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Coffee With The Princess!
3 years ago
Coffee With The Princess!
Happy Easter, Y'All!
**Giggles!**
Having been up for a few hours now has not only allowed me some time to do a drive out to Tybee Island and watch the sun rise and to also attend the sunrise mass at church to celebrate Easter, but it allowed me some light soul searching and reflection, something that I have been doing a lot lately. Between 2018 to 2020, I feel like I slid slowly into a hazy dream-like state where I was aware of what I was doing and not completely within the right frame of mind, which sounds like an excuse. Painkillers being used to deal with the start of the hole in my leg around this time and then later with things getting much worse with the inability to sleep just exasperated the situation into something that slowly pushed me deeper into madness, which got really bad around July of 2020. Those last few months were almost a blank, but I knew what was was doing. I just couldn't believe I had fallen that far. The day of the operation to remove the four smaller toes and a portion of the left foot was like a slap in the face after drinking for so long ... and when I awoke in the recovery room, my first thought was I was in the X-Men medical room, just no gorgeous redhead to greet me.
Or was she? I don't remember seeing anyone like my beloved Kaitlynn around, but perhaps she was. I know later she sat on the edge of my bed and watched over me while I rested through the haze of the drugs. I know that she stayed with me throughout the experience and has walked with me pretty much ever since.
That's what made me think this morning that it's a lot of things I had forgotten in my pain and misery that I had pushed aside. Kait's love, my faith, and generally everything that made me such a good person got tossed. I'm not sure if that is a second chance or a rebirth, but it does seem like it to me.
Easter is the resurrection of Jesus Christ after his self-sacrifice on the cross to die for mankind's sins, where even his father turned away from his son's suffering. A rebirth. A fresh start.
Mine is nowhere near as glorious or as some might say fantastical, but it is something to reflect on for the time being. I want to have faith that I have been given a second chance at life, to look at it and the people around me with a bit more clarity and fix all of the things wrong with myself and my life. I'm not trying the monumental heroic thing as to save th world, just myself. To prove that I'm worth of such a gift.
Isn't that what faith is all about?
Happy Easter, Y'All! BE Happy if nothing else!
Love and Kisses,
Loonia
Happy Easter, Y'All!
**Giggles!**
Having been up for a few hours now has not only allowed me some time to do a drive out to Tybee Island and watch the sun rise and to also attend the sunrise mass at church to celebrate Easter, but it allowed me some light soul searching and reflection, something that I have been doing a lot lately. Between 2018 to 2020, I feel like I slid slowly into a hazy dream-like state where I was aware of what I was doing and not completely within the right frame of mind, which sounds like an excuse. Painkillers being used to deal with the start of the hole in my leg around this time and then later with things getting much worse with the inability to sleep just exasperated the situation into something that slowly pushed me deeper into madness, which got really bad around July of 2020. Those last few months were almost a blank, but I knew what was was doing. I just couldn't believe I had fallen that far. The day of the operation to remove the four smaller toes and a portion of the left foot was like a slap in the face after drinking for so long ... and when I awoke in the recovery room, my first thought was I was in the X-Men medical room, just no gorgeous redhead to greet me.
Or was she? I don't remember seeing anyone like my beloved Kaitlynn around, but perhaps she was. I know later she sat on the edge of my bed and watched over me while I rested through the haze of the drugs. I know that she stayed with me throughout the experience and has walked with me pretty much ever since.
That's what made me think this morning that it's a lot of things I had forgotten in my pain and misery that I had pushed aside. Kait's love, my faith, and generally everything that made me such a good person got tossed. I'm not sure if that is a second chance or a rebirth, but it does seem like it to me.
Easter is the resurrection of Jesus Christ after his self-sacrifice on the cross to die for mankind's sins, where even his father turned away from his son's suffering. A rebirth. A fresh start.
Mine is nowhere near as glorious or as some might say fantastical, but it is something to reflect on for the time being. I want to have faith that I have been given a second chance at life, to look at it and the people around me with a bit more clarity and fix all of the things wrong with myself and my life. I'm not trying the monumental heroic thing as to save th world, just myself. To prove that I'm worth of such a gift.
Isn't that what faith is all about?
Happy Easter, Y'All! BE Happy if nothing else!
Love and Kisses,
Loonia
