Initially, I just paused the August billing cycle over on Patreon as a lot of things have happened within the past few months to slow me down, the biggest of which being damage to my kidneys that in one fell swoop put me in Stage 2 Kidney Disease. While that’s considered mild kidney disease, I have other health issues that complicate it, and it’s been a lot trying to get used to it, and trying to do what’s best for my health going forward to make sure my quality of life now is frankly IMPROVED and my life in general gets to be as long as it can be. I’m not saying this to worry anyone, these are just the facts, and anyone with the ability to WebMD things can figure it out. August in general is a busy month for me: My birthday was yesterday, it sucked and no it’s not because I’m LOL OLD NOW, my anniversary is later this month, and my father died in August. So there’s a lot of emotion in this month, and with me already being behind in my work, I knew better than to continue piling on Patreon responsibilities when I need to be knocking out current ones already. However, looking at things now and how they are going, I’ll likely be pulling the Patreon for a bit for several reasons I’m about to get into in this journal.

I have not been able to keep up with personal projects, and I think when an artist can’t do that, you’re signing on for trouble in the long run. Yes, it’s the “American Dream” if you will to find something you love to do and make a “living” doing it. But when the thing you love is both your hobby and your paycheck, the lines between work and play blur and all too often you end up doing too much of one and not enough of the other. If you end up doing too much work for others, your personal work stagnates and because so much of your personal hobby is wrapped up in your art, all you do is work. And that’s been me for literal YEARS. Every time in the recent past I said I’d take a break, I didn’t. This time I’m being firm. The details of the break will follow soon after all of this as well. Companion was something I loved doing, something that brought back my confidence in my art and proved to myself that I could learn to do things I was too afraid to do, and I have not had the time to sit down and continue it. I love the other stuff I’ve done, but Companion was/is special, and I’m not willing to let it go. It has a definite beginning, INTERMISSION, filler arc, and end, and I want to complete it. It’s an important and pivotal part of Iona’s journey and explains so much. While I would have loved to not be a dumbass lol and start her story properly, this was a good place to experiment and start if that’s where the inspiration took hold. I need to have time to be able to work on my own stuff again in addition to building a daily routine in my real life that is healthy for me. I have a life here in NJ I love now. I’m not miserable like I was in GA, and I want to enjoy being not a complete sadsack. I also have two loving dogs whose lives and happiness depend on me, and I want to do more with them. And I have another little critter I want to introduce you guys to whose life depends on mine, but that’s another story for another time. Regardless, my hands are full, really HAVE been full, but I’ve been neglecting so much because my work mean so much to me, but I can’t anymore.

My current commissions deserve priority over a lot of new paid artistic responsibilities. I will still take on small pieces like the Broncos and maybe some sketches at time permits while I knock out the old list, but these people have been very patient and friendly with me, so I’m going to concentrate on finishing what is on the list here that you can see linked in the queue on my profile. I DO NOT FORSEE MYSELF TAKING ON ANY MORE BIG PROJECTS UNTIL THESE ARE FINISHED. IF WE HAVE ENGAGED IN TALKS AND GONE SO FAR AS TO START DISCUSSING PRICING ABOUT DOING YOUR PIECE, NO SWEAT, YOU’RE INCLUDED IN THE LIST. I’VE ALREADY AGREED TO WORK FOR YOU, AND I’M NOT GOING BACK ON THAT. However, I won’t be entertaining new big pieces until these are done or at least mostly done. I will be revamping the commission menu and the prices so that everything is fair to myself and to the commissioner. My goal has always been to offer a little of everything so that people regardless of how much money they have can get something they’d like from me, and I’m going to keep it that way.

I will be delivering on my last Patreon responsibilities. I’m keeping my server up. I figure if you supported me this long in the Patreon, the least I can do is have that server. I will try to be more active in it, but probably not RIGHT now other than posting updates as they come. I WILL be finishing last month’s piece, doing the custom rewards for the highest tier, and doing a sticker design that was voted on. I have not forgotten those, and I won’t let my Patrons down on that. When the Patreon relaunches, it WILL BE RETOOLED. As of right now, I want it to be personal project driven. Of course I have my Skyrim stuff that I really want to focus on, but I also have a few other projects I want to develop and showcase there, some new characters that I think people would like to see with their own stories. I also want to find a way for people who join the patreon to be included in at least one of the projects. I know some folks do that neat thing where there are cameos in projects, and I’d love to do something like that, but I’d have to figure out the logistics of it. We’ll see. I’ve also thought about doing merchandise such as more stickers, hoodies, enamel pins, etc. As far as custom personal art and commissions through Patreon, I never want access to art from me to be through a paywall. So what will happen there is probably a discount if you are a Patron for commission work, early access to slots or special offers/commission TYPES, and IF I FEEL LIKE I’D LIKE TO DO IT, that might be the only way for people to get a slot for me to do Adult Rated artwork for them. For right now, those are the ideas I have that are relatively new for the Patreon once it goes live again. I’ll let at least let the Patreon Discord know as I have more ideas and will ask for feedback over there.

Now to the nitty gritty. I’m not in the best mental state right now. I’m much better at dealing with my various mental issues than I was not even a year ago much less like two or three or FOREVER ago, but I know from past experience, I need a break NOW or stuff is not going to get better, so I am going to be TOTALLY UNREACHABLE FOR A WEEK. Seven days. So this is not my typical “hey, you can reach me Monday through Friday, I’ll get back to you in 12-24 hours latest” type situation. This is a hard, I’m not contactable. This is not unlike if I was in the hospital, if I had a family emergency, etc. because it’s for my health to frankly keep me from having to be away for longer. IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW, MESSAGE ME TODAY. BY TOMORROW MORNING I WILL NOT BE RESPONDING. IF YOU NEED A REFUND, CONTACT ME AND WE’LL TALK ABOUT A PAYMENT PLAN IF I CANNOT REFUND YOU IN FULL RIGHT NOW. I WILL LINK THIS JOURNAL TO EVERY SITE I CAN THINK OF THAT PEOPLE HAVE MADE CONTACT WITH ME THROUGH SO THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE A CHANCE TO SEE IT.

I’d like to thank everyone for their support and their patience with me. I’m not in “crisis” right now. I’m not doing WELL, but I’m mentally healthy enough to realize that if I don’t take measures to care about myself right now, I will be in crisis, and then I won’t be good to anyone including myself for a very long while. I will still be working soon. As I said, this month is busy, a lot is going on. Pets have vet appointments, I have appointments still because of my health, husband does too, etc. While I might not be personally contactable, if things come up that are of note during this time, I will make another note of it here and I will post it to the other sites to keep folks in the know. Thank you so very very much.