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General Update
3 years ago
CW: mention of depression
Good afternoon all, hope this Thursday finds you well, I just completed my last commission on that list! (That's not unusual, but it is unusual for me to spend 25 hours on something! So I hope you enjoy it when it get's posted!) And I'm looking at my built up emails and mssgs on here and don't know where to start.
This is just a bit of a general catch up journal, my head has been all over the place recently, and current world and UK events have really been taking their toll on my mental heath, I've dealt with depression since I was about 15, but this is the first time it's hit me hard and I've struggled to find some way to bolster my self up, 15 year old me didn't have to deal with such on-the-doorstep climate change effects and the would-be-PM of his country saying people who 'hate' the UK should be deprogrammed, while all their future goals and aspirations are taken out from under them by brexshit =_=; (shout out to 15 year old me who didn't think it could get worse).
And then on a more personal level everything is feeling very... unfocused. For a long time "get job in aerospace, get licence" was all I wanted, but last year as you know we lost our Bodmin site to a fire, the plan had been that when I got my licence I'd take over the site eventually... now, just as I was thinking about throwing in the towel and maybe going full-time-artist... my licence finally arrives and giving up now feels like a waste, but I'm so tired of the terrible way our company is run, and there are so few options in my area, which I love dearly--I wouldn't be against moving, but lets face it, I'd always wanted to try living/working in Europe, and now that's 100x more difficult, particularly when you're not actually a beacon of desirable skills.
The long and the short of it is... I don't know what I want. But this ain't it.
Currently thinking of just seeing out the year, either the calendar year or the tax year, I'm not sure yet, with recent developments at work I can honestly see the company going under from being spread too thin, too incompetently.
I still really like the idea of getting into fantasy book covers (hmu if you need someone!) and I'm enjoying my artwork a lot right now, so of COURSE I have to now spend one week a month away from home with no wifi...
I'm also having fun modelling something in blender right now, a bit of a personal challenge, and I've got back into running again cos my favourite jeans got tight and I'm mad about it.
I'm probably only going to take 1 commission at a time for the foreseeable future, if work is going to take up so much of my time I don't want anyone left hanging while I get through my list, it makes me anxious and sad. So I'll be kickstarting my wait list today (probably) to try to make that task simpler.
I super miss doing sketches for my Subscribers, so I'm thinking my time without wifi MIGHT be a good time to start doing that again, but I did find if I tried to save the art then joined wifi, it would just eat the file entirely, so maybe not digitally...
So yeah, lots I want to do, lots I'm utterly lost on, and even less time and energy than usual.
And honest to god if anyone has any experience moving abroad for work/living I'd actually be really interested in your experiences, I can be super stubborn about getting things DONE once I'm started, but very prone to giving up in the early stages. I'm increasingly looking at Norway and the Netherlands, though haven't yet had a chance to visit the places in question and actually hang out there at all (yay work, and also prioritising trips abroad to see my SO TTwTT--unfortunately my SO is in the USA which is... not at place I'm in love with honestly. Sorry. Otherwise I might be more up to considering just going there.)
TL:DR:
I'm depressed and work is getting me down and the world is on fire and I'm not skilled or in a decent enough job to pursue any of the things I want to do but also art and creating stuff is awesome.
Good afternoon all, hope this Thursday finds you well, I just completed my last commission on that list! (That's not unusual, but it is unusual for me to spend 25 hours on something! So I hope you enjoy it when it get's posted!) And I'm looking at my built up emails and mssgs on here and don't know where to start.
This is just a bit of a general catch up journal, my head has been all over the place recently, and current world and UK events have really been taking their toll on my mental heath, I've dealt with depression since I was about 15, but this is the first time it's hit me hard and I've struggled to find some way to bolster my self up, 15 year old me didn't have to deal with such on-the-doorstep climate change effects and the would-be-PM of his country saying people who 'hate' the UK should be deprogrammed, while all their future goals and aspirations are taken out from under them by brexshit =_=; (shout out to 15 year old me who didn't think it could get worse).
And then on a more personal level everything is feeling very... unfocused. For a long time "get job in aerospace, get licence" was all I wanted, but last year as you know we lost our Bodmin site to a fire, the plan had been that when I got my licence I'd take over the site eventually... now, just as I was thinking about throwing in the towel and maybe going full-time-artist... my licence finally arrives and giving up now feels like a waste, but I'm so tired of the terrible way our company is run, and there are so few options in my area, which I love dearly--I wouldn't be against moving, but lets face it, I'd always wanted to try living/working in Europe, and now that's 100x more difficult, particularly when you're not actually a beacon of desirable skills.
The long and the short of it is... I don't know what I want. But this ain't it.
Currently thinking of just seeing out the year, either the calendar year or the tax year, I'm not sure yet, with recent developments at work I can honestly see the company going under from being spread too thin, too incompetently.
I still really like the idea of getting into fantasy book covers (hmu if you need someone!) and I'm enjoying my artwork a lot right now, so of COURSE I have to now spend one week a month away from home with no wifi...
I'm also having fun modelling something in blender right now, a bit of a personal challenge, and I've got back into running again cos my favourite jeans got tight and I'm mad about it.
I'm probably only going to take 1 commission at a time for the foreseeable future, if work is going to take up so much of my time I don't want anyone left hanging while I get through my list, it makes me anxious and sad. So I'll be kickstarting my wait list today (probably) to try to make that task simpler.
I super miss doing sketches for my Subscribers, so I'm thinking my time without wifi MIGHT be a good time to start doing that again, but I did find if I tried to save the art then joined wifi, it would just eat the file entirely, so maybe not digitally...
So yeah, lots I want to do, lots I'm utterly lost on, and even less time and energy than usual.
And honest to god if anyone has any experience moving abroad for work/living I'd actually be really interested in your experiences, I can be super stubborn about getting things DONE once I'm started, but very prone to giving up in the early stages. I'm increasingly looking at Norway and the Netherlands, though haven't yet had a chance to visit the places in question and actually hang out there at all (yay work, and also prioritising trips abroad to see my SO TTwTT--unfortunately my SO is in the USA which is... not at place I'm in love with honestly. Sorry. Otherwise I might be more up to considering just going there.)
TL:DR:
I'm depressed and work is getting me down and the world is on fire and I'm not skilled or in a decent enough job to pursue any of the things I want to do but also art and creating stuff is awesome.
Also no, don't come to the U.S. (Not that I wouldn't want you here you are amazing!!) It's a literal hell hole atm >:(
The US and the UK seem to be in lock step for being the worst tyre fire right now, you have my sympathies.
I lived and worked in Japan as an "assistant English teacher" (ALT) in public schools. The pay is roughly $20k USD per year, which really ain't great considering a 4 year degree (in literally any subject) is required.
I think a lot of people have the wrong image of Japan. It's an extraordinarily conservative society with a huge emphasis on work and putting in as many hours as possible. Working in Japan as a foreigner means that you will be exploited. Loved the country, loved the people, culture, and language. However, I despise the "literally die at your desk" work culture.
Decided to get into IT during my time in Japan. Coding didn't make me want to poke my eyes out and it would allow me to live and work wherever I wanted for a decent wage. That was very appealing!
Came back to the USA to build up my experience and finances. Spent all I had on a coding bootcamp. It's a 12 week program to give you the basic coding skills to get into development, databases, or QA. 100% worth going to a coding bootcamp, just be sure to do your research, try learning on your own first, and make sure the school is legit and worth it.
In 2019 I was trying to move to either the Netherlands or Berlin, Germany. If you have the skills, their labor markets seem pretty accessible even if you're outside the EU like me. All of their IT work is pretty much 100% in English as well. I went to an intensive Dutch school in the Netherlands just to learn more about their culture and see if I liked it. Neat place, but didn't really mesh with Dutch culture that well I guess?
In just ten days though, I'm making my next move! I'm going to Canada for grad school as an international student. I'm going to do two graduate certificates in IT back to back. They're like mini-Masters degrees that only take 1 year. I can work in Canada 20 hours a week while in school, and when I graduate, I can self-sponsor a work permit for 3 years.
I can apply to become a "Permanent Resident" after I graduate, and with a 3 year long runway to make that happen, it seems like it'll be hard to mess up.
Canada checks all of my boxes... unlimited outdoor recreation opportunities, years if not decades more progressive than the USA, and I feel like I could fit right in. I'm just a queer little pothead who is going to be a future house-husband. I want a boring life. I'm not really escaping the issues in the USA, I'm just exchanging them for Canadian issues. Seems like a good trade at the moment!
Anyway, this is a word salad. None of this was easy, or free, and it requires dedication and planning. It's tough, but totally possible for anyone willing to get into a specialized career!