FA+
Shop
Life/art updates and grief
3 years ago
I dont make journals but june was a horrible month for me. It's really hard to create art now and I'm really sorry to those waiting on art from me.
To try and sum it up as fast and as easy as possible. Early June i was in a near fatal car accident with my two best friends and my boyfriend. We were all pretty much fine with no serious injuries but the car was completely totaled after we popped a rear tire going down a steep mountain and slammed into a semi. It's been difficult drawing because my left shoulder was injured in the accident and I haven't been able to get it looked at yet. My shoulder aches and causes my arm to go numb from my shoulder to my fingers and causes me to have a very weak grip. It's not my dominant hand but regardless it's effected my ability to work since sitting at and leaning over my ipad/desk causes it to act up and hurt enough that it's distracting me and damaging my work flow. The trauma of the experience has effected me heavily as well.
Monday I also received a call from my brother (whom i haven't had contact with in years) and he told me that our grandma passed away. It's hitting me really hard and I'm mentally exhausted and the emotional pain has been debilitating. I lost my grandpa to covid in 2019 and this is digging up those feelings of grief as well. Regrets are a poisons tonic and I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I have no idea if she was hospitalize and no one told me, or if she passed peacefully. I don't know if there will be a funeral since no one told me what ended up happening with my grandpa in regards to that as well. I have a wonderful support system but regardless the lack of relationship i have with any of my family has left me feeling isolated in my own emotions. It's like being trapped in a room with a tiny window i can only look through and watch the people around me. I feel so very alone..
I'll keep rambling forever if i don't cut this short, but thank you to anyone who reads this and thank you for your patience with me.
I'm just not okay.
Its a lot to process at once with just the crash itself but my condolences to your grandma passing. I hope someone reaches out to talk to you about arrangements but you can always make your own when your ready. My grandma passed a few months ago as well and coming from a (small) place of understanding all I can say is just take it one day at a time. There love is not lost or forgotten, as cheesy as it sounds but its true. I wish the best for you Tabris and your friends and partner!! Well be here for you!!