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Update (with edit*)
3 years ago
General
Hi, I’m not back yet, but I wanted to write an update, it’s been a while:
I had a meltdown after finding out the VA for Bayonetta 1 & 2 is very transphobic, amongst other horrible reveals. My enjoyment of Bayo 2 was quite integral to my whole Mitsy persona, and after that week, I fell apart and haven’t felt like myself, or drawn, since; Like finding out I had a tumor or something of the like, just crushed.
I’ve been dealing with some heavy depression since, losing the years of excitement I had for Bayo 3 at first, now replaced with a sort of numb apprehension, just started a chain of dominoes on all the other shit I’ve been depressed about, debts, world issues, the impending potential loss of democracy in the country I’m stuck in due to tons of senile assholes. I've been trying to keep busy and do my IRL job but some mornings early on I just couldn't get up.
I’ve resigned myself long ago to humanity not having much more than a couple decades left to go, but I can’t deal with being reminded of how awful this species is every day of my life.
I can’t deal with the constant doom anymore, I’ve been using Adblock more severely to help recover, deleting pretty much any incessant activity sections, like Twitter’s “What’s happening” sidebar, and any YouTube comment section. I’ve deleted app versions of various sites from my phone since you can’t Adblock those, which has had the side-effect of removing any notification/alert pop-ups I once received. I’ll have to go through my backlog of mail someday soon.
I wake every day feeling tired and deeply hateful of humanity’s squandering of itself; Something I ridiculously kept at bay with excitement for things like Bayo 3 & BOTW 2, etc.
As of typing this, I think I’d be perfectly fine with the new VA redubbing Bayo 1 & 2 to match 3, I can’t listen to the original now without feeling sick. I’ve deleted the first two from my Switch, threw my Bayo 2 amiibo into a junk drawer. I can’t stand the sight of the series right now, something I never thought I’d feel. I can’t do anything about the real world or this, but the least I can is to delete this shit from my peripheral vision.
I haven’t bought Bayo 3 yet, I don’t know when/if I might, in the same way I don’t know when/if the feeling to draw will return to me.* I wish the new VA Hale much luck with the role, I look forward to hearing her beyond the previous Direct trailers someday, when/if I’m ready to play it.
*= I had a think since typing that, maybe if the two are linked (my feeling to draw and Bayo games) playing Bayo 3 would be good for me, and okay now that the lead VA is a decent person. I've bought it, I'll let it sit for today, but I'll poke at it when I'm ready.
On one hand I crave socialization, but on the other I am completely human-adverse due to years of dealing with almost-entirely assholes, so I suppose without Fursonas I wouldn’t be communicating openly with anyone whatsoever. You can’t trust people. No human is trustworthy.
I’m gonna continue trying to figure out myself this month, I’m feeling alright enough to type this but as you can probably tell, I’m not whole yet, I haven’t used a single emote or text sound effect or innuendo in this whole thing and only now am I noticing that absence. I feel like a empty shell at the moment, but I miss quite a few of you so I wanted to put up some kind of update, especially since I’m missing out on today.
Have a happy Halloween, it’s a lovely day of the year, I hope you all have a good one. I’ll see you down the road a ways, take care.
I had a meltdown after finding out the VA for Bayonetta 1 & 2 is very transphobic, amongst other horrible reveals. My enjoyment of Bayo 2 was quite integral to my whole Mitsy persona, and after that week, I fell apart and haven’t felt like myself, or drawn, since; Like finding out I had a tumor or something of the like, just crushed.
I’ve been dealing with some heavy depression since, losing the years of excitement I had for Bayo 3 at first, now replaced with a sort of numb apprehension, just started a chain of dominoes on all the other shit I’ve been depressed about, debts, world issues, the impending potential loss of democracy in the country I’m stuck in due to tons of senile assholes. I've been trying to keep busy and do my IRL job but some mornings early on I just couldn't get up.
I’ve resigned myself long ago to humanity not having much more than a couple decades left to go, but I can’t deal with being reminded of how awful this species is every day of my life.
I can’t deal with the constant doom anymore, I’ve been using Adblock more severely to help recover, deleting pretty much any incessant activity sections, like Twitter’s “What’s happening” sidebar, and any YouTube comment section. I’ve deleted app versions of various sites from my phone since you can’t Adblock those, which has had the side-effect of removing any notification/alert pop-ups I once received. I’ll have to go through my backlog of mail someday soon.
I wake every day feeling tired and deeply hateful of humanity’s squandering of itself; Something I ridiculously kept at bay with excitement for things like Bayo 3 & BOTW 2, etc.
As of typing this, I think I’d be perfectly fine with the new VA redubbing Bayo 1 & 2 to match 3, I can’t listen to the original now without feeling sick. I’ve deleted the first two from my Switch, threw my Bayo 2 amiibo into a junk drawer. I can’t stand the sight of the series right now, something I never thought I’d feel. I can’t do anything about the real world or this, but the least I can is to delete this shit from my peripheral vision.
*= I had a think since typing that, maybe if the two are linked (my feeling to draw and Bayo games) playing Bayo 3 would be good for me, and okay now that the lead VA is a decent person. I've bought it, I'll let it sit for today, but I'll poke at it when I'm ready.
On one hand I crave socialization, but on the other I am completely human-adverse due to years of dealing with almost-entirely assholes, so I suppose without Fursonas I wouldn’t be communicating openly with anyone whatsoever. You can’t trust people. No human is trustworthy.
I’m gonna continue trying to figure out myself this month, I’m feeling alright enough to type this but as you can probably tell, I’m not whole yet, I haven’t used a single emote or text sound effect or innuendo in this whole thing and only now am I noticing that absence. I feel like a empty shell at the moment, but I miss quite a few of you so I wanted to put up some kind of update, especially since I’m missing out on today.
Have a happy Halloween, it’s a lovely day of the year, I hope you all have a good one. I’ll see you down the road a ways, take care.
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