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My Breakdown
3 years ago
General
I want to express what I've been through over the past 3 weeks.
For months I had had gut pain off and on so I was taking buscopan and pain killers to ease the problem. Three weeks ago I hit critical point and was in severe gut pain and so My Dad took me to A&E. Within an hour I went through triage and blood sample taken. 6 hours waiting I got an X-ray then a few hours later they said it's just constipation and went home with an appointment for a scan tomorrow. The next day I was in to much pain to move so I didn't make the appointment, called an ambulance but it would take 4-8 hours. Eventually my Dad took me back to A&E and went through the same triage and blood sample, 5 hours later and I couldn't take waiting any longer and was waiting at reception behind a guy, fortunately I got called before that and was taken to a room. Talked to the person there about my problem and said we would have to go back to the waiting room, I broke down and said I'm in too much pain and cant move so he let us stay. More hours of waiting and surgeons looking at the x-rays think I have conjunctivitis or IBS. Surgeons thought I might need surgery so we was left waiting for even more hours, a nurse drip fed me paracetamol since there wasn't any morphine. At this point it was passed midnight and my Dad was struggling having to stay seated after over 8 hours of sitting down especially sitting down over 6 hours the day before. I said for him to go home and I insisted. I ended up sleeping in the room for the night till morning when the same guy from before said they need this room and have to go into the waiting room. I grab my things and he came back never mind you can stay here. An hour later surgeons took me to a room and I guess the head surgeon examined me and said I don't need surgery and said to go home. I begged for pain relief and they gave me to paracetamol and pretty much booted me back out to the waiting room.
I walked outside and phoned my parents crying saying the kicked me out and my Dad was coming straight away, though the hospital is at least 30 mins away. I suffer with severe anxiety, depression and Asperger's of the Autism spectrum. It was a cold day and sat and cried in a corner because I couldn't handle being in the waiting room with all the people there. I had all my meds in my bag and the thought of taking them all kept crossing my mind but my Dad arrived and I went back home. My family was pissed that they just discharged me like that with my condition. My sister phoned my GP for emergency, we went there and he gave me antibiotics and some oramorph and said only use that if it's essential. I suffered with pain and my mental condition was wanting to end my life. We got an out of hours doctor to come who gave me a different set of antibiotics and diazepam.
Another day goes and I'm feeling suicidal so my sister and Dad sent me to a different hospital, waiting in the waiting room was too hellish for me so I tried to run but my sister stopped me and an guard came to make sure I don't do it again. Got through triage and a hallway so there weren't many people there for my anxiety. We went to a room and talked about the previous days so we waited there for most of the day. One of the must frustrating parts is they say I had a CT scan but I know I never but it's my word against theirs yet later they say they can find this scan. After a few hours I got a small room which was far better but my Dad and sister were tired and since they said I would be staying the night I told them to go home and see them tomorrow. An hour passes and I'm ready to sleep, people came and wanted a urine sample. they were like oh nothing wrong you can go home so I had to phone my Dad to pick me up again which is really frustrating as they only left just an hour ago. At least at this hospital they didn't just boot me out so I went home again.
The next day I was just done living and tried to end my life but my parents kept stopping me, they phoned for an ambulance and then the police, the police arrived but unless I was going to harm someone else they couldn't do anything so they left. I pretty much knocked myself out with sleeping pills till the ambulance came 8 hours later. They took me to a hospital but not beds so I ended up sleeping in the ambulance for the night. In the morning I finally got a room which was just a room with a sofa. I had barely been eating at this point because pain comes from food going through my guts so I only drank lots of water. I spent all day and night, I eventually got a bed though a cart bed but better than trying to sleep on a sofa. That night was rough, one of the patient's was delirious saying all sorts of nonsense I called the nurse for help cause it was getting to me so I got sleeping pill and managed to sleep till morning.
Woke up with a different patient saying all sorts of nonsense so my mind was losing it but eventually they got a room for me to stay at another hospital. I was put into a ward where there were about 20 patient's. Had my room with shelves, bed, toilet, sink and shower. I had a blue arm band for the electronic lock to me door. First few days was rough since I hadn't been eating and antibiotics make you feel sick. After the final antibiotics the gut pain was gone and I started to eat again. I worked towards a routine, such as when food is and meds. I spent one week in the ward before I got to see the psychiatrist. I told him my past weeks and how the pain has gone but my mental is in a bad state. He set me up with 3 diazepam a day and lorazepam if I get really bad.
2nd week of staying at the ward I got much more into a routine and left my room more often, I met my family everyday and even went out for a bit for a change of pace. When it came to see the psychiatrist again my family was allowed to join and I said the lorazepam worked better as it helps me out of really bad panic attacks instead of diazepam. I was discharged from the ward and I was nervous to coming home since last I was there I wasn't in a good place. First night was a little rough but I got through it. Yesterday went pretty well, I was catching up on all the stuff I missed on my PC and I only felt a little panicked at night and morning.
Today I went to mental health team to see what can be done to help cope through panic attacks with out having to take medication. That went ok but when we got home we had got 2 discharged papers, one before I left the ward and one on the day I left the ward with different notes of my medication so another muck up has happened and now this needs to be sorted out.
So as of now I'm home and my mind has been glued back together so only time will tell how I will do in the following weeks.
Honestly Things just went downhill since hitting 30, losing my Nana, Grandad, Mum surviving Cancer, losing my pet dog.
For months I had had gut pain off and on so I was taking buscopan and pain killers to ease the problem. Three weeks ago I hit critical point and was in severe gut pain and so My Dad took me to A&E. Within an hour I went through triage and blood sample taken. 6 hours waiting I got an X-ray then a few hours later they said it's just constipation and went home with an appointment for a scan tomorrow. The next day I was in to much pain to move so I didn't make the appointment, called an ambulance but it would take 4-8 hours. Eventually my Dad took me back to A&E and went through the same triage and blood sample, 5 hours later and I couldn't take waiting any longer and was waiting at reception behind a guy, fortunately I got called before that and was taken to a room. Talked to the person there about my problem and said we would have to go back to the waiting room, I broke down and said I'm in too much pain and cant move so he let us stay. More hours of waiting and surgeons looking at the x-rays think I have conjunctivitis or IBS. Surgeons thought I might need surgery so we was left waiting for even more hours, a nurse drip fed me paracetamol since there wasn't any morphine. At this point it was passed midnight and my Dad was struggling having to stay seated after over 8 hours of sitting down especially sitting down over 6 hours the day before. I said for him to go home and I insisted. I ended up sleeping in the room for the night till morning when the same guy from before said they need this room and have to go into the waiting room. I grab my things and he came back never mind you can stay here. An hour later surgeons took me to a room and I guess the head surgeon examined me and said I don't need surgery and said to go home. I begged for pain relief and they gave me to paracetamol and pretty much booted me back out to the waiting room.
I walked outside and phoned my parents crying saying the kicked me out and my Dad was coming straight away, though the hospital is at least 30 mins away. I suffer with severe anxiety, depression and Asperger's of the Autism spectrum. It was a cold day and sat and cried in a corner because I couldn't handle being in the waiting room with all the people there. I had all my meds in my bag and the thought of taking them all kept crossing my mind but my Dad arrived and I went back home. My family was pissed that they just discharged me like that with my condition. My sister phoned my GP for emergency, we went there and he gave me antibiotics and some oramorph and said only use that if it's essential. I suffered with pain and my mental condition was wanting to end my life. We got an out of hours doctor to come who gave me a different set of antibiotics and diazepam.
Another day goes and I'm feeling suicidal so my sister and Dad sent me to a different hospital, waiting in the waiting room was too hellish for me so I tried to run but my sister stopped me and an guard came to make sure I don't do it again. Got through triage and a hallway so there weren't many people there for my anxiety. We went to a room and talked about the previous days so we waited there for most of the day. One of the must frustrating parts is they say I had a CT scan but I know I never but it's my word against theirs yet later they say they can find this scan. After a few hours I got a small room which was far better but my Dad and sister were tired and since they said I would be staying the night I told them to go home and see them tomorrow. An hour passes and I'm ready to sleep, people came and wanted a urine sample. they were like oh nothing wrong you can go home so I had to phone my Dad to pick me up again which is really frustrating as they only left just an hour ago. At least at this hospital they didn't just boot me out so I went home again.
The next day I was just done living and tried to end my life but my parents kept stopping me, they phoned for an ambulance and then the police, the police arrived but unless I was going to harm someone else they couldn't do anything so they left. I pretty much knocked myself out with sleeping pills till the ambulance came 8 hours later. They took me to a hospital but not beds so I ended up sleeping in the ambulance for the night. In the morning I finally got a room which was just a room with a sofa. I had barely been eating at this point because pain comes from food going through my guts so I only drank lots of water. I spent all day and night, I eventually got a bed though a cart bed but better than trying to sleep on a sofa. That night was rough, one of the patient's was delirious saying all sorts of nonsense I called the nurse for help cause it was getting to me so I got sleeping pill and managed to sleep till morning.
Woke up with a different patient saying all sorts of nonsense so my mind was losing it but eventually they got a room for me to stay at another hospital. I was put into a ward where there were about 20 patient's. Had my room with shelves, bed, toilet, sink and shower. I had a blue arm band for the electronic lock to me door. First few days was rough since I hadn't been eating and antibiotics make you feel sick. After the final antibiotics the gut pain was gone and I started to eat again. I worked towards a routine, such as when food is and meds. I spent one week in the ward before I got to see the psychiatrist. I told him my past weeks and how the pain has gone but my mental is in a bad state. He set me up with 3 diazepam a day and lorazepam if I get really bad.
2nd week of staying at the ward I got much more into a routine and left my room more often, I met my family everyday and even went out for a bit for a change of pace. When it came to see the psychiatrist again my family was allowed to join and I said the lorazepam worked better as it helps me out of really bad panic attacks instead of diazepam. I was discharged from the ward and I was nervous to coming home since last I was there I wasn't in a good place. First night was a little rough but I got through it. Yesterday went pretty well, I was catching up on all the stuff I missed on my PC and I only felt a little panicked at night and morning.
Today I went to mental health team to see what can be done to help cope through panic attacks with out having to take medication. That went ok but when we got home we had got 2 discharged papers, one before I left the ward and one on the day I left the ward with different notes of my medication so another muck up has happened and now this needs to be sorted out.
So as of now I'm home and my mind has been glued back together so only time will tell how I will do in the following weeks.
Honestly Things just went downhill since hitting 30, losing my Nana, Grandad, Mum surviving Cancer, losing my pet dog.
I hold all my fingers crossed for you that from there on things will only get better fro you, big guy. **offers you big hugs**