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if you are wondering where am I or why am I so slow
3 years ago
Heya.
I'm not the one who often posts personal journals about my day to day life, but I wanted to make exception this time.
You could notice that I became very unproductive for the last years (it started slowly many years ago, but noticeably I've turned out like that somewhere in the summer of 2019), there were not many updated in my gallery or they are just rare. With no fullbody drawings and with regular delay of commissions.
Similar thing were happening in a day to day life with daily struggles and shitty moods, so my friends convinced me to finally go to the psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with dysthymia. It's basically meaning having no energy and struggling with the simplest tasks like cooking\cleaning\shopping and etc, and that affects work too (I have daytime job as a children's book illustrator).
I've tried to battle that for years myself and results are... well, there are no results. So we've started treatment process with a doctor a few weeks ago, I'm on the meds now. But there are a lot of them, doctor is trying to find meds that will work with me, at the moment the only result is that I'm always tired and sleepy, but not getting better (so generally just getting worse, to the point when I've struggled with checking social media at all).
I just hope they can find something to make me productive and focused again, while I'm trying to get my shit together, not just a sleepy pills.
So yeah, just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the last years and I'm just asking for a little more patience with me. We'll find the way to heal that thing and I do remember all the drawings that I need to do, I'll get to everyone. It felt horrible and guilty all those years.
Sounds like an excuse, I know, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.
Have a nice day.
I'm not the one who often posts personal journals about my day to day life, but I wanted to make exception this time.
You could notice that I became very unproductive for the last years (it started slowly many years ago, but noticeably I've turned out like that somewhere in the summer of 2019), there were not many updated in my gallery or they are just rare. With no fullbody drawings and with regular delay of commissions.
Similar thing were happening in a day to day life with daily struggles and shitty moods, so my friends convinced me to finally go to the psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with dysthymia. It's basically meaning having no energy and struggling with the simplest tasks like cooking\cleaning\shopping and etc, and that affects work too (I have daytime job as a children's book illustrator).
I've tried to battle that for years myself and results are... well, there are no results. So we've started treatment process with a doctor a few weeks ago, I'm on the meds now. But there are a lot of them, doctor is trying to find meds that will work with me, at the moment the only result is that I'm always tired and sleepy, but not getting better (so generally just getting worse, to the point when I've struggled with checking social media at all).
I just hope they can find something to make me productive and focused again, while I'm trying to get my shit together, not just a sleepy pills.
So yeah, just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the last years and I'm just asking for a little more patience with me. We'll find the way to heal that thing and I do remember all the drawings that I need to do, I'll get to everyone. It felt horrible and guilty all those years.
Sounds like an excuse, I know, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.
Have a nice day.
You're an amazing artist and, from what little I know, you seem to be an amazing person as well. Do take good care of yourself, wish you the best!
You don't have to apologize for not posting, you don't owe us anything and we'll be here, happily waiting, for when you're feeling better. I'm sure that your commissioners will understand as well, you're a person, not an art machine. Just keep doing your best and try not to stress yourself out too much, relax and do what you can for now
As a recently diagnosed autistic ADHDer, I definitely can relate in some way, executive disfunction is a pain. Fingers crossed for you, even a small improvement counts here and is worth it.
(Nah, reasons aren't excuses.
"Just try harder" is not the answer much more often than people think.)