You're not awful hun, I totally understand feeling anxious about it as it can be a lot, especially with people like that one person who blew up at you, but know that most commissions are patient and totally understand if they're not picked or stuff happens to make you not do em <3

Min you aren't awful. You're anxious, which I understand fucks with your state of mind on the matter. Like.. I know how that is first hand. Just do what you feel like you can, don't push yourself too hard fighting your own head, and remember that you don't owe it to people to do stuff you don't want.

And if things really feel that bad then take a step back and try to think of a different approach, maybe?

Make sure you don't overwork yourself ;;

Honestly I don't know how to not do that.

Self-care is key here. sometimes you need to step away from work for a day or so and just not think about it, or work on it little-by-little until you find your stride and confidence.

If i can offer you any advice, i been studying for a 2-part IT exam for 2 years for and had to retake the second part 4 times until passing just a few weeks ago, but before then, i was a anxious pile of nerves and shut myself out from most of my social life online and offline. but to keep sane and to calm down, i learned self-care is a thing we all need to do to feel better. this varies from person to person, but the best thing is to take a day or even a couple of days off from whats been stressing you off. use this time to do other things who want to do and feel better. maybe eat cookies and binge watch a show or anime, go out and eat a burger, draw something you like or want to draw, or just socialize with supportive friends. you need time to heal from the stress and pushing yourself is just going to make things worst.

I know this might sounds like a no brainer, but you would be surprised how often we let our minds get so wrapped up in something, and get so stressed and worked up over, that we forget to step back from it and clear our heads. you are not awful or garbage. your anxiety and stress is getting to you and you need to pull yourself away, treat yourself and heal.

on a side note, forget that person who blew up on you for not being "considerate" you were full and were telling them how it is. if anything, they were the ones who were not being considerate.

You don't have to give a definitive answer ahead of time. Just having a big pool of requests and doing the ones you feel like, when you feel like is a perfectly valid way to do commissions. There's no obligations on your part until you ask for payment.

Sweetie, from the little time we've spent together, I know you're not an awful person. Sometimes, the traditional method of doing things doesn't suit a person, so don't be afraid that this isn't working out on the commissions side of it. As for the person who blew up, there will always be people like that, no matter where you are. While I can't speak for the collective, I understand where you're coming from. Don't be afraid to do comms at your own pace, if at all!

Things not working out doesn't make you awful. I hope you can find some way of doing things that is less stressful.

anxious, maybe and understandable. Garbage, absolutely not. Do the commissions as you feel them. Art should be about expression and that is an extension of you, so if you can't put yourself behind the work, it happens.

I would consider opening requests for a bit and take a break from Commissions for a while.

The issue is that I need money. Honestly I wouldn't be taking them at all if I had the choice.

Likewise, if I didn't need money, I wouldn't do commissions, I would just draw shit for people for funsies.

I feel what you mean. It's really nerve-wracking to go through that and have to deal with the fallout. Rest up, dude. Don't let this bother you too much.

What if I just pat you on the head and tell you how much I appreciate all the art you've made over all these years.

I think you’re fine? And whoever blew up at you sounds like a selfish bitch. You’re not a fucking Starbucks employee (not that anyone should yell at them either) you’re doing something you like and they need to shut the fuck up

man I hate to see you like this. You're not awful. Just anxious. I dont think its fucked up you didnt take my commissions when I was able to have the chance before. Your only human, you have a limit on what you can take & do.

You overworked yourself in the past.. I hope you can recover from that & once again enjoy drawing like old times. I just want to see you happy. I guess you do have to take some different approach like Badger said.

You are not awful. I admit i was wondering a bit about the queue not filling in your last journal but its ok to feel anxious, you are the artist and you have the right to pic and choose commission ideas you feel the most comfortable with or you like

You are wonderful, and your anxiety totally makes sense, especially when it comes to dealing with a nasty customer like that.
You were trying something new, and it didn't work out the way you expected, and that's fine. Now you know better and you can move forward and maybe try something that is hopefully less anxiety-inducing. There's nothing wrong with trial and error, and there is nothing wrong with you either.

Anxiety sucks. I've got it with other things than commissions but I get why that would stress you out.

Anyone who gives you shit for not being on your "considerations" list is being immature. At the end of the day your commissions are your business. You could deny my ideas the rest of my life and I'd still stick by that and simply enjoy what I've already gotten from you happily. Art is a luxury, not a guaranteed good that people are entitled to. You are at the absolute liberty of picking or choosing exactly what commissions you want to do and when, and you shouldn't have to apologize to anyone for that.

Also, you also don't have to do commissions the way you "promised" - do them the way that makes you comfortable. So what if you want to take it slow and only take the commissions that might interest you? Sick. Do it that way, why not? If it keeps you comfortable and happy then do it! Just be up front about it and nobody has any right to complain.

Give yourself a break smelly. Everything's must less of a worry than you think it is. No judgement!

Ah man, sorry to hear about the anxieties! D: I was hoping to commission you again sometime, but I totally understand the anxiety. It's not a good feeling! I can't imagine why people get all angry at artists though. It doesn't help anything. I've had a few I've waited years and years on, but can't force anyone to do something.