Still alive. I shouldn't be, but I am.


I start a new job on April 1st. I'm gonna be running a saw, cutting wood for the company to make doors and windows and other odds and ends for construction. They're gonna start me at $20 an hour, weekends off guaranteed, 10-ish hour days. It's gonna be rough, but I'm gonna give it the best try I can. The money and not having to work retail anymore will be worth it, for sure.

I've been seeing a therapist still, I've got a mood stabilizer+anti-depressant that helps if my shot memory allows me to remember to take it.

My birthday is next month, specifically april 14th. I turn 30. No idea what I'm gonna do for it, and I have not a single fucking person to spend it with, so that's nice.

I'm still isolated as fuck, I can't move in with either of my partners, and neither are willing to move to be with me. I have maybe 1 friend here where I live, and they check in on me once in a blue moon.

Nobody bothers to talk with me anymore. I'm not a priority to my friends of partners. I'm not important. That's okay I guess.

I'm just gonna have to be okay with being alone the rest of my life. However long I have left of it.