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What's Going On + Where I've Been
3 years ago
I typically don't like making journals like this. Often I feel like it leads people to believe that I'm putting out excuses or seeking pity for my current situation. I usually pride myself on being as transparent as possible with commissioners, friends, family, ect. with everything going on in my life but I've fallen behind on this. Truthfully I feel terrible for not having reached out to commissioners which is why I am posting here on FA to let everyone know what exactly is happening.
I'm burned out.
I'm doing everything within my power to go and work on art for commissioners but every time I stare at the screen or the paper, I feel such a burning inside of me. I become frustrated nothing is coming out correctly. I've been working on the same commission for a month. It's been agonizing to try and get back into the swing of it all. After going through a recent depression combined with suicidal ideations, trying to create has been more of a chore than something I enjoy. And god do I hate it.
In the next week or two, I'm going to try and work on personal art and see if that helps me. A good majority of art I've done in the past year has been commission based. The only things I've created for myself have been messy sketchy concepts for my OC's world and story. See if it helps me to get this spark back to be able to finish up what is on my list. I hate my turnaround times aren't as good as they normally are. I want to create for people but I need to get over this hump.
I'm sorry if this journal seems like I'm whining. I just wanted to update everyone on what exactly is going on. I'm going to work towards getting back to it. I promise. Especially because my commissions will become even more limited while I work on finally opening up the Patreon for my passion project. I work on it a little bit during my lunches (I work full-time so my hr lunch is the best time for me to do things for it) and I'm excited to get through this and finally share it with the world.
If anyone needs to contact me, send me a note or contact me on TG or Twitter and I'll get back to you as soon as I possibly can.
- Gus