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Ant Rant
3 years ago
General
I had a mental breakdown tonight. For the past 2 weeks now I haven't been sleeping... pretty much at all. Not because of the crippling loneliness. Not because of the panic attacks of thinking of the inevitability of death. But because of literally the smallest reason. Ants!
I...
fucking...
HATE...
ants....
If I found a magic lamp, my first wish would be that every ant on the planet would be instantly teleported to the sun. They contribute nothing to our world except for misery... and I don't wanna hear any bumblebee bullshit about how ants are an essential part of our thriving eco system. "Natures little janitors" as I've been told. Fuck that! Ants are yet another confirmation to me that there is no God, because a just and loving creator of the universe would have never let this shit slide. Think of the logic behind a fucking ant for just a second. Does an ant have a soul? When an ant dies does it go to ant Heaven where it gets to eat all the desserts it wants? Does an ant have dreams or ambition or hopes for the future? NO! It only serves 2 functions, protect it's Queen and finding food for the Queen. These pussy-whipped micro assholes ruin everything just for THAT!
Living in California for 99% of my life, the ONE problem that stays consistent no matter where I have been is fucking ANTS. Living where I currently am now, it didn't use to be this bad. They'd get into the kitchen for food. They'd get into the bathroom for water. And that was it. But now they're in my fucking bed. Crawling on my body. And because of that I also will get "phantom crawls" where there's nothing there, but it FEEL like there is, so I cannot sleep. And believe me I've tried many different things; pet and human safe poison sprays, ant traps, peppermint oil, eucalyptus oil, D-Earth, I've tried washing my bed spread and all the pillows. NOTHING works! For every ONE ant I kill, TEN more take it's place. The absolute worst part is that I don't even know where they're coming in from! They just teleport all over in random spots. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY LOOKING FOR!?! What is so god damn tasty in my fucking bed!? ME!?
And don't get me wrong, I don't HATE all bugs, alright. I try not to kill spiders, or grasshoppers, or praying mantis', or beetles. I especially like beetles, beetles are cool. But ants I kill immediately with no hesitation. With the exception of flies, every other bug has at least some sort of "bug honor" to me. Spiders stay out of the way and take up barely any space in small corners. Beetles won't go inside your house unless it was an accident same goes for grasshoppers and praying mantis.' Even the shitty ones like roaches and house centipedes only come out after all the lights are off. But ants are so fucking brain dead they'll try to eat your food while you're eating it. "What's this? A colossal giant is eating chicken wings? Well those wings smell way too delicious! I'm getting in on this. I'll leave a scent trail so the other 10,000 boys can get in on this too!"
Seriously! Fuck ants! My only regret is that I didn't burn more of them with a magnifying glass when I was a kid.
I...
fucking...
HATE...
ants....
If I found a magic lamp, my first wish would be that every ant on the planet would be instantly teleported to the sun. They contribute nothing to our world except for misery... and I don't wanna hear any bumblebee bullshit about how ants are an essential part of our thriving eco system. "Natures little janitors" as I've been told. Fuck that! Ants are yet another confirmation to me that there is no God, because a just and loving creator of the universe would have never let this shit slide. Think of the logic behind a fucking ant for just a second. Does an ant have a soul? When an ant dies does it go to ant Heaven where it gets to eat all the desserts it wants? Does an ant have dreams or ambition or hopes for the future? NO! It only serves 2 functions, protect it's Queen and finding food for the Queen. These pussy-whipped micro assholes ruin everything just for THAT!
Living in California for 99% of my life, the ONE problem that stays consistent no matter where I have been is fucking ANTS. Living where I currently am now, it didn't use to be this bad. They'd get into the kitchen for food. They'd get into the bathroom for water. And that was it. But now they're in my fucking bed. Crawling on my body. And because of that I also will get "phantom crawls" where there's nothing there, but it FEEL like there is, so I cannot sleep. And believe me I've tried many different things; pet and human safe poison sprays, ant traps, peppermint oil, eucalyptus oil, D-Earth, I've tried washing my bed spread and all the pillows. NOTHING works! For every ONE ant I kill, TEN more take it's place. The absolute worst part is that I don't even know where they're coming in from! They just teleport all over in random spots. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY LOOKING FOR!?! What is so god damn tasty in my fucking bed!? ME!?
And don't get me wrong, I don't HATE all bugs, alright. I try not to kill spiders, or grasshoppers, or praying mantis', or beetles. I especially like beetles, beetles are cool. But ants I kill immediately with no hesitation. With the exception of flies, every other bug has at least some sort of "bug honor" to me. Spiders stay out of the way and take up barely any space in small corners. Beetles won't go inside your house unless it was an accident same goes for grasshoppers and praying mantis.' Even the shitty ones like roaches and house centipedes only come out after all the lights are off. But ants are so fucking brain dead they'll try to eat your food while you're eating it. "What's this? A colossal giant is eating chicken wings? Well those wings smell way too delicious! I'm getting in on this. I'll leave a scent trail so the other 10,000 boys can get in on this too!"
Seriously! Fuck ants! My only regret is that I didn't burn more of them with a magnifying glass when I was a kid.
had clear and blue, think clear stopped working, odd they would get smart or tired of one and they take forever
I find it easier to let them go and leave on their own so I don't need to clean them up and wash everything from the bug spray, ha ha~