Those that pay attention and actually care have probably noticed a lack of even signs of me trying to do anything creative. To be honest, I'm not finding anything that motivates or inspires me at all. Sometimes just trying to get that going just plain hurts.

I find I wonder why I bother wanting to try. There is little genuine interest in what I can and have done. When I consider offering commissions, I feel reminded of every time that it did not work out. I have no idea how much I could charge and still seem fair. I have fewer ideas on how to advertise or promote availability. Most importantly, how would I balance it with everything else? My main job keeps me out for 10 to 11 hours a day. My shifts are 9 hours and commute times can be ridiculous depending on the time and day. Days not working at my job are spent on other responsibilities and doing what I can to preserve my sanity, whatever of that remains.