Much like my closing journal for 2022, this closing entry for 2023 can only sum up the year as "disappointing" at best with regards to art. Between getting very busy, struggling with specific pain issues and with managing my energy and then unexpectedly having to take on extra load, I just wasn't able to be both physically able and emotionally motivated enough to do artwork. A large problem which continues is the fact I don't have enough space to even get back into traditional art, which would really help me with motivation and which generally feels easier to drop in and out of for me; this problem also affects my ability to do other work unrelated to art and I have just felt continuously demotivated for the last 2-3 years even if I have been mentally coping "okay" with life.

As for pain, about a month before my birthday, I had to stay in hospital for a problem which has not yet passed and although the pain has settled a bit for now, I am still dealing with pain issues from this.

The pain I developed in my thumbs the previous year did ease off a little, as did the chest pain, but my hand/finger pain in general has been getting worse to the point that it's difficult to use something like a brush for more than 20 minutes and I think I'm honestly going to struggle with some of the work I'm expected to be doing later this year; very soon into this year I'm going to see if I can get it checked in case it's RA, as it is a typical comorbid thing for people with health conditions like mine.

Besides that, for some years I have had problems with my drawing arm's shoulder in particular too, which has been getting worse over time, making it difficult to seriously get into drawing again. My short-distance sight has gotten worse this year too and I find that when doing things at this distance, it just compounds my existing fatigue issues.

It's incredibly unlikely my health will improve much in the next few years, this is expected progression really. It is difficult enough to get support as is even when something can be done and as I continue to struggle more with many physical tasks, it's just going to get harder to properly do and finish things I enjoy which require a lot of effort on all fronts, like art.

I appreciate that even during this long period without any new artwork there were still a few new watchers, though if I actually get into making or even finishing any artwork this year, I'm afraid it's likely to be mostly personal works. I am almost certain that I will not take on any commissions or requests this year either unless it was for a friend, because I'll have enough work from life as is and frankly it's just hard to say I'd be able to complete anything when dealing with my issues, and since I've been without proper practise for such a long time now.