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BIG UPDATE TYPE THING.
3 years ago
A lot of stuff has been happening at home and it's made it very hard to work on art. I know some of you have been waiting in my queue for close to a year now, and I feel like an explanation is due now that things have calmed down, at least for the moment.
The first big thing, that has been an unfolding drama for over a year now, is that my stepdad was caught cheating with his ex GF from over 20 years ago. Multiple times. She's toxic, bad news, and he doesn't even know her last name. Also she's dating his ex-best friend, who is a controlling jerk with some anger issues so... that little triangle is going to end really well, I'm sure. I live with my Mom and my Stepdad, along with my younger brothers, because all of us suffer from some degree of chronic pain and disability, and between the lot of us we can mostly keep things running. However, my stepdad has made it very clear that he no longer wants anything to do with this family. He's moved into the spare room and tried to sell the house out from under us so he could go live in an RV in the woods. This failed because my name and my mother's are on the house title, but it didn't stop him from trying. Had he succeeded, the rest of us would be homeless. We can't work, I've been in the process of applying for disability for 2 years with no luck, and we're scrambling to try and find a way to pay the mortgage without his help. After Mom threatened legal action he's promised to stay until we can find a way... for now. But I don't trust him half as far as I could toss him. (Honestly, I never have, and 7 year old me feels very validated that suddenly Mom can see all the bad parts of him she was blind to before, but I had to deal with for years growing up.)
This is the major thing that has caused me to not be able to draw. My auto-immune disease will very happily turn emotional stress into physical stress and joint pain. On top of that, he's stopped doing any work around the house. He used to be the primary care-taker for Mom (who has been bedridden from her chronic pain for about 5 years now) and now he's just... ignoring everyone. He won't even take the trash out anymore, even though he still uses the kitchen. So I've had to step in and do a lot more work to keep things going. All of this has been very taxing and took my already low energy levels even lower.
Unfortunately it's not the only thing that's been happening; a handful of smaller things all happened around the same time and made things difficult.
First, I got Covid. I survived, which is something far too many people cannot say, but it was 2 weeks of solid misery and about a month of extreme chronic exhaustion (like, more than my usual always-tired-ness). I do not remember most of June. It's a blur of suffering and counting down the hours until I could take more medicine.
And then Luna, my dog, my dear little Princess Lunatic LandShark Pretty Paws, got a UTI. She has an upcoming vet appointment and has been on cranberry supplements and is doing much better, but for a while there was a lot of cleaning up after her to do.
(9/5 UPDATE: She has been given a clean bill of health by the vet, so either we caught it early and it cleared up before she got in to see the doc, or this is a behavioral issue sparked by all the stress. Her favorite people are myself and my mom and she's definitely picked up on the fact that something is wrong. Either way I'm glad she's healthy.)
AND THEN. Because life just won't stop happening! My laptop broke. My laptop is my main photoshop machine and luckily some very kind people donated to the GoFundMe I set up and we met the goal in just a day. Actually getting the laptop to the mac store was a huge ordeal involving 3 different trips and altogether too much carsickness; I won't go into the details there but it took most of a month. In fact I didn't manage to draw a single thing for ArtFight 2022 :C
Anyway. I don't know how to conclude this, except to say thank you to everyone who has been so very patient, and another extra thank you for the people who helped fund the laptop repair. I'm gonna try to get back into commissions. It's been way too long since I made any art and it's starting to bother my muse pretty bad. I can't promise that I won't vanish again in the future-- life is kind of a mess right now-- but at least now you hopefully understand why.
The first big thing, that has been an unfolding drama for over a year now, is that my stepdad was caught cheating with his ex GF from over 20 years ago. Multiple times. She's toxic, bad news, and he doesn't even know her last name. Also she's dating his ex-best friend, who is a controlling jerk with some anger issues so... that little triangle is going to end really well, I'm sure. I live with my Mom and my Stepdad, along with my younger brothers, because all of us suffer from some degree of chronic pain and disability, and between the lot of us we can mostly keep things running. However, my stepdad has made it very clear that he no longer wants anything to do with this family. He's moved into the spare room and tried to sell the house out from under us so he could go live in an RV in the woods. This failed because my name and my mother's are on the house title, but it didn't stop him from trying. Had he succeeded, the rest of us would be homeless. We can't work, I've been in the process of applying for disability for 2 years with no luck, and we're scrambling to try and find a way to pay the mortgage without his help. After Mom threatened legal action he's promised to stay until we can find a way... for now. But I don't trust him half as far as I could toss him. (Honestly, I never have, and 7 year old me feels very validated that suddenly Mom can see all the bad parts of him she was blind to before, but I had to deal with for years growing up.)
This is the major thing that has caused me to not be able to draw. My auto-immune disease will very happily turn emotional stress into physical stress and joint pain. On top of that, he's stopped doing any work around the house. He used to be the primary care-taker for Mom (who has been bedridden from her chronic pain for about 5 years now) and now he's just... ignoring everyone. He won't even take the trash out anymore, even though he still uses the kitchen. So I've had to step in and do a lot more work to keep things going. All of this has been very taxing and took my already low energy levels even lower.
Unfortunately it's not the only thing that's been happening; a handful of smaller things all happened around the same time and made things difficult.
First, I got Covid. I survived, which is something far too many people cannot say, but it was 2 weeks of solid misery and about a month of extreme chronic exhaustion (like, more than my usual always-tired-ness). I do not remember most of June. It's a blur of suffering and counting down the hours until I could take more medicine.
And then Luna, my dog, my dear little Princess Lunatic LandShark Pretty Paws, got a UTI. She has an upcoming vet appointment and has been on cranberry supplements and is doing much better, but for a while there was a lot of cleaning up after her to do.
(9/5 UPDATE: She has been given a clean bill of health by the vet, so either we caught it early and it cleared up before she got in to see the doc, or this is a behavioral issue sparked by all the stress. Her favorite people are myself and my mom and she's definitely picked up on the fact that something is wrong. Either way I'm glad she's healthy.)
AND THEN. Because life just won't stop happening! My laptop broke. My laptop is my main photoshop machine and luckily some very kind people donated to the GoFundMe I set up and we met the goal in just a day. Actually getting the laptop to the mac store was a huge ordeal involving 3 different trips and altogether too much carsickness; I won't go into the details there but it took most of a month. In fact I didn't manage to draw a single thing for ArtFight 2022 :C
Anyway. I don't know how to conclude this, except to say thank you to everyone who has been so very patient, and another extra thank you for the people who helped fund the laptop repair. I'm gonna try to get back into commissions. It's been way too long since I made any art and it's starting to bother my muse pretty bad. I can't promise that I won't vanish again in the future-- life is kind of a mess right now-- but at least now you hopefully understand why.
all of that is just, so so much, i really hope the universe gives you a break already >< I hope things -stay- calmed down for you for a while ;;
I kind of suspect he's a sociopath? He never had any empathy for anybody but Mom, until he decided he didn't love her anymore. He's just started treating her like he treated the rest of us: Completely ignored and not considered when making decisions. He only seems to think about HIS future these days. No tact. Cannot read a room. Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist, but I'm pretty good at spotting sociopaths thanks to my birth dad, a diagnosed sociopath who walked out of the family when I was 5.
What is a healthy father figure??? This seal never had one oh dearYou're welcome for the one giant donation towards the new laptop; I didn't expect someone on discord to donate $300 freaking dollars. Here's hoping the government gets their ass in gear and gets you and your (actual) family on the disability paycheck.
And no worries, delays happen and life sure hasnt been nice. Hopefully things will start calming down, maybe then you can get back into having the energy, and hopefully having fun doing art! But priorities first, gotta get things sorted out, best of luck! Wishing you the best!
He's more than a tool. I've got some strong words for him, but for now at least I need to try to get along with him and not antagonize him... He makes it very difficult.