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The Difficulties of Becoming Someone Else
3 years ago
Dr. Mekken: Scientist. Savant. Snacker. Always looking for the next meal~ It's been a little over a year and a half since I came out to the world as a furry, as Searill the Insatiable. I made a lot of friends, some of them brief, others still around and well, and have spent countless hours roleplaying as an orca. I've called Searill my persona, but as I've gotten more into this, I've started to grow a bit frustrated. I'm sure that everyone approaches this differently; I have friends with dozens of characters that they freely jump between, who don't necessarily call a single one "home." I, however, see my Sona as an extension of myself, and cultivating that, through roleplay, commissioned art, and my dinky little twitter account gives me a lot of comfort. Lately I've been finding that Searill just doesn't fit me the way he used to. He was my first shot at creating a new me; nowadays, Mekken, my dragon character, is a much closer approximation of me as a furry. He's who I want to be in this community.
But I'm torn. A lot of my oldest friends now see me as Searill, even if I try to mention otherwise (maybe I'm not doing a good job of mentioning), and all my accounts and social media handles related to the fandom are Searill. I also have garnered a bunch of cetacean followers since I started posting here. I worry people will lose interest in me if I don't keep up appearances, and I feel like there's an expectation (especially from my RP friends) to be orcaboy (Do note this change doesn't mean I won't do anything with orcas again, I still love em).
I'm not sure who will read this, but it's on my mind, a lot. I just wanna feel comfortable in my Sona skin. Feedback appreciated.
But I'm torn. A lot of my oldest friends now see me as Searill, even if I try to mention otherwise (maybe I'm not doing a good job of mentioning), and all my accounts and social media handles related to the fandom are Searill. I also have garnered a bunch of cetacean followers since I started posting here. I worry people will lose interest in me if I don't keep up appearances, and I feel like there's an expectation (especially from my RP friends) to be orcaboy (Do note this change doesn't mean I won't do anything with orcas again, I still love em).
I'm not sure who will read this, but it's on my mind, a lot. I just wanna feel comfortable in my Sona skin. Feedback appreciated.
You might see yourself as Mekken from now on, and new people you meet will share that view.
Those that knew you as Searill will likely still see you as the orca you were, while accepting you having a new identity. Some might even embrace it.
Long story short, you shouldn't worry too much.
What people get usually annoyed with is when a character get retired altogether. This is not the case here if I am not mistaken. Searill will still be here for those that want to spend time with the orca. He might not no longer be your persona, but that's fine.
I have recently gone through a similar transformation (although for a different reason) and it confirmed me that what people are really afraid of, is of their beloved character vanishing.
As long as Searill does not fade away, you will be fine.
And even if you felt you need to part ways with Searill, it should be your choice. There might be people angry at you, but it is still your decision and they should respect it.
I hope my feedback and experience is useful to you