drive it 50 minutes back to their location as they would not send anyone to get it, tow it, or let me take it to another location. On driving it back guess what! The transmission died on the highway, at a spot that had no shoulder! It would not let you change the gear to get it into neutral or anything just kept saying "Conditions are not correct to shift" Luckily there was an ambulance that was driving not too far behind me that stopped to give me protection from the traffic until the police and a tow could be done.
On being towed I called the rental company and informed them what happened and they said they had a replacement and sent me a Lyft to take me to get it. On arriving they refused to give me the replacement because the vehicle was not physically brought back to them, and it took a good 2 hours of back and forth between them and the people I talked to on the phone to get it sorted out.
Finally with a new car I was able to get back to the apartment, and start the process of cleaning the place given my mom was taken to the hospital with no warning and no one had been back there. It had been in need of deep cleaning, and I was able to get it into really good shape. I also went and bought my mom some things she had been wanting as a christmas gift, and visited her daily.
Eventually she was released to go home for two weeks before she would have to go in for surgery. It turned out to be a aortic embolism that caused this, along with some other heart issues. It was a great time getting to spend with my mom and she was very happy for everything I was doing for her and introducing her to some new foods and the stuff I had gotten her.
I took her to the assorted appointments needed, and eventually to the hospital for the surgery... things took a bad turn. The 5 hour procedure took 11. It took a few days for her to get to a point that she was able to get off the ventilator, with me visiting every day. She had been so happy that I was there for her, but told me to take time for myself instead of worrying.
The next day she had slipped back and had to be put back on the ventilator, and now had to be put on dialysis to help out her kidneys. It then came to light she had gotten a blood infection. Though she had signs of improving, and since that happened I decided to take a day off from visiting to catch up on sleep. I got a call that day that she had gotten really bad and was likely to not make it the night unless they put in an impeller (small pump to help the heart). I drove in to be by her side as she had to go into surgery.
On her getting out, it was taking them forever to let me see her again, and when they did they were having a lot of trouble of her loosing blood and unable to get her to breath even assisted.. and I had to make the decision to have them stop. She was turning purple, and at that point they really had nothing more they could try and do and even if they could it would be a terrible existence given everything they told me and with the agreement of my family that this is what she would have wanted.
I sat there by her side as she passed away a few minutes from midnight. I was numb, as this was the first person close to me to have passed. I did not know my grandparents well enough, as I was far too young when they died.
I went back to her apartment to try and sleep and grieve. I eventually tried to start figuring out what someone is supposed to due when someone dies. The hardest part it did not seem like I could find a will. Still trying to recover from all this brought me up to Christmas at the end of the week.. where I started to feel kind of sick.
And then even more sick.. I couldn't belive how bad I felt, but I forced myself to go get a covid test and.. Yep got covid! I think between the stress of everything and having gone to the hospital even with double masking and being vaccinated I still got sick. Given how sick I got, that was not Omicron.
I was lucky that a neighbor was able to drop food off at my front door so I could get food while I tried to recover, and had a blood oxigen tester to make sure that did not dip too low. Once the symptoms were over, It took a bit to even get my energy back and not get winded walking up the stairs.
Now I am able to go back to taking care of everything involving my mom, and find a bank box key. If she were to have a will she would keep it there. I go into the bank and they will not let me get in there. No one is listed to be able to access it other than her, and they would only let someone do so if an estate is set up and appointed. So that means having to hire a lawyer.
Durring all this I then get called by the landlord that since she passed away, they have the right to demand the remainder of her lease, which would add up to $40,000. This is more than she even had in her bank. I speak with the lawyer I had and they said that they could technically do that, but was able to make a deal with the landlord.. but this meant I had to pay this and next months rent.. but be out by the end of this month... which I was told last week. So here I am rushing to try to get everything out otherwise they will charge that full ammount against the estate (that still does not exsist yet).
I now am running into issues of getting people to come take away the stuff that I am not going to keep because of covid none of the places you can donate to will pick up.
I am just so tired, and so burned out. I dont even know... I hate this so much.
My parents are divorced, but we still all meet up for the holidays. This thanksgiving my mom said she was not up for coming down. I thought that it might be due to covid, and it made sense. We always have thanksgiving a day or two early as flying on thanksgiving day is super easy. Then while I was visiting my dad I got a call from my mom's neighbor that she was in really bad shape. Her legs were were swollen, blistering and she was having trouble breathing.
She kept saying that she was fine, but the neighbors got together and brought her to the hospital. It turned out that she had a heart issue and that was causing fluid to build in her legs and have trouble getting the oxygen she needed.
Hearing that, I flew out on thanksgiving day to visit her instead of going home. I was able to rent a car and visited her at the physical recovery place she was at, and then went to stay at her apartment. On the drive there the car had some bad transmission issues. Everything was closed and the only food in her house was a packet of ramen, and I had missed breakfast and lunch.
The next day I had called the rental company and told them the car had major issues and I did not feel safe driving it. They demanded that I had to drive it 50 minutes back to their location as they would not send anyone to get it, tow it, or let me take it to another location. On driving it back guess what! The transmission died on the highway, at a spot that had no shoulder! It would not let you change the gear to get it into neutral or anything just kept saying "Conditions are not correct to shift" Luckily there was an ambulance that was driving not too far behind me that stopped to give me protection from the traffic until the police and a tow could be done.
On being towed I called the rental company and informed them what happened and they said they had a replacement and sent me a Lyft to take me to get it. On arriving they refused to give me the replacement because the vehicle was not physically brought back to them, and it took a good 2 hours of back and forth between them and the people I talked to on the phone to get it sorted out.
Finally with a new car I was able to get back to the apartment, and start the process of cleaning the place given my mom was taken to the hospital with no warning and no one had been back there. It had been in need of deep cleaning, and I was able to get it into really good shape. I also went and bought my mom some things she had been wanting as a christmas gift, and visited her daily.
Eventually she was released to go home for two weeks before she would have to go in for surgery. It turned out to be a aortic embolism that caused this, along with some other heart issues. It was a great time getting to spend with my mom and she was very happy for everything I was doing for her and introducing her to some new foods and the stuff I had gotten her.
I took her to the assorted appointments needed, and eventually to the hospital for the surgery... things took a bad turn. The 5 hour procedure took 11. It took a few days for her to get to a point that she was able to get off the ventilator, with me visiting every day. She had been so happy that I was there for her, but told me to take time for myself instead of worrying.
The next day she had slipped back and had to be put back on the ventilator, and now had to be put on dialysis to help out her kidneys. It then came to light she had gotten a blood infection. Though she had signs of improving, and since that happened I decided to take a day off from visiting to catch up on sleep. I got a call that day that she had gotten really bad and was likely to not make it the night unless they put in an impeller (small pump to help the heart). I drove in to be by her side as she had to go into surgery.
On her getting out, it was taking them forever to let me see her again, and when they did they were having a lot of trouble of her loosing blood and unable to get her to breath even assisted.. and I had to make the decision to have them stop. She was turning purple, and at that point they really had nothing more they could try and do and even if they could it would be a terrible existence given everything they told me and with the agreement of my family that this is what she would have wanted.
I sat there by her side as she passed away a few minutes from midnight. I was numb, as this was the first person close to me to have passed. I did not know my grandparents well enough, as I was far too young when they died.
I went back to her apartment to try and sleep and grieve. I eventually tried to start figuring out what someone is supposed to due when someone dies. The hardest part it did not seem like I could find a will. Still trying to recover from all this brought me up to Christmas at the end of the week.. where I started to feel kind of sick.
And then even more sick.. I couldn't belive how bad I felt, but I forced myself to go get a covid test and.. Yep got covid! I think between the stress of everything and having gone to the hospital even with double masking and being vaccinated I still got sick. Given how sick I got, that was not Omicron.
I was lucky that a neighbor was able to drop food off at my front door so I could get food while I tried to recover, and had a blood oxigen tester to make sure that did not dip too low. Once the symptoms were over, It took a bit to even get my energy back and not get winded walking up the stairs.
Now I am able to go back to taking care of everything involving my mom, and find a bank box key. If she were to have a will she would keep it there. I go into the bank and they will not let me get in there. No one is listed to be able to access it other than her, and they would only let someone do so if an estate is set up and appointed. So that means having to hire a lawyer.
Durring all this I then get called by the landlord that since she passed away, they have the right to demand the remainder of her lease, which would add up to $40,000. This is more than she even had in her bank. I speak with the lawyer I had and they said that they could technically do that, but was able to make a deal with the landlord.. but this meant I had to pay this and next months rent.. but be out by the end of this month... which I was told last week. So here I am rushing to try to get everything out otherwise they will charge that full ammount against the estate (that still does not exsist yet).
I now am running into issues of getting people to come take away the stuff that I am not going to keep because of covid none of the places you can donate to will pick up.
I am just so tired, and so burned out. I dont even know... I hate this so much.
I'll have you in my thoughts, and hope for a sharp upturn in fortune for you.
*growls at your landlord - another reason for hir to hate greedy bastards*
Regarding the financial situation, an option in the modern era if you wanted could be starting a gofundme or similar, and telling your story to various local news and online. Assuming the landlord would still want to rent or sell the property after you move out the bad press could end up costing more than whatever they could get from you, which you could use a leverage to get some leniency in the situation.
In any case, best of luck to you with everything.
(and man that landolord is wack.)