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hi
3 years ago
writing a journal at 4am bc i'm randomly melancholic about the old days is something huh
idk why i come back here every now and then to just. release thoughts into the ether. maybe cus most ppl who know me don't really look here. i can air things out that they don't really need to know about or would care to.
went looking through my old DA accounts for something and just... got dragged down a memory path. about being young, about being there then here. about people i don't talk to now, things that were consistent and now nonexistent. its weird.
maybe cus i'm going through a lot of changes in my life. trying to grow up, trying to move on and out and find a real place in my life that feels steady and tangible. constantly having days where i want what i'm aiming for, then having days where i want to try surviving off online work and interactions. all of it kinda scary.
again, i don't know why i'm here for this. who is gonna read this? most people i know i think are primarily on twitter these days. but maybe FA is different.
i have times, like these, where i think 'maybe i should revive this account' but i know i don't have the time or considerable motivation to do so. idk.
i guess i just got sentimental.
idk why i come back here every now and then to just. release thoughts into the ether. maybe cus most ppl who know me don't really look here. i can air things out that they don't really need to know about or would care to.
went looking through my old DA accounts for something and just... got dragged down a memory path. about being young, about being there then here. about people i don't talk to now, things that were consistent and now nonexistent. its weird.
maybe cus i'm going through a lot of changes in my life. trying to grow up, trying to move on and out and find a real place in my life that feels steady and tangible. constantly having days where i want what i'm aiming for, then having days where i want to try surviving off online work and interactions. all of it kinda scary.
again, i don't know why i'm here for this. who is gonna read this? most people i know i think are primarily on twitter these days. but maybe FA is different.
i have times, like these, where i think 'maybe i should revive this account' but i know i don't have the time or considerable motivation to do so. idk.
i guess i just got sentimental.
I still use that art you made for me all those years ago.
The past defines us, even if we change a lot and move on to other places. It's nice going through old places, seeing that sense of growth and excitement, the people we used to know and still hold onto, Exploring bold new things. It's easy to get caught up in it and ask "Man, what happened" and think about how much happier we were back then. Just remember those are rose tinted goggles, and a lot of the same fears about the future and looking back fondly on the old days you did back then, too.
As for the stuff you look back on and kinda miss? There's no reason you can't have both. It was something that was a constant back then, sure, but maybe now your life can have just a sprinkling of what you are so nostalgic for now. Kinda like seasoning a good dish. I used to do a lot of writing when I was a teenager and I'm slowly getting back into that. ^^
Weirdly I went back to DA last week for the first time in like....yeaaaars. Its totally different now its weird.
I think theres nothing wrong with looking back at stuff and im sure if you started posting here again people would be thrilled to see your work but yeah life shifts and changes and takes us all different directions and thats not good or bad its just life
Looks like everyone read it
FA is amazing like that. You leave your account dormant for years. You think everyone on the internet must have forgotten about it, but no.
FA is waaay less active than Twitter, but FA still has some of that old school internet charm.
I guess, having a several years long online presence messes with our thoughts a bit, specially if this was your income for a long while.
Hey, these thoughts are appreciated, they are VERY relatable!
I do wish for the old internet from time to time. I wish it was less edgy, but it deffo had its peak and it was nice.
Its hard. It really is.