It's easy to say stuff, and tempting to say certain stuff when you are around a group of people you like or hate, so a lot of people do it.

You just have to make room for the people who respect your time more than those who don't. After the 2nd or 3rd chance, write them off. If they come around again, don't do things for these people until they do something for you.

Yeah, this seems like their 1st time doing this. And we are not that close but still - the result is a wasted time which cost a lot ><
Thank you, I agree strongly with you. No serious business with such people.

I'm currently living with someone who does this sort of thing on a regular basis. I think I can at the very least partially blame the fact that they have ADHD, but it still does get very annoying. And you know, it's not like I haven't told them about the issue and that they should work on changing it, but it's like you say, they'll promise to "do better", but then that same behavior just keeps coming back...

I'm sure it's not actually the case, but it does make me feel like they don't actually care about changing their behavior.

I feel very sorry about you hearing that :< Totally understandable. Do you -have to- keep standing this for some heavy reason?

I experience this a *LOT* in the area that I live. Plumbers, electricians, carpenters, etc. They're all extremely unprofessional, forget appointments, don't call, etc.
It's like they don't want the work or something. Extremely irritating and juvenile. If there's someone in my social circle (ie friends) that act this way, I simply don't rely on them for anything. But if it's someone new, and they forget/ignore a commitment, I judge heavily against them going forward.

This is the case this time - basically a new person. Even tho you could just .. ya know.. message you don't wanna come or wut. >< Even if we know this person is not reliable we still have at least 1 bad experience and a wasted time as a result. Or even worse...

It's so sad that the problem could be solved (at least partially) by a little communication. But, too many people just don't care enough, or are too "busy" in their own lives to think of others.

Sorry that you had to suffer through that. *hugs*

Exactly - just a lil communication is needed. And due to my lifestyle I see that this means really a lot. So I try at least to wonder how are people doing so far over there.. once in 2-3 months.. sometimes it is exactly what others need and I got 'paid' for it as well.
Thank you for understanding <3 Means a lot <3

It's irritating, for sure as someone who likes to stick with plans once they're made and is always on time - etc.

But, as one other commenter mentioned, ADHD can play a part in some people's behavior. My partner is a mess when it comes to plans and doing things. And he was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but his family didn't agree to that so they didn't treat it. Also, it's easy to say get help and change but as someone with mental illness too who's been spun around like a tumbleweed in a tornado with our mental health system - it's not that easy. And I'm now seeing my partner be that as well somewhat. It's hard to find good therapists who care about you, it's even harder to find them affordable when you got high bills to pay and have to just survive. So I can understand how trying to get it under control is also a struggle. The mental health system is an absolute joke.

My advice to you is, if it bothers you so much and is effecting your own personal mental health just be blunt about it and stop making plans with this person and find people who are on the same level as you. Or at the least stop having high expectations for this person because you already know they cannot meet yours. That's easier said than done as I still have high expectations for my partner even after 3 years of same behavior that may never change because of his ADHD. But if you want to continue doing things with this friend, you're gonna have to lower the expectations on your end and set a time to be there or meet up possibly even sooner so they have even more time to be ready - this has worked with my partner. If we're going somewhere at 12pm and I tell him to sleep in til 9:30am to get more sleep, he'll say no he's getting up at 8am so he can get ready and ironically, it works out perfect. Whereas other times he'll procrastinate. Just an example.

Very agree on every term - thanks to some force above us - I don't have to deal seriously with such people because it's absolute cut off of any chance to have smth serious with them. Today is a rare case rather new person has done this and this brought me down because I was so glad to help with their issue. And they just said - oh, I overslept (5hrs late) and I'd love to sleep even more. Okay, oh, well. =___=

Unfortunately some people are like that, especially if they're struggling with a mental illness that drains them (we have to remember, what effects us won't effect another person the same), or if they're working an exhausting job or labor intensive things or doing something that requires them to stay up late. Different people handle things differently. My partner cannot handle things well and needs alot of sleep, that unfortunately he doesn't get and he definitely says the same often. That he over slept or he wants to sleep more. His issues keep him up really late as well as he works a 10-12hr job.

But you as well do not have to put up with it either if it is gonna drain you and bring you down. You as a person also has a choice to decide if you wanna deal with it or not and that's okay too. At the end of the day, you think about yourself. So, take care of yourself first and do what makes you happy ^^ Find people who are able to meet your requirements and are able to be there on time for you when you need them to be. You as a person has a choice too and that's the good thing about it. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that, even if these people might be struggling (who knows, it could just be laziness).

I am really sorry to hear you have to overcome your darling issues.. tho, I hope, it's much easier together. And I wish you have enough sleep both, less stress and just a happy life :>
Thank you for your sharp thoughts, they have made me more calm <3

It's annoying, but we can only strive to be reliable, ourselves.

Yep, so I try to. Try hard. And try not to underestimate others as well ><

I find unreliability extremely aggravating. If someone makes a promise they must stick to it. if they somehow can't they must communicate that and discuss it with me to find a solution. Promises should never be forgotten or ignored. It's a dedication to do (or not do) something and being able to rely on what has been agreed is foundational to cooperation and social behaviour.
If someone breaks their promise more than once (with me or others), it will have broken my trust, shows total lack of respect, and I will not agree to do anything with them or rely on their word for anything from that point forward -- it will change the way I do business with them or cooperate with them.

Hello! thank you for such a detailed opinion!
More you know a person - more painful this 'betrayal' is. So, better show it in the very beginning, and we decide to stop any relations/communication with such people. Have you ever met a real psychopath? Those who were born with a mental case not having any empathy to others and pretending to be normal and then do smth that breaks the trust and gives so much pain?

I can definitely think of a few people fitting the psychopath description. I certainly have enough practical life experience having the opinion, I do, I guess >.<
And I fully agree with not delaying in such cases and just stopping relations/communication with such people as all it will do is set you up for more pain otherwise.

Well said! Anyway, I wish we meet more reliable people on our ways :>

Ask for half-pay ahead of time for locked commitment :p

If they cant commit to that, chances are they arent actualy that commited.

OOh, yeah, I remember that story. It was a shameful situation, breaking the trust to an artist ><

I cut ties with people like those, leave them out of my life.
If they are problematic in being reliable and can't stay true to their words, I don't want them around me.

As a person who dedicates so much of my time to work and providing help to those who ask, I'm not going to let people, who don't hold the same minimum standards, to ruin my day or mood.
It's their loss, not mine.

Thank you, this is something I see worthy reaction on those people!