I'm sorry I haven't gotten to them yet. I was hoping to make it to BLFC this year with said money but shit didn't work out and I kinda fell into a DEEP depression spiral that led to me kinda becoming useless for the past 6 or so days. literal fog where I couldn't concentrate on anything and just wanted to stop existing along with a SERIOUSLY messed up sleep schedule where I basically couldn't stop sleeping. I'm still recovering and will be sending those emails out likely later today. I'm gonna try and be better about this, but I'm just going through a LOT.

for those interested in a life update, I'm currently liquidating my storage unit to save money and it's been... rough going over everything and deciding what to hold onto and what to get rid of. so many memories of a past life... reflecting on how I wasn't able to enjoy it like I wanted... that sorta thing... I'm also looking into moving again, but this time physically closer to friends. I can't stand not seeing friends on a regular basis and it really fucks with me. It's looking like I ultimately can't stay in the Bay though. It's just... too expensive. It fucking hurts so much knowing I'm leaving so many behind. So many people I've grown to love, but if I can't see because I literally can't even the gas to drive places at this point. I might be heading north to live with some friends in Seattle but that's still in the air. Part of me is really scared about it. Worst case, I end up being forced to move in with Mom in Texas. I don't trust their local government to not try and take away my rights to HRT though. And seriously, I'd rather DIE then detransition. It would be a literal body horror every day. I'd rather live in my car. It's been... a LOT. Really... just really rough...