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Update: Fuck
3 years ago
Things aren't going too well. I mentioned the incoming troubles in this journal (https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10269739/), but it's easy to summarize here. Despite having no income and never receiving any up to this point, I got rejected for financial aid for being in school too long. That was basically my last hope for income. I've appealed it and applied for disability, but they said that takes eight weeks, and I need a new place to live before then. And applying to jobs, obviously, but when even wal*mart won't hire me, well...
I asked for support in the other journal, but honestly there's no way I could get enough in time. I didn't expect or want to, either. I know how building an audience goes, so I don't expect to get enough to make this a job for at least a few years, if ever. If I'm being totally honest, asking for money feels like shit, too. I've gotten more support on my work recently than I ever thought, and turning around to try monetizing it feels like cheapening it. Even if it comes from a place of desperation. Sure, labor is labor, but I dunno. I'm sure every creative feels the same and just powers through it.
So, yeah. I'm really not sharing this to get pity bucks, and you'll just have to trust me on that. I really don't know why I'm sharing this. Mostly just screaming into the void since I know people don't really read journals (I barely do, either, lol). I guess to explain any sudden drop in activity. I have been posting a lot more recently, so I don't know how much of that I can keep up for a while. At least until any of it's stabilized.
The worst part is this entire financial tailspin started because my dad died. I never had a great relationship with him, but I would've hoped I'd have a place to live until the body was cold. Family says they love and support me until I explain what's actually happening, and they look at me like I'm full of shit. No, actually, going to the place didn't spontaneously convince the manager to hire me. Shit like my brother telling me I'm stagnating over the phone while no one steps in to support me or tell him to fuck off. Of course they wouldn't, though. If calling me a sexual degenerate wasn't enough to perk their ears, I doubt anything would.
Everything is falling apart around me. I've always tried to have faith things will work out. Somehow. It's hard when everywhere I look is another opportunity closing right before my eyes.
If anyone reads this, just know I really do appreciate that you like my stuff. If nothing else, I've made art that people love. A lot more people than I expected. It was the dream ever since I was a kid, and I accomplished it in at least a small way. I still hope I'm just getting started, but at least I have works to be proud of. Every favorite and follow makes me feel heard, like someone out there felt the same things I did when I made it. It's a kind of time travel, to send your heart into a void and let someone else connect to what you created. No matter how much time passes, the connection is there. It persists even if I don't.
So, genuinely, thank you for whatever support you've given me up to this point. I hope I can keep it up and repay y'all with more art, stories, whatever, but regardless, thank you for everything. I'll see ya 'round.
I asked for support in the other journal, but honestly there's no way I could get enough in time. I didn't expect or want to, either. I know how building an audience goes, so I don't expect to get enough to make this a job for at least a few years, if ever. If I'm being totally honest, asking for money feels like shit, too. I've gotten more support on my work recently than I ever thought, and turning around to try monetizing it feels like cheapening it. Even if it comes from a place of desperation. Sure, labor is labor, but I dunno. I'm sure every creative feels the same and just powers through it.
So, yeah. I'm really not sharing this to get pity bucks, and you'll just have to trust me on that. I really don't know why I'm sharing this. Mostly just screaming into the void since I know people don't really read journals (I barely do, either, lol). I guess to explain any sudden drop in activity. I have been posting a lot more recently, so I don't know how much of that I can keep up for a while. At least until any of it's stabilized.
The worst part is this entire financial tailspin started because my dad died. I never had a great relationship with him, but I would've hoped I'd have a place to live until the body was cold. Family says they love and support me until I explain what's actually happening, and they look at me like I'm full of shit. No, actually, going to the place didn't spontaneously convince the manager to hire me. Shit like my brother telling me I'm stagnating over the phone while no one steps in to support me or tell him to fuck off. Of course they wouldn't, though. If calling me a sexual degenerate wasn't enough to perk their ears, I doubt anything would.
Everything is falling apart around me. I've always tried to have faith things will work out. Somehow. It's hard when everywhere I look is another opportunity closing right before my eyes.
If anyone reads this, just know I really do appreciate that you like my stuff. If nothing else, I've made art that people love. A lot more people than I expected. It was the dream ever since I was a kid, and I accomplished it in at least a small way. I still hope I'm just getting started, but at least I have works to be proud of. Every favorite and follow makes me feel heard, like someone out there felt the same things I did when I made it. It's a kind of time travel, to send your heart into a void and let someone else connect to what you created. No matter how much time passes, the connection is there. It persists even if I don't.
So, genuinely, thank you for whatever support you've given me up to this point. I hope I can keep it up and repay y'all with more art, stories, whatever, but regardless, thank you for everything. I'll see ya 'round.
