Today, have been a hell of a day..

I been told my real father took his own life last night. I don't know how I feel.. Heartbroken is on the list.
Yes, he been out of my life for so long. But I was trying to reach out to him...

It started three weeks ago, I had a dream that I found out that he died, woke up, told my mom about it, because it freaked me out. Because sometimes mine and her dreams can be signs... Well she got in touch with my friend's father. Because he is good friends with my real father. My real father was alive..

Then about last Monday, I get the dream/idea to want to get a picture of him. So.. told my mom, she told me she will look into it. Yesterday, she just got his number, asked me if I was sure that I wanted this. I told her yes.

Well he killed himself at 7pm.. My mother texted him at 8pm... An hour later.. My stepbrother had my real father's phone and told my mother today.

So.. Looks like my dream was really a sign.. I'm not okay...
I got so many mix up feelings right now.

I hate that he never reached out to me...

P.S. Yes, I know I copy it from my main account. I know some people don't follow my first main account and that's okay.
So I'm just telling you from here too.