So my profile is a bit dead. I don’t believe I’ve had any readers (if I have, they haven’t made me aware) and my interactions outside of here have been minimal. I mentioned this before that it’s understandable this early. I’m remaining patient and holding onto hope that “if you build it, they will come.” I anticipate some art rolling in soon that depicts both Kenji and the characters I’m building. Hopefully the submission of these pieces to my gallery will draw potential readers to my profile.

My writing project and change of persona are for my own benefit above anybody else’s. While it does great things for my self-confidence to trudge forward without the approval of others, it has some bearing on my motivation to write. This is the lesson in life I’ve been attempting to learn as of late. The greatest supporter and driver of my passions, dreams, and pursuits should be… above all else… myself. So motivation isn’t non-existent. I still have goals I want to meet, and I’ll reach them whether people support me or not. Progress continues to be made even in small increments.

The second chapter of LDYG started being written as soon as the first was concluded. It was plotted out long before the prewriting work I’m doing now. I paused a day or so after to start plotting out the rest of the story. It’s a slippery slope to plan too much so I kept it to bulleted points and a barebones guide to follow. 10 chapters and 1 epilogue. By doing this I was able to expand my ideas. I created a plot structure with intrigue beyond the romance of Zale and Cirrus. Now there’s politics, war, an antagonist, and character arcs to spice up this concept into a small novel. The only hurdle now is writing it. So far I have written 2000+ words for the second chapter, with a total of over 5000 for the story thus far.

But word count means nothing if it’s dead air. Every piece of action, introspection, and dialogue must have an intricate purpose in a grand design now. This can be intimidating, especially as I try to expand my expertise on the craft in conjunction with mastery of my story. Some evenings I’ve stumbled into a writers block where I’ve produced little work. It’s typically caused by a conflict of whether I should write forward or if I should pause and meticulously plan my steps, look back, and start changing things… making what I’m writing in the moment irrelevant.

To avoid being dead in the water I’ve taken the time I dedicated to writing to study it when I’ve been blocked. I’ve listened to some lectures and taken notes on writing style. I found an excellent dialogue from Kurt Vonnegut on writing via a book I picked up at my local Barnes and Noble. My profession also has me constantly has me writing or reading, keeping me in practice. This is both a blessing and a curse. Some days I come home and I’m simply burnt out.

Another issue I’ve encountered is that by doing this I only increase my will to go back and change things. Suddenly the red hawk opening of Chapter 1 feels unnecessary when I could be using those words to establish character motivations rather than a setting I know my audience is already familiar with. How many fantasy stories have a woodland forest? Who hasn’t strolled through the woods? Why waste so much time through convoluted means to establish something this basic, when there’s nothing particularly special about this setting? But is there? Should there be? Now, my nonexistent reader, I hope you understand the messy process writing something of this magnitude truly is. At first I thought the hawk opening could serve as an allegory of sorts, but at this point, I don’t even know what the hell the allegory was supposed to be.

I feel an urge to redact cornerstones which makes the entire bridge I’ve built so far between chapter 1 and 2, as well as the sum of their parts, feel unstable. A lot of my focus is on character. My inspirations reaffirm that plot should be built around my characters. So to answer all my questions above, I should give life to my setting through my characters interaction and connections with it if I’m truly committed to character over setting. Yet, that’ll result in some major changes. This is much more daunting to consider and fix over continuing forward with the story I so desperately wish to tell.

I’ll continue to trudge forward. I have a long weekend ahead that I hope is restful and allows me dedicated time, without the stress of my profession, to focus on my passions. I know that if I take the time to map out my characters, and fit my critical first chapters to consider this, that’ll pay off for myself and my readers in the long run. Progress may be slow. Any progress is good. Excluding my weekends, I haven’t had a day where I haven’t dedicated time to this project. Even during my days off I’m brainstorming. My dream is to tell my stories. There’ll be bumps in the road, however. No matter what, they’ll be told in time, and in a matter I see fitting.