I'm sure some of you have seen me saying I've been working on my art and stories and trying to get something ready to post, but never quite get to that point. Well the reason why is my life has been in major disarray for the past couple years and I haven't had as much spare time as I'd like to work on what I love.

I've been working as a retail store manager, and like many jobs, we don't have a lot of people to help. The schedule has always been super tight, and I have to be ready to be on call if someone can't make it and I have to step in and fill their shift.
Doing this for a few months now has been very physically taxing. I often don't get enough time to rest and recover between my shifts and have been behind on sleep.
The lack of sleep is not helping me climb out the deep dark chasm that has been my mentality. I'm still trying to recover from a few different traumatic positions when everything started going south.

And then there's living with my family. I have never felt like I could express myself openly without worry in that house growing up, and that's still the case. This lead to me growing up as a very quiet and introverted child who was too anxious to even think about making friends until their teen years. I've been wearing a mask in my own home all my life, and with how tired and stressed I've been, I feel like that mask has slowly started to blend together with my reality so I forget the difference sometimes. I have to remind myself who I am because no one around me has seen that for a very long time. And that's hard.



So sorry for all the dark and gloomy stuff. TLDR, I've been on and off a lot of different medications for anxiety trying to find something that works, and I'm just in a fragile state of mind right now. And my body is very sore and tired too. Kitty need sleep u-u

All of that to get some of that out of my head so I can clear my thoughts, and to say please be patient with me, I really do have stuff in the works that I hope to get more time for soon. Thank you. :3