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Trying......
3 years ago
It's been a year since I've posted a journal, apparently....
Well. Creativity and I haven't been getting along. I thought once I was fully done with commissions I would start getting work for myself done, but that just
hasn't happened. The hardest part is that it doesn't really seem to bother me. It bothers me that it doesn't bother me. If that makes sense. It's not as though
nothing I draw comes out right, or that I can't think of what I want to draw (which is an artist's block I'm familiar with) I'm just plain not motivated.
I have a lot of ideas I'd love to see made, but going through the motions of doing that isn't fun anymore. It just feels like work. So when I have free time I
choose other activities. I'm not really sure what's wrong with me.
The internal fantasy I've always had in my mind is still active, the thing that helps me cope with gender dysphoria and regular old boredom, I just haven't
produced any drawings from it like I always used to do. I even tried working on some simpler ideas, just random "easy" characters for practice, and they don't
go anywhere, or look like anything, and are never finished. I look at other people's work when I get around to browsing submissions here and I feel that inspiration to draw, but nothing comes of it. I don't know, it's been weird. I hate the thought that my time as an artist could be over, does that even happen to people? I've always drawn. But now I'm kind of in a weird state where I don't know what I feel like doing.
Does anyone else feel that way? How do you dig out of it? I know for sure I was burnt out from so much commission work for so long, but I figured I just needed to give it some time. Now a year's gone by and I still don't feel much like getting back to it. Took me a long time just to finish this little avatar thing I just made.
That aside, I hope everyone is doing OK? Preferably great, but I'll settle for OK. My partner turned me on to the wonderful world of VTubers, now I spend my lunch breaks watching Ironmouse and the Hololive crew, they're all fantastic. Also Wings of Fire 15 is here at last! And waiting on The Wild update to Minecraft. That's pretty much all the things. Ima try and get more drawing done. I'll figure it out......
Humanitarian aid for Ukraine: https://www.npr.org/2022/02/25/1082.....e-support-help 🟦🟦🟨🟨
Well. Creativity and I haven't been getting along. I thought once I was fully done with commissions I would start getting work for myself done, but that just
hasn't happened. The hardest part is that it doesn't really seem to bother me. It bothers me that it doesn't bother me. If that makes sense. It's not as though
nothing I draw comes out right, or that I can't think of what I want to draw (which is an artist's block I'm familiar with) I'm just plain not motivated.
I have a lot of ideas I'd love to see made, but going through the motions of doing that isn't fun anymore. It just feels like work. So when I have free time I
choose other activities. I'm not really sure what's wrong with me.
The internal fantasy I've always had in my mind is still active, the thing that helps me cope with gender dysphoria and regular old boredom, I just haven't
produced any drawings from it like I always used to do. I even tried working on some simpler ideas, just random "easy" characters for practice, and they don't
go anywhere, or look like anything, and are never finished. I look at other people's work when I get around to browsing submissions here and I feel that inspiration to draw, but nothing comes of it. I don't know, it's been weird. I hate the thought that my time as an artist could be over, does that even happen to people? I've always drawn. But now I'm kind of in a weird state where I don't know what I feel like doing.
Does anyone else feel that way? How do you dig out of it? I know for sure I was burnt out from so much commission work for so long, but I figured I just needed to give it some time. Now a year's gone by and I still don't feel much like getting back to it. Took me a long time just to finish this little avatar thing I just made.
That aside, I hope everyone is doing OK? Preferably great, but I'll settle for OK. My partner turned me on to the wonderful world of VTubers, now I spend my lunch breaks watching Ironmouse and the Hololive crew, they're all fantastic. Also Wings of Fire 15 is here at last! And waiting on The Wild update to Minecraft. That's pretty much all the things. Ima try and get more drawing done. I'll figure it out......
Humanitarian aid for Ukraine: https://www.npr.org/2022/02/25/1082.....e-support-help 🟦🟦🟨🟨
Alas, I don't know if there's anything to help with it aside from time or the odd bits of inspiration; but I wanted you to know that I absolutely get where you're coming from, and hopefully you can find something to re-trigger the 'right' feeling for your art.
You also have a few avenues open to you thanks to your talents and fallowing. I think your enough of a well known and respected artist that if you wanted you could probably organize or offer to help with any number of projects that interested you. If that’s not of interest I can imagine there are loads of people dying for a commission from you since you stopped, maybe do a limited amount of them with rules in place to keep things from getting out of hand and hopefully keep them enjoyable. Maybe try something with more community interaction like doing a stream where people donate to have things or characters added to a big sketch. If you get creative with it I’m sure you could find something that works, and if not as long as your happy that’s what matters.
I'm not an ace at getting out of art blocks or anything, I've wiggled out of one or two and it always came down to just forcing myself to do something little. A sketch here or there. After a few sketches my passion for the work would reignite and carry me for a little bit. It's not the best advice but I hope it helps or, failing that, you're able to find a way out of the block yourself <3
Is there? People gain and lose interests and move on from things. If you don't miss it, there's nothing wrong. It just means you want to move on to other things and would still have just as much a fulfilling life. Trying to hang onto things you have no passion for is the problem and is unhealthy. You can't fix where there is no love.
Maybe you feel like you've drawn so many things, you don't need to anymore because anything you think of now is similar to something you've already done. Maybe you've already drawn everything you'd be excited to make, and all the ideas you can think of now are lesser, so you're basically out of ideas, so now you're just drawing for the sake of it and not the love of that individual idea. Maybe it's like a TV show where in the early seasons, each product is the writers' baby and personalized, but by the time we get to season 20, they think of each episode as part of a batch they need to get assembled to meet a quota and then get to more batches, and the episodes are like products on a conveyor belt, so now you're always conscious of the volume of your entire body of work and can no longer form an intimate, personalized relationship with each new art irrespective of your prior art, that you've made so many things, it loses value, with each new art having less than the last.
Wishing you the best, and hoping you can find what gets that spark ignited again!
Anything to try to break the habit of endlessly browsing Youtube or obsessively checking for new content, rather than getting into the habit of creating content. One of the worst feelings is taking a whole week off from work for a personal vacation, only to realize how much of each day I wind up wasting. :3 Still, I can't complain about how life has been going, I'm hoping to get enough saved up this year to head outside of my comfort zone and perhaps attend a con, or at least see if I can manage flying on my own to visit friends I've made online that I've known for years in the fandom, but never have had the pleasure of getting to actually hang out with.
Having a job has a weird way of oiling the gears because it's a consistent thing to go to that is repetitive, but varied.
So, to apply that creatively, doing a task physically consistently can help lay down some tracks, but I really gotta push to be the hammer of my work.
All I can say is, there is nothing wrong with you. Don't try to force creativity; let it come on its own. Sit down at least once a day and try to do something simple, for its own sake. If it grows on its own, follow it. If it doesn't, that's ok. try again the next day.
Above all, just take good care of yourself! Things will come when they need to.
- Making some random shapes on a page and seeing what I can make out of it.
- Starting my drawing time with some warmups.
- Getting out of my comfort zone and learning a new skill in art. I felt super slow with inking cause I would meticulously undo-redo lines, so I started doing a lot more stuff with a brush pen. I incorporated this into my warmups by doing brush pen drawings of Pokemon on-model. It's hard, but rewarding. I'm more messy, but I am now building a steadier hand.
- Setting aside an amount of time I can work on a drawing rather than continuing on a piece until I'm sick of it, because usually I'm measuring myself up to a standard of quality I've built up for my work. All it's done is make me feel that all of my work needs to meet that standard, when that's not realistic in my whole lifespan of artwork. I should be actively making more crap, and testing myself on how quickly I can execute an idea into a drawing.
- Pushing my limits by exercising and stretching my body so I have more stamina in a day, and getting good sleep.
- "Done is better than theoretical perfection."
- Optional advice: Seriously take a set break from drawing. A month or two. No drawing at all. It's not realistic, but it could help.
Hope that helps. You make great work. Have a nice day = )
I know what you're feeling as I've just given up trying to draw my own stuff since I don't feel like I can improve at all and its like I want to but don't have the motivation to.
But I know what you're also going I've never been so it's good that you're open about this too.
And I'm gonna say this, you are one of my most favourite artist on here and anywhere and I really hope one day you'll be in a good place to enjoy art again the same way as years before whether it be your own desires or for anyone else.
I wish that my art skills were as good if not close to your own