CONTENT WARNING: Suicide
FYI:
If you think anything in this journal is disrespectful, please let me know.
Oh and don't post comments insulting or otherwise demeaning people for committing suicide. That is really disrespectful to them and I will not tolerate it.



So around two months ago I learned  shertu committed suicide. You can see my thoughts on it here. Later I learned that MystDingo also committed suicide in late August, which hurt me a little bit but not a huge amount because I never knew the guy and he had no influence on my life whatsoever. I'm not sure if I should cover him here because idk if he had Autism or not.

And now just as the wounds Shertu's suicide opened were properly healing up after my time at FurJAM I learned that  rocoro committed suicide in April and a good friend of his died just yesterday. I did not know Rocoro nearly as much as I did Shertu as he lived outside of Australia but what made me know him was that he had a short stint in my local furry Telegram community and was generally speaking a cool guy. I read his suicide note (you can read it here) and, while I cried inside, my anger burned far, far greater because he was also bloody damn autistic and the struggles of autism, and the stigma against it, contributed to his death in no small way.
This also comes after another autistic person I personally knew, a family friend, died not even a month after Shertu died from let's just say escalating health issues following a long series of hospital visits where the nurses could not figure out what his health issues were, instead passing them off as him having panic attacks because of his autism.

In just a year TWO autistic people who I knew killed themselves; in no small part due to the stigma of autism in just a year and a THIRD one I knew who died possibly due to nurses misidentifying his escalating health issues as him panicking due to his autism. I've recently seen some of my other friends be it autistic, ADHD, Asperger's, etc. be driven to the brink and I myself had an episode where I could have potentially been suicidal early last month because of Shertu's suicide combined with other personal issues.
My anger at the world is immeasurable, almost at the point where I doubt I could ever forgive it for the near endless pain and suffering it gives to those who aren't of the perfect neurotypical model society expects of you. Very few people know how to deal with people who struggle with autism and other mental health conditions - they just always expect you to be neurotypical because that's the vast majority of who they interact with. You're expected to work, and look for work, under conditions meant for neurotypical people that quickly weed out those who are not of the neurotypical sort. Parents who are not willing to put in the time to understand these mental health issues can inflict immeasurable amounts of damage during the period of time where the kids are at their most susceptible to mental trauma, wherever it be out of not understanding how it works or out of malice. The suicide rate for autistic people is six times higher than it is for normal people and is linked to poor mental health support.
I am deeply fortunate that I live with loving parents who just want me to do whatever makes me feel happy. I would be in a horrible state if I lived just about anywhere else. I will be doing what I can to spread awareness of autistic people and the problems they face on a daily basis and to push for better mental health support in regards to them.

F*** this world. Seriously. Sincerely Orithan Fox.