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A sort of break
3 years ago
Spent about an hour trying to word all of this, so, yeah. Here we are...
Firstly, the current on-going commission and the on-going YCH will still be completed as soon as possible. I'd like to apologise to both Rufran and Delathar about this situation and how delayed I feel I have been with completing their works. Also, I won't be taking on any new commissions and I don't know how or what my posting in general will be like, or how long this situation will go on for.
I'm not really looking to stop or go away entirely, more looking to be real with myself and openly admit (again...) that pace and direction will have to be what they will be for the moment. I don't really know what that means for drawing and painting right now. Generally speaking, I have not been finding enjoyment in life for quite some time now, save for a few structured things that have felt okay. Emotionally, I feel completely uninterested in mostly anything except for a random interest here and there. I feel stable and yet completely dissatisfied by almost everything.
On top of how I normally feel physically and between how I keep feeling lately with the waves of dizzy/sick feeling, and how unpredictably busy I sometimes am, I feel that right now I can't guarantee anything to anyone, including to myself.
So, I'm sorry if this is disappointing or even surprising; I feel disappointed myself.
Sadly, all this also means I probably won't be doing any other Macro March streams for what little is left of the month, especially as I'd rather focus on finishing on-going works. Maybe I'll pick up streaming again at some point, as it's something I've enjoyed a bit, but I imagine it'd be sporadic and random.
I want to end this with a thought that likely reflects my current mood: To me life doesn't feel like it's about paths and choices. Everything has ended up feeling like it's about a river and its currents. You can't change its course right now and can't swim back upstream, and you can only hold on to what is near you for however long as that moment may last.
Posted using PostyBirb
Firstly, the current on-going commission and the on-going YCH will still be completed as soon as possible. I'd like to apologise to both Rufran and Delathar about this situation and how delayed I feel I have been with completing their works. Also, I won't be taking on any new commissions and I don't know how or what my posting in general will be like, or how long this situation will go on for.
I'm not really looking to stop or go away entirely, more looking to be real with myself and openly admit (again...) that pace and direction will have to be what they will be for the moment. I don't really know what that means for drawing and painting right now. Generally speaking, I have not been finding enjoyment in life for quite some time now, save for a few structured things that have felt okay. Emotionally, I feel completely uninterested in mostly anything except for a random interest here and there. I feel stable and yet completely dissatisfied by almost everything.
On top of how I normally feel physically and between how I keep feeling lately with the waves of dizzy/sick feeling, and how unpredictably busy I sometimes am, I feel that right now I can't guarantee anything to anyone, including to myself.
So, I'm sorry if this is disappointing or even surprising; I feel disappointed myself.
Sadly, all this also means I probably won't be doing any other Macro March streams for what little is left of the month, especially as I'd rather focus on finishing on-going works. Maybe I'll pick up streaming again at some point, as it's something I've enjoyed a bit, but I imagine it'd be sporadic and random.
I want to end this with a thought that likely reflects my current mood: To me life doesn't feel like it's about paths and choices. Everything has ended up feeling like it's about a river and its currents. You can't change its course right now and can't swim back upstream, and you can only hold on to what is near you for however long as that moment may last.
Posted using PostyBirb
I think finding enjoyement in something is something very personal and difficult depending on what one likes or is searching for, when I am blocked about what to draw, I go to read a book or a manga (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle in my case), or to play a game that I really like (replaying Genji, The Dawn of the Samurai from time to time feels liberating, it really feels like that... The art direction and the music are some things that act like therapy for myself when I'm feeling down, and I think some people could be healed the same whay I choose to do it), exercise helps me to feel better too in my case. I understand that mood you wrote at the end too, hopefully you can heal yourself soon, Shadowhide.
Let me put this here if you see it, it's a playlist that I have. Maybe you can find something that you don't know about while browsing through it - Youtube