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My Major Gripe with The Batman
4 years ago
General
Continuation of my last journal. This is a MAJOR SPOILER for the Batman. So only read it if you've already seen the movie or don't care about spoilers.
What kept this movie from being a 10/10 for me is how badly the third act falls apart. Like I said, the movie was so smart and interesting up to this point until we get the final piece of Riddler's puzzle. The entire movie revolves around Batman trying to stop the Riddler from murdering people. He solves his riddles and moves onto the next clue. The final clue is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Basically, he gives Batman and GCPD a password protected YouTube video or Twitch or Facebook, some form of Social Media link. When they figure out the password, the video plays with Riddler speaking in his normal voice like, "Hey guys! Thanks for all the support and Twitch donations! So uh, I just wanted you all to know that the day of reckoning is at hand! During the mayors election I'll already be captured by the police, but don't worry! It was all part of my master plan! Did any of you see the movie Seven!? Anyway, I'm gonna need you guys to get your riffles and assassinate the mayor for me! Don't forget to smash that like button and subscribe!" I'm being overdramatic... but you get the idea. One of the police officers even says, "Wow! He's got 500 followers!" Uhhh... that's not altta followers, dude. There's even a chat box on the right side of the screen with old comments like, "We're gonna need our rifles." and "don't forget to bring your Riddler mask and duct tape!" Like whoever wrote this obviously has NEVER seen Twitch before, because that chat log would have been spammed with emojis of Pogchamp and "take off your mask and show us your tits!" But no! To make things even more stupid. This army of super buff Riddler men shows up to assassinate the mayor and beat the shit out of Batman!!
Hold the fuck on!! Are you telling me that the Riddler's MASTER PLAN involved relying on a group of fucking randos on the internet to take up arms and fight for him!? Why!? Because they're dedicated to his cause!? What could he possibly have promised these people to do this!? Could you imagine if your favorite Youtuber convinced you to put on a gimp mask and attempt to assassinate someone? Not even the Paul Brother's fans would be that stupid! Let's back up. Okay... so lets just say that these devoted followers of the Riddler have gone full Jim Jones territory. The guys makin' alotta sense and Gotham politicians ARE all corrupt. I'm no expert, but in my experience the type of people who go off on internet tirades about the Government being corrupt and the people needing to rise up and proclaim anarchy are old people who can barely use a computer, fat neckbeards who still live with their parents, and wimpy nerds who are afraid to talk to women because they think they only date assholes. Point is, all talk and no backbone. There's no way in fucking hell an entire army would have shown up to risk a prison sentence or having your fucking face split open by Batman. At least with the Joker it makes sense, because he hires big strong goons to do the dirty work for him. The Joker isn't really suited to fighting. Neither is the Riddler, but had they established that these goons were hired hitmen that he paid real money to instead of internet subscribers he promises nothing... I would have looked the other way.
It was so stupid. And if he posted this to social media, it would have been FOUND OUT IMMEDIATELY! Unless they're implying that this was some kind of Dark Web thing... Potential mass shootings have actually been stopped by dumbass kids posting videos on their Facebook's about shooting the place up the next day. Holy shit! And Riddler was on the fucking News! You're telling me not ONE of his massive 500 followers ratted his ass out!? Also! The FINAL final plan is that Riddler blows up the sea walls, flooding all of Gotham. Which he succeeds in doing so because Batman couldn't figure out his final riddle in time. He only figures it out because one asshole cop who was a dick to him in the beginning comments on the murder weapon being a "carpet tool" used for "carpet" because his family were "CARPENTERS" do you get it!? The last Riddle has something to do with carpet! Just in case you're THAT fucking stupid. What exactly are the internet goons getting out of this by Riddler flooding the city other then massive panic and all of their personal belongings now being under water!? Even if they have nothing to live for, when this is all over all they really did was make things more difficult for themselves. How the hell do we get out of this flooded city now?
So yes... this scene was the main reason I knocked not one, but TWO stars off my final rating. Still hurts to think about.
What kept this movie from being a 10/10 for me is how badly the third act falls apart. Like I said, the movie was so smart and interesting up to this point until we get the final piece of Riddler's puzzle. The entire movie revolves around Batman trying to stop the Riddler from murdering people. He solves his riddles and moves onto the next clue. The final clue is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Basically, he gives Batman and GCPD a password protected YouTube video or Twitch or Facebook, some form of Social Media link. When they figure out the password, the video plays with Riddler speaking in his normal voice like, "Hey guys! Thanks for all the support and Twitch donations! So uh, I just wanted you all to know that the day of reckoning is at hand! During the mayors election I'll already be captured by the police, but don't worry! It was all part of my master plan! Did any of you see the movie Seven!? Anyway, I'm gonna need you guys to get your riffles and assassinate the mayor for me! Don't forget to smash that like button and subscribe!" I'm being overdramatic... but you get the idea. One of the police officers even says, "Wow! He's got 500 followers!" Uhhh... that's not altta followers, dude. There's even a chat box on the right side of the screen with old comments like, "We're gonna need our rifles." and "don't forget to bring your Riddler mask and duct tape!" Like whoever wrote this obviously has NEVER seen Twitch before, because that chat log would have been spammed with emojis of Pogchamp and "take off your mask and show us your tits!" But no! To make things even more stupid. This army of super buff Riddler men shows up to assassinate the mayor and beat the shit out of Batman!!
Hold the fuck on!! Are you telling me that the Riddler's MASTER PLAN involved relying on a group of fucking randos on the internet to take up arms and fight for him!? Why!? Because they're dedicated to his cause!? What could he possibly have promised these people to do this!? Could you imagine if your favorite Youtuber convinced you to put on a gimp mask and attempt to assassinate someone? Not even the Paul Brother's fans would be that stupid! Let's back up. Okay... so lets just say that these devoted followers of the Riddler have gone full Jim Jones territory. The guys makin' alotta sense and Gotham politicians ARE all corrupt. I'm no expert, but in my experience the type of people who go off on internet tirades about the Government being corrupt and the people needing to rise up and proclaim anarchy are old people who can barely use a computer, fat neckbeards who still live with their parents, and wimpy nerds who are afraid to talk to women because they think they only date assholes. Point is, all talk and no backbone. There's no way in fucking hell an entire army would have shown up to risk a prison sentence or having your fucking face split open by Batman. At least with the Joker it makes sense, because he hires big strong goons to do the dirty work for him. The Joker isn't really suited to fighting. Neither is the Riddler, but had they established that these goons were hired hitmen that he paid real money to instead of internet subscribers he promises nothing... I would have looked the other way.
It was so stupid. And if he posted this to social media, it would have been FOUND OUT IMMEDIATELY! Unless they're implying that this was some kind of Dark Web thing... Potential mass shootings have actually been stopped by dumbass kids posting videos on their Facebook's about shooting the place up the next day. Holy shit! And Riddler was on the fucking News! You're telling me not ONE of his massive 500 followers ratted his ass out!? Also! The FINAL final plan is that Riddler blows up the sea walls, flooding all of Gotham. Which he succeeds in doing so because Batman couldn't figure out his final riddle in time. He only figures it out because one asshole cop who was a dick to him in the beginning comments on the murder weapon being a "carpet tool" used for "carpet" because his family were "CARPENTERS" do you get it!? The last Riddle has something to do with carpet! Just in case you're THAT fucking stupid. What exactly are the internet goons getting out of this by Riddler flooding the city other then massive panic and all of their personal belongings now being under water!? Even if they have nothing to live for, when this is all over all they really did was make things more difficult for themselves. How the hell do we get out of this flooded city now?
So yes... this scene was the main reason I knocked not one, but TWO stars off my final rating. Still hurts to think about.
Obviously it should have been CARP because flooding and water and all. *smh*
Not to mention what a CRAP ending that sounds like.
Oh shit! CARP IT! He gonna flood the city with fish!! Nooooo! Everyone get out!