kinda part 1? def would recommend reading first for context https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10284326

Oh gosh I'm not even sure where to start. I'm using voice to text now (forgive typos) because it's just gonna be too hard to type. This is just kind of going to be a debriefing of sorts for myself and I hope that this will bring joy to those of you who share similar sentiments about pregnancy and parenthood~ BUT how to say... I don't want this to be treated like some sort of adult magazine bragging letter, it's not intended to be some fap novel and although I can't control how people interpret it, I kindly request that you keep any sort of sexual comments to yourself. I am sharing an personally intimate moment and I would appreciate that respect.

SO! for context me and some friends had scheduled kinda one last game night together. The joke being we hoped the baby would stay put and cooperate. We had such a blast together as we haven't all hung out together in quite some time, think like almost pre COVID since the entire gang had been together all in one place.

Throughout the night she had kind of called people over individually to feel some kicks and flutters, it was really interesting to see how different people reacted. Ranging from surprise, excitement, mild fear? It was just really cool to observe! I got my chance to although the baby was definitely not that cooperative and kind of playing possum, my friend said she was definitely shifting around but no solid movements that someone would be able to feel externally very well.

Her and I were chatting briefly as a game was being set-up and one of our friends looked up for their phone and commented something along the lines of "dude how like how do you know all this stuff? This is like hearing a doctor and patient discuss" that really caught me off guard but definitely made me realize how odd it must be for a single guy to be able to participate in a conversation involving preeclampsia and Braxton Hicks haha. I panicked slightly and said that a good friend was studying to be a midwife and I had helped them do like flash card stuff for one of their exams and some of the information just kind of rubbed off.

So party was a blast, much fun was had. As fate would have it my car was entirely blocked in so I was the last one to leave. So we were standing outside chatting in the driveway at like 1 in the morning, I don't recall exactly how we got onto the subject but I thanked her again for what she did for me last time I visited, and got to explain to her my stance. How I appreciated her letting me feel like she did last time when I was over and how it helped to breakdown barriers I had developed over the years about this fascination of mine. How to me, I know I want to be a parent and to me pregnancy also represents like a physical bond between two people, I motioned to her belly something along the lines of "I mean like here you are loving a man so much that you're willing to carry a piece of him inside you and bear a child with him. And he's so deeply in love with you that he chooses you to be the bearer of his child".

it was dark but the way she reacted I think she might have blushed? She gave me a hug and said it was a really sweet way to describe it and she said that as a woman it was something amazing for a guy to say to her. she said that she had no doubt that when I meet a special girl someday I'm gonna melt her heart when I tell her that. She said that she knew I had an deep appreciation for it, something like "I know you have some sort of pregnant furry appreciation page on deviantart and I remember there was alot of wholesome stuff". haha Im glad it was dark because I definitly blushed at that >..>

She apologised that the baby wasn't very active, she probably tired herself out in the car that day because she was really kicky during errands but kind of napping and lazily stretching during the party, which she said was surprising because all the new voices she had thought would get a reaction. I mentioned how last time we had spoke I had asked about using a stethoscope, and that I had brought one with me if she wasn't feeling too exhausted. Her eyes kind of lit up and she was like "oh that's right, yeah let's give that a try I'm curious about that too!"

I couldn't have asked for a better backdrop, it was just so quiet, private, laid back and chill AF. Two good friends sharing a moment together.

Something that caught me off guard, and certainly not the first time this would happen tonight, was that she excused herself and came back in her PJ's, baggy flannel pajama pants and a very 'form fitting' elastic tank top. Like the way she walked back over and happily said "you'll be able to feel her a lot better now!" caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting this level of openness? I knew nothing remotely sexual was going to happen between us, it's just I wasn't expecting her to be so unpromptedly accommodating I guess the word is?

So we both sat down on the edge of the couch, she had her legs together and was sitting as upright as she could and in her own words, "she hates it when I drive and gets super kicky because she gets squished when I have to sit in a car seat and work the pedals, so if I try to recreate that position I think she'll liven up for you!" I'll admit I was taken aback from her kind of taking the reins like this, I was expecting like a couple minutes of trying to encourage a kick but she seem to be genuinely enjoying the experience and going the distance. I told her that I wanted her to take the lead, that I appreciated her accommodating me and I want to respect any boundaries she has. Again I specify that for someone who is fairly conservative I was just surprised at this energy from her, this genuineness of wanting to share I was not expecting! unexpected but certainly not unwelcome.

"Yeah man just go ahead and feel around! You can feel her feet over here *motions* and then her butt is sticking up over here *motions* , just avoid the belly button please that is really sensitive, I'm definitely feeling the strain and it's almost uncomfortably sensitive so yeah just avoid there". This certainly won't be the first time in this journal I'm lost for words, but I just got to sit there and for lack of a better word just kind of manipulate and explore the various areas of firmness! Where the baby's butt was pressed, the curve of her back, the little jabby nubs of her feet. At one point I kind of got to gently 'grab' one of her feet through her belly and felt it quickly dart back inside before kicking back at my fingers! She kind of made this "hooooH" noise and grab my hands and place them on either side of her belly and I got to feel the baby just lazily shift from one side of her belly to the other and it was just so amazing that there was this little person just beneath my hands!

This went on for a little while as we were chatting, she said that she enjoyed talking to someone who was educated, but you didn't 'outrank' her like her mother or a doctor. Like how the pregnancy has gone for her, what she's been feeling, likes and dislikes, really just making her the center of attention and letting her tell her story and share whatever she wanted. I was flattered that she was sharing with me like this. I ended up showing her some of my colorings (Logan and Jennifer) and some of the upcomming projects i have drafted. She thought it was really sweet, but then suddenly...

"OH" *hands darts to belly* " dude hand me that stethoscope, she's pressing against me real strong right here!" I'll admit it was pretty adorable watching her intently use it on herself, one hand kind of feeling around her belly while the other moved it around trying to find the heart. Like I didn't expect her to be so genuinely interested in using it on herself. She said she was having a little trouble finding it because the shirt was creating a lot of static so she offered it to me, and I'll admit I wasn't able to hear anything because of the shirt as well.

The tone shifted kind of abruptly and she apologized "sorry man I know the shirts in the way but I'm just really self-conscious about people other than (husband) and the doctor seeing my bare belly. Like I haven't even let my mom see it" she said that while she had no problem with a two piece swimsuit it's just that once she got pregnant she felt like really protected her belly and it felt like an intimate thing for people to see once she started showing. I chuckled and told her I see where she's coming from. I jokingly offered to take off my own shirt if that would help her feel more comfortable and she legit had a legit giggle and snort over that.

So I had started to put it away and she was like "hold on" which again caught me off guard, she prodded around her belly a little bit and told me to try again but lifted her shirt up ever so slightly over the area but kind of pinched the bottom of her shirt so it was just like this little triangle of bare skin being revealed. So I was listening around this area of like 2 inches and then I just hear her kind of take a deep breath and Oh my gosh, she just reclined back on the couch and pulled her shirt up.

I think out of the entire night this is what caught me most off guard, but here she was just moments ago talking about how intimate and protective her bare belly was to her but then here she was kind of hyping herself up for a moment and then just... tackling that self consciousness and taking a dive off the deep end. Something she only does for her husband and the doctor but here she was putting our friendship on the same level as that!

She relaxed quite a bit I'm sure it was quite the sight to see, her reclining and try not to laugh as she was poking around for where I was to listen. I try to listen and then the baby would wiggle away a bit and we kind of just had to 'chase' her around! "I want you to be able to hear her, but man is she just not cooperating tonight haha" gently pressing around her bellygently pressing around her belly "come on (name) I can feel you in there you little stinker, just press up against me like you did earlier for a few minutes so Logan can hear you!" I just melted because I was not expecting for her to be this open. "Sounds like she was having fun indulging you some" as one friend put it.

Unfortunately we were not able to hear her as she was just squirmy, but it definitely riled her up a bit because I got to feel some pretty pronounced movements afterwards! I had a legit "MEEP" come out of me when she landed a solid kick on my hands and felt her foot slide against my palm.

that's basically the gist of the night! We had an amazing bonding moments as friends. Afterwards I sincerely thanked her again for putting up with my antics. I told her that the experience was just so heart melting for me and I'm honored that she would share this intimate moment of her life with me. She said that she greatly enjoyed it to, it was nice to share with someone who truly appreciated the magic and was so amazed by the process. "Again like (husband) is amazed by it too don't get me wrong, but I can just go a lot more detail with you and actually have a real educated conversation about how I'm feeling, but real chill-like on a friend level and not with a doctor or my mother". "Its nice to talk someone who genuinely wants to know how I'm doing and soak it all up and be educated"

it brought alot of paternal emotions up from me and i feel changed <3

I messaged her this morning with a quick thank you of sorts and wished her the best with delivery. She said she was glad we got to experience that again for a second time, how the first time she helped me break down my barriers but the second time around i helped her break down hers! The like... mutual benefit... we both had from the experience was just the cherry atop the awesome cake. Im so so glad she walked away with as much as I did.

After this would probably just be rambling haha, I hope whoever reads this far enjoyed the read :3

*def incorperating some of these experiences and conversations into my future works, pun intended the 'hands on' experience really aided my knowledge~