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Sexual Hang-Ups..
3 years ago
I'm so frustrated and dissilussioned, of the maybe 3 people i felt a close connection and attraction to online and felt interested enough to try and maybe share and engage and build up on my personal or private erotic fantasies and sexual fanart together, i've only had moderate success, or it would happen that communication or interest broke down or shifted. And it is really hard for me to come out of my shell and approach people, aswell as open up to them. The erotic fanarts are not as stimulating as they once were, i think this is also a product of stress and my life in general. Lately my libido is not as high as it used to be...i must be the one unlucky bastard in all of the internet, the one place that is full of porn and horny people, that can't make it work.
Sex is an important part of my life (maybe not in the conventional way it is for most people that get it on IRL or whatever), i am not sure if i should try to rekindle it...maybe post some new artworks or try and meet new people that will be more in tune to entertain my fantasies...maybe it's a stupid idea, and i am being unrealistic about what to expect from online relationships...i wonder if i always was to begin with.
Sex is an important part of my life (maybe not in the conventional way it is for most people that get it on IRL or whatever), i am not sure if i should try to rekindle it...maybe post some new artworks or try and meet new people that will be more in tune to entertain my fantasies...maybe it's a stupid idea, and i am being unrealistic about what to expect from online relationships...i wonder if i always was to begin with.
As to those artworks, go for it.
I think i will give my artworks a try again now that i am more secure in my sexuality.
After falling short of connecting with other people, i started becoming disenchanted of drawing for myself. Maybe i can try rediscovering what made it happy and exciting for me again, personally.
Might also get people into wanting to commission you.
Just don't give up! <3
Right now i am curious if it would be allowed by the TOS of furaffinity to draw Tails and Klonoa, or if it'd break their TOS, so i will try to find that out (I recently saw a Tails picture: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49057673/ so it made me wonder.)
I know about InkBunny, but i prefer FA's community. I will try to get more clear-cut answers on that while i try to get back to drawing.
But even though i wanted a closer and more private relationships with my adult artworks that way, with that specific person, perhaps i can think of something else, that i enjoy, and that i can enjoy posting publicly on FA.
The feeling when I finished those, especially the tentacles, was phenomenal. Shame I didn't really find the time in the past few months to make something more ... even though I started to learn how to draw outside of Pixel Art.
I'm sure if you would draw something for yourself, it would help you a lot. Live your artistic freedom the the max! Make yourself smile! <3
It's been enough now maybe, too long being my own worst enemy and sabotaging my happiness and mental well being. It maybe time to step back from it all and just draw for myself. It is the time that i need to smile the most.
There were really 3 people i wanted to interact with in such a way...unless a new artist that i am interested in collaborating with in such a way shows up eventually, even so, i am not one to be forthcoming about that.
Pursuing that idealistic relationship was probably unrealistic of me. It may be better to come back down to earth and try working on and sometimes posting my artworks for now.