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Looking back on the paths not taken
3 years ago
It's funny, there have been a few major life altering decision in my life. The kind that I had to put hours into thinking about, deciding on what I was going to do and what the outcome would be. The last major one was maybe 16 years ago, give or take, a choice where, after a lot of thought and soul searching, I decided not to take. I was sure that I would regret it later on, but I just couldn't make myself take the final step. Maybe I wasn't brave enough, or bold enough, or just willing to risk so much, but it was something I decided not to do.
Yet looking back on it, I can't help but think that was the right choice in the end. If I had gone down that route, I don't think things would have been any better for me in the long run, that it wouldn't have given me what I was hoping that it would. In the end I had to make a different choice, and while it will leave a part of me feeling out of alignment with the rest of me, I think I'm happier the way I am.
Yet looking back on it, I can't help but think that was the right choice in the end. If I had gone down that route, I don't think things would have been any better for me in the long run, that it wouldn't have given me what I was hoping that it would. In the end I had to make a different choice, and while it will leave a part of me feeling out of alignment with the rest of me, I think I'm happier the way I am.
I believe one key thing to always remember is that, you are where you are now all because of what you did (or didn't) do prior. It's always so easy to look back on something and feel like you, "Should have done that..." but it's too easy to forget that your NOW would be almost completely different had you done so. Things could have gone better or worse or whatever, but you can guarantee they'd have been different. You can never change 'just one piece'.
Plus, as I've realized myself recently, a decision made in the past based on the totality of your life at that time, which was the best thing to do THEN...may be something you can revisit again in the present, or future. If the desire was always there, and still is...there's no reason not to try again during more favorable times. Sure, not everything allows for 'second chances', but if you can have one...at least definitely consider it. <3