oh boy it feels like i haven't been here in ages. probably has been. i return to say I'm sorry i haven't been around. i feel like i have neglected to talk with and see so many people. i have seen more people come and go in my life and I'm only 26. it hurts, feels like i screwed up a lot in the past. to those i will probably never see again i just wanted to say I'm sorry. if your out there some where. doubted any of them would ever see this but god am i sorry. i want to try and do better but I'm just caught up in everything. working, my thoughts, just trying to live. doesn't feel any better. some people say I'm turning into a work a holic. maybe its true. but to anyone out just please don't turn into me. i have don't stupid shit. and i want to fix this. I'm so sorry to so many. there's nothing i can do to fix that. but i hope wherever you are out there. your living well. stay safe and have a great life. please. i just have to get this off my chest.