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Some goings on
3 years ago
As you may have noticed I haven't been uploading as often as I used to.
Well a lot has been going on in my life.
For one, I've been grieving the loss of both of my pets. I lost them both within the span of two months. My bird died of old age and my cat went missing. Ash, my cat, is still gone and it's been over a month so at this point I'm giving up the search and assuming that she is dead.
Two, there have been some things going on in my marriage. Over the past 8 months I've had moments where I wondered if there was a point in staying.
Three, I had a major financial loss. I trusted someone and in turn that person used me. I keep telling myself to never trust people. Nothing good ever comes from it.
And to top it all off I'm pregnant.
While I have struggled with depression most of my life (shit childhood, don't feel like explaining now) I have especially been brought down with frequent suicidal thoughts as of late. I don't know if it's because of the hormones, everything going on, or both.
And most days I just don't have the energy nor the motivation to focus on my art.
On a more hopeful note, my husband and I have been really talking to each other about what's going on. Our relationship has gotten much better over the past month and it almost feels like normal. I really want to make things work and so does he. We don't want this to be the end. I mean we both still love each other very much and are still putting our all into this.
Another thing is that I might be getting a new pet.
A friend of the family has two dogs and they just had puppies a few days ago. He needs help homing all of them and I'm thinking I want one of these puppies. After all, I always wanted a dog in the house when I have kids. The puppies should be ready by spring (right around my birthday actually) so maybe I will.
I do have some unfinished art in my backlogs. I'll get to working on those and will hopefully upload something by tomorrow or the day after.
Well a lot has been going on in my life.
For one, I've been grieving the loss of both of my pets. I lost them both within the span of two months. My bird died of old age and my cat went missing. Ash, my cat, is still gone and it's been over a month so at this point I'm giving up the search and assuming that she is dead.
Two, there have been some things going on in my marriage. Over the past 8 months I've had moments where I wondered if there was a point in staying.
Three, I had a major financial loss. I trusted someone and in turn that person used me. I keep telling myself to never trust people. Nothing good ever comes from it.
And to top it all off I'm pregnant.
While I have struggled with depression most of my life (shit childhood, don't feel like explaining now) I have especially been brought down with frequent suicidal thoughts as of late. I don't know if it's because of the hormones, everything going on, or both.
And most days I just don't have the energy nor the motivation to focus on my art.
On a more hopeful note, my husband and I have been really talking to each other about what's going on. Our relationship has gotten much better over the past month and it almost feels like normal. I really want to make things work and so does he. We don't want this to be the end. I mean we both still love each other very much and are still putting our all into this.
Another thing is that I might be getting a new pet.
A friend of the family has two dogs and they just had puppies a few days ago. He needs help homing all of them and I'm thinking I want one of these puppies. After all, I always wanted a dog in the house when I have kids. The puppies should be ready by spring (right around my birthday actually) so maybe I will.
I do have some unfinished art in my backlogs. I'll get to working on those and will hopefully upload something by tomorrow or the day after.
I don't feel so awful now but I will never forget.