FA+
Shop
⚠️ Mom 2.0 // Help me recover
3 years ago
FURLANA@
Patreon | SFW Tumblr | Tumblr +18 | Twitter | Picarto | Gumroad
ADOPTABLE BASES
Amethyst base (305 elements) 45$ | Simple doggo base 4$
Hey guys!
I'm dropping by only briefly to report the news to anyone who has not heard them yet :) I have welcomed my darling new baby boy to my family on the 6th of September! The road was long and difficult, it was easily the most difficult experience of myt enitre life so far, but it was worth the suffering. I have another little angel under my wing!
On a sadder note...
To anyone who would be willing to help us, we are in a very tight spot right now. I didn't at all consider the possibility that I will be put through a traumatic c-section and left with the need of attending both physiotherapy to help me recover physically and a psychiatrist to help me recover mentally. I was sure that the second delivery will be less complicated than the first one, but I was terribly wrong. I prepared for me to just deal with being unable to work so I have spare funds to help us cover the bills and put food on our table, but I sadly didn't make enough to have enough to make sure I'm taken care of in case there would be complications following.
Trigger warning: operation, giving birth, blood, trauma and all the fun things.
To anyone interested in how and why this happened, I will put my story briefly below. I want to also say that I am absolutely very grateful to the doctors that decided to do the c-section on me, they saved my child's life.
The pregnancy was more or less safe, much like the last one. I only suffered pregnancy diabetes which I was able to deal with thanks to a very restrictive diet that put me in the state of ketosis for 3 months (no carbs at all). However due to the diabetes I had to be scheduled to induce labor in the 40th week if I didn't naturally go into labor naturally. And of course, I did not and even though I experienced contractions for a few weeks, I have only developed a small dialtion of 2 cm (last time it was 5cm once I got the the hospital and I was ready to go).
I was kept at the hospital and experienced the wonderful 'Foley's balloon' thing, that I was given for an entire night to increase the dialtion. It was very unpleasant and caused me to suffer from painful contraction for the entire night I spent at the hospital. But it developed a nice safe dialation of 5 cm, so in the morning without much wait I was put on oxytocin to force the labor to begin. I was already very tired and in pain.
The induced labor went better than my first. I was doing really great and my husband was next to me the entire time, holding my hand and massaging my back and encouraging me to keep focusing on breathing. I was actually happy, the way it went. I didn'tr even scream at all, which I did all the time during my first labor :D I consider myself a real trooper. The labor lasted 5-6h and I was almost ready for the second phase of the delivery (so pushing the baby out) when suddenly his heart rate dropped drastically once he put himself in the birthing canal. It happened really fast from then on - 2 doctors came, my husband's hand was ripped from mine as he was asked to step aside. I was dizzy from the pain and the opiod-based medication I was given to help the dialtion speed up and I wasn't sure what was happening.
The doctor said that they have to perform a c-section. At the state I was in I asked him if he was joking. They said, no and more people came in, placed me on anothed bed and forced me to lay down. I suffered from another contraction then and my entire body started shaking, I had a huge panic attack. Everything went from fine and 'almost at the end' to my worst nightmares coming true. The thing I feared most of all was a c-section and an unplanned one was not even on my radar. I actually am crying as I write this, but I do want to share my story with anyone who might have gone through the same and is suffering in silence.
They transported me to the operation block and within seconds they gave me a shot in my spine and they were already cutting me open as I was layed down after the shot. It was the scariest thing I ever lived through. The lamp hanging above me, that shed light on the operation field for the doctors, reflected precisely how they were opening my belly and for a brief second I glanced there to see a huge hole in my body, lots of blood and my skin streched on hooks. This view was horrific, it accompanies me in my nightmares every single day for 3 weeks now.
The view was blocked by a doctor putting some documents in front of me and another giving me a pen in my stiff fingers, telling me to sign the agreement for a c-section. It was laughable really, since I was already having it. My hands were shaking so much that all I managed to do was not even readable as a signature.
They took my precious son out of me and I heard his cry, it was surreal. I didn't feel anything, I was so scared. I wasn't happy, I thought I was going to die. What they did didn't hurt, but it was terrible, unpleasant and to a degree painful. I could feel I have a gaping wound in my stomach. They showed him to me for literally less than a second and took him away. My mind was blank, I thought I started losing consiousness. I was cold, like never before in my life. My entire body shaking and I was naked and alone with doctors discussing their lunch plans as they started to stitch me back up. I was told the entire procedure lasted 20 minutes. They took my son out within 5 minutes of transporting me to the operation ward. It felt like a lifetime, it was absolutely horrific.
My son was given to my husband, who held him until I was patched back up and immediately they gave me my baby once I was in my room. I was in shock, I still am - three weeks later. I keep reliving this nightmare over and over, I keep trying to talk about it to everyone around me in hopes that it will make it go away or that I will finally feel better, safer. Nothing helps.
At the ward I wasn't treated too well. They kicked me out of bed to go to the bathroom 6h after the operation - at 2 am at night and forced me to walk. the pain was unbearable, I felt like my guts were about to spill even though I was given all the painkillers in the world. No wonder, 7 layers of my tissue, muscle and skin were ripped apart. Trying to take care of a newborn in that condition is nothing short of a miracle, yet I put myself second and responded to every cry my baby uttered, even though standing up to get him was hell.
I was let out to go home 3 days later, still in pain, still with a huge belly (which my doctors kept complaining about for being 'too big' as if I could have done anything about it). Anyway I'm home now, suffering every day. My belly still hurts, I still have problems sitting, walking and basically surviving each day. My condition is not the best, I have to attend physiotherapy to help my belly get back to the way it was, my muscles are spread too far, I got tons of water inside that just doesn't want to disappear by itself, like it's supposed to. My mental state is even worse than my physical state. I never had panic attacks before, now I suffer daily, randomly bursting into tears, confsuing my older son that I also have to now look after, even though I can barely look after myself. We are surviving, but it's hard. And I need professional help that I can't really afford.
The doctors aren't sure why my son's heart rate dropped once he went into the birthing canal, but they said they thing it's because his head was too large to fit (3cm bigger than my firstborn's head, which is A LOT in baby standards) and he would suffocate.
Anyway! I feel really terrible for asking, as I always try to manage things by myself, but I have little to no way out here - I could really use help. There is no actual financial goal I can set exactly, as this is an ongoing thing and I will need to attend both therapies for the next few months, so anything helps.
To my Patrons, thank you a TON everyone for staying with me and making sure I can push through one of the most vulnerable moments of my life.
I am now oficially a happy mom of 2 healthy lovely boys! I am sure I will get better with time, but for now things are very tough.
I'm dropping by only briefly to report the news to anyone who has not heard them yet :) I have welcomed my darling new baby boy to my family on the 6th of September! The road was long and difficult, it was easily the most difficult experience of myt enitre life so far, but it was worth the suffering. I have another little angel under my wing!
On a sadder note...
To anyone who would be willing to help us, we are in a very tight spot right now. I didn't at all consider the possibility that I will be put through a traumatic c-section and left with the need of attending both physiotherapy to help me recover physically and a psychiatrist to help me recover mentally. I was sure that the second delivery will be less complicated than the first one, but I was terribly wrong. I prepared for me to just deal with being unable to work so I have spare funds to help us cover the bills and put food on our table, but I sadly didn't make enough to have enough to make sure I'm taken care of in case there would be complications following.
Trigger warning: operation, giving birth, blood, trauma and all the fun things.
To anyone interested in how and why this happened, I will put my story briefly below. I want to also say that I am absolutely very grateful to the doctors that decided to do the c-section on me, they saved my child's life.
The pregnancy was more or less safe, much like the last one. I only suffered pregnancy diabetes which I was able to deal with thanks to a very restrictive diet that put me in the state of ketosis for 3 months (no carbs at all). However due to the diabetes I had to be scheduled to induce labor in the 40th week if I didn't naturally go into labor naturally. And of course, I did not and even though I experienced contractions for a few weeks, I have only developed a small dialtion of 2 cm (last time it was 5cm once I got the the hospital and I was ready to go).
I was kept at the hospital and experienced the wonderful 'Foley's balloon' thing, that I was given for an entire night to increase the dialtion. It was very unpleasant and caused me to suffer from painful contraction for the entire night I spent at the hospital. But it developed a nice safe dialation of 5 cm, so in the morning without much wait I was put on oxytocin to force the labor to begin. I was already very tired and in pain.
The induced labor went better than my first. I was doing really great and my husband was next to me the entire time, holding my hand and massaging my back and encouraging me to keep focusing on breathing. I was actually happy, the way it went. I didn'tr even scream at all, which I did all the time during my first labor :D I consider myself a real trooper. The labor lasted 5-6h and I was almost ready for the second phase of the delivery (so pushing the baby out) when suddenly his heart rate dropped drastically once he put himself in the birthing canal. It happened really fast from then on - 2 doctors came, my husband's hand was ripped from mine as he was asked to step aside. I was dizzy from the pain and the opiod-based medication I was given to help the dialtion speed up and I wasn't sure what was happening.
The doctor said that they have to perform a c-section. At the state I was in I asked him if he was joking. They said, no and more people came in, placed me on anothed bed and forced me to lay down. I suffered from another contraction then and my entire body started shaking, I had a huge panic attack. Everything went from fine and 'almost at the end' to my worst nightmares coming true. The thing I feared most of all was a c-section and an unplanned one was not even on my radar. I actually am crying as I write this, but I do want to share my story with anyone who might have gone through the same and is suffering in silence.
They transported me to the operation block and within seconds they gave me a shot in my spine and they were already cutting me open as I was layed down after the shot. It was the scariest thing I ever lived through. The lamp hanging above me, that shed light on the operation field for the doctors, reflected precisely how they were opening my belly and for a brief second I glanced there to see a huge hole in my body, lots of blood and my skin streched on hooks. This view was horrific, it accompanies me in my nightmares every single day for 3 weeks now.
The view was blocked by a doctor putting some documents in front of me and another giving me a pen in my stiff fingers, telling me to sign the agreement for a c-section. It was laughable really, since I was already having it. My hands were shaking so much that all I managed to do was not even readable as a signature.
They took my precious son out of me and I heard his cry, it was surreal. I didn't feel anything, I was so scared. I wasn't happy, I thought I was going to die. What they did didn't hurt, but it was terrible, unpleasant and to a degree painful. I could feel I have a gaping wound in my stomach. They showed him to me for literally less than a second and took him away. My mind was blank, I thought I started losing consiousness. I was cold, like never before in my life. My entire body shaking and I was naked and alone with doctors discussing their lunch plans as they started to stitch me back up. I was told the entire procedure lasted 20 minutes. They took my son out within 5 minutes of transporting me to the operation ward. It felt like a lifetime, it was absolutely horrific.
My son was given to my husband, who held him until I was patched back up and immediately they gave me my baby once I was in my room. I was in shock, I still am - three weeks later. I keep reliving this nightmare over and over, I keep trying to talk about it to everyone around me in hopes that it will make it go away or that I will finally feel better, safer. Nothing helps.
At the ward I wasn't treated too well. They kicked me out of bed to go to the bathroom 6h after the operation - at 2 am at night and forced me to walk. the pain was unbearable, I felt like my guts were about to spill even though I was given all the painkillers in the world. No wonder, 7 layers of my tissue, muscle and skin were ripped apart. Trying to take care of a newborn in that condition is nothing short of a miracle, yet I put myself second and responded to every cry my baby uttered, even though standing up to get him was hell.
I was let out to go home 3 days later, still in pain, still with a huge belly (which my doctors kept complaining about for being 'too big' as if I could have done anything about it). Anyway I'm home now, suffering every day. My belly still hurts, I still have problems sitting, walking and basically surviving each day. My condition is not the best, I have to attend physiotherapy to help my belly get back to the way it was, my muscles are spread too far, I got tons of water inside that just doesn't want to disappear by itself, like it's supposed to. My mental state is even worse than my physical state. I never had panic attacks before, now I suffer daily, randomly bursting into tears, confsuing my older son that I also have to now look after, even though I can barely look after myself. We are surviving, but it's hard. And I need professional help that I can't really afford.
The doctors aren't sure why my son's heart rate dropped once he went into the birthing canal, but they said they thing it's because his head was too large to fit (3cm bigger than my firstborn's head, which is A LOT in baby standards) and he would suffocate.
Anyway! I feel really terrible for asking, as I always try to manage things by myself, but I have little to no way out here - I could really use help. There is no actual financial goal I can set exactly, as this is an ongoing thing and I will need to attend both therapies for the next few months, so anything helps.
If you want and can help me, please consider supporting my ᴘᴀᴛʀᴇᴏɴ or buying me a ᴋᴏ-ꜰɪ.
On Patreon you will get tons of content I uploaded before going on maternity leave and on ko-fi I sadly can't offer anything in return. But I will be forever gretaful for anyone donating anything to help me recover.
Thank you, I am forever in your debt.To my Patrons, thank you a TON everyone for staying with me and making sure I can push through one of the most vulnerable moments of my life.
I am now oficially a happy mom of 2 healthy lovely boys! I am sure I will get better with time, but for now things are very tough.
❥ Buy me a coffee ☕️
Fundraising: Woolen reusable diapers (caus'e I'm crazy about them now)
████████████████████ [35%][/right]
Reached goals: button making machine, Schoolism art course annual licence
Future goals: ZBrush, art courses online, annual add on FA
When my sister had her c section she was so out of it she didn't even know much of what was going on. The most she noticed was how cold they kept the room in order to help keep it sterile.
It kinda sounds like your doctors jumped the gun going straight to c section but eh I'm not a doctor so who knows.
You'll be getting some support from me of what little I can.
I do apologize that you had to deal with such a experience
I am doing my best every day to try and make hunk of it this way, but it will definitely take a while to put this together in my head. The anstu scar will also always be a reminder, it doesn't really help at this time 🙈
Thank you so so much ❤️
But as things are I don't want to add more work to my plate and I would rather offering more Fast Fingers slots a month. Thanks though <3
Overall, it wasn't an amazing experience, however, I am glad I did not have to endure a c-section on top of it.
I am glad to hear your baby boy is safe and healthy! Congrats mama :D Even if the road was hard, I know you cherish that little boy :)
Have some coffees
The thing that they let you go after just 3 days doesn't sound right. My mum told me that she was for 2 weeks in hospital after she gave birth to me because I got newborn jaundice.
Well, she nearly lost me as she was too active in the pregnancy, leading to partial placenta abruption. She had to lay down for over a month, not allowed to get up, with medication, for the placenta to grow back to the uterus wall.
I was born over 32 years ago, at June, 21th 1990 around 3 AM while a thunderstorm was going on outside.
Tell your sons how they were born when they are old enough and it will blow their mind.