Been off to see family this weekend. See my baby niece and how much she has grown. Just hang out with people and get myself away from my phone and computer cuz rest of the time I’m left alone cuz I live so far away. We even went to a Medieval Fair and a haunted castle.

I knew I would come out of it incredibly sore and fatigued once back home, but definitely worth it.

Did come with a lot of introspective too, cuz was first time really facing my family after openly reporting on my current status with fibromyalgia since the last downward spiral in health.

Being chronic middle child was a bit jarring with all the attention. And a sense of confused panic in me from all the promises of help I was given.

I’m not used to let others help me. I’m more used to be the helper myself. The assistant, the pack mule, the supplies runner, the comforter, the quiet one trying their hardest to not take up more space than ‘earned’.

Getting a big reminder that changed A LOT now, even if I do recover I can’t expect to return to any old normal, only hope to stabilize. And as much as I know everyone means well, I have a strong suspicion not all promises will be kept, least of all once the novelty of chronic illness wears off.

So, just a lot of things I have to work on unlearning from myself, while adjusting expectations as well. Once everything settled healthwise and whatever the state figures is best for me if I can’t work, I’ll be moving back to my home region to at least be close to my family again. That alone is a lot to juggle with, so I rather just focus on one step at a time and just try not push myself in the process.

Just a lil update on things.

Also my grandmother provided me a full starter kit to decoupage after hearing I haven’t been able to draw for weeks now cuz of what the fm is doing to my limbs. Might give it a try once I’ve recovered from the trip and family gathering.