Four Doris Who is the biggest baddest opponent you’ve ever fought and won against?

Doris: Justin. *laughs* No...no...that's not fair. At the time I had the clear advantage since he was just a lad, but I can never resist the chance to get under a man's skin. I was just working on my flowers in front of my house one day when I had someone shout at me, and I look around to see this boy leaning over my fence. I can't remember how old he was at the time but I remember that his mane hadn't started growing in, and he had these absolutely gorgeous eyes, beautiful eyes. He says to me "You're Doris Lousie, right?" I ask him how he could have possibly known my name, and he says to me that he recognized me from some old videos. Now, I had done some wrestling videos, back in the old days when everything was on tapes and you have to buy them out of a catalog, two things I'm not even sure this squirt had even seen in his life. I tell him, "Ain't you a little young to be watching stuff like that?" and he ignores me and says he wants to wrestle me. I laugh at him because I'm not going to roll around with a boy, but he gets mad and says "What, think you're too old?" I just had to teach this little snot a lesson in respect after that, so I invite him inside, clear some space in my living room, and we had a match. Like I said, I had the advantage at the time, being bigger, stronger, and of course way more experienced, but Justin, he was such a scrapper even then, very talented, and he gave me a run for my money. I don't know how long we wrestled, a good ten, fifteen minutes at least, but by the end we were both exhausted. I was finally able to put him to sleep with a headscissor hold, which of course meant he still had to hang around for a while before he came all the way back, because you can't just kick someone out when they pass out; you have to make sure they're still healthy first. So, as he's coming back around, he just nagging me with questions about what it was like wrestling back in the old days and letting me reminice. The whole experience made me realize how much I miss the fun of getting tangled with other people, and getting tangled with them in other ways afterwards *knowing chuck,* and this kid was making me think that I could still do all that, bless him. He later takes me to meet his mama, lovely woman, very...masculine, but in an enticing way. She offers me more work doing wrestling matches and that's where I am today.

Now, to answer the question more properly, I would say the most one-sided fight I've been in and won wasn't even a proper match. I had apparently wandered into the wrong bar when I was in the South, and this gaggle of middle-class soccer moms, three of them, were at one end of the bar, probably some ladies night out and they were already reeking of booze. I guess one of them figured me as a lesbian and they started in on me just as I was getting into my first drink. Some words were exchanged, I got shoved, and the fight was on. Now, you don't "win" a bar fight; you're just the last to get away before the cops come, and I most certainly did that, right after I had fed a barstool to the one who called be a "dyke." After that, I got the hell out of town and never went back. Wish I could say this was an unusual story, but when you ain't normal, you better know how to scrap.

Another question for Lucia: Knowing your experience out in the field, do you have a preference for a certain type of weapon? Assault rifles, shotguns, pistols etc.

Lucia: Weapons are specialized for certain situations. I like the utility and the authority of a shotgun, but of course it's not good at range or if your targets have body armor. My preferred long arm is the SCAR, which I am familiar with from serving in Special Forces, and my favorite sidearm is the Five-seveN.

Hey Levi,

What did Lucia say when you came home and the sliding glass door was shattered?

Levi: She just looked at me and asked me to come back later, so I did. I think she was...in shock or something, because she had some toast but she wasn't eating it or anything. I just don't ask.

To Justin,

Which of your two wives are better for ssnuggles?

Justin: What did I do to you to deserve this?

Teach your daughter foul language.

Denis. Would you ever go for a cruise with a rat??

Denís: I would take a rat on every cruise, that way I'm first to the lifeboat if I see them fleeing the ship.

For Kattie. Has there ever been an opponent that you've just never been able to take down or overwhelm with your useful 'offense'?

Kattie: Ugh, Justin. That big lunk has so many counters, and he keeps such a cool head even when aroused, that I've never been able to put him to sleep in a fair one-on-one contest, even back when we were more evenly matched in size and strength. He had already cut his teeth on his mother, and uuuuugh, don't get me started on her.

*dreamy sigh* Never not fun to try, though.

How many ribs has Cher removed?

One, which she used to make Allman and Woman.

Not worth the investment, if I'm honest.