I'm going through a box full of crap and clips from newspapers and magazines that I've been meaning to scan into the computer someday (but never getting around to), and I found this one about what the language in job ads may say, and what it (jokingly) means, though it could be based on truth...


* Join our fast-paced company -- We have no time to train you.

* Casual work atmosphere -- We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

* Must be deadline oriented -- You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

* Some overtime required -- Some time each night and some time each weekend.

* Duties will vary -- Anyone in the office can boss you around.

* Must have an eye for detail -- We have no quality control.

* Career-minded -- Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

* No phone calls, please -- We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

* Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience -- You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

* Problem-solving skills a must -- You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.